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I swallowed around the want lodged in my throat. I might’ve watched Jonas for years, wondering about him, but he was off-limits. It didn’t matter that this was the first time I’d talked to him or that I’d never been so close to him. I worked in a harsh environment, and I lived in an even worse one.Rule number five. I couldn’t break it.
We started walking again, and we were close to the school when a haunting chime sounded from my pocket. I sighed, dragging my phone out and staring down at Dutch’s name. The guy hated late assholes who weren’t where they were supposed to be, and that was exactly what I was right now. Murph and I should’ve been at the trailer park waiting for him, and I’d completely forgotten about it.
“What?” I asked as a way of answering, turning my back slightly to Jonas and hoping he didn’t hear Dutch’s mean voice.
“Where the fuck are you, man? I told you eight at the park. What the fucking fuck?” Dutch huffed, his deep baritone grating on my nerves as always. He had a slight English accent, but it wasn’t real. He liked to think he had English swag. It was weird.
“I’ll be there soon,” I answered quietly.
“Nah, fuck that. The Kings want us to deliver the product to the customers on time. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to get on their bad side.” Dutch sighed, and I did, too, when I heard Murph bitching in the background, shouting the word “pussy” again, as though it made him feel better.Asshole.
“I said I’ll be there soon, all right?” I glanced at Jonas, but he was staring in the opposite direction like he was trying hard not to listen, and I appreciated it. In the park there weren’t many secrets. Everyone wanted in on everyone else’s business.
“You have fifteen minutes or we leave without you. If you don’t go, no cut for you.” The line went dead.
I stuffed the phone back into my pocket and stopped, making Jonas do the same thing. Regret twisted my stomach and I gave him another half smile. “I gotta go. Work.”
He nodded. His grin was much wider and nicer than mine, and he lit up the entire street with it. Everything about him shouted danger, and I knew I couldn’t see him again. He would get me into trouble. I could practically hear Leo’s voice telling me to abort this stupid dream. Guys like me didn’t get to be gay and live in happy relationships. I was the type who either lived alone or had to pretend to be straight, marry a woman, have a couple of kids, and continue living in a dump.
“You didn’t tell me your name.” He bit his bottom lip and stepped in closer.
“You said your mom would have a heart attack if she saw you talking to me?” My voice took on a breathless tone and I wasalmostembarrassed by it. But fuck it, he was the only one who got to hear me this way. How long had I crushed on this guy? Years. Now I’d finally gotten to talk to him, and I was a fucking sponge cake with him. All soft and gooey. Leo would be ashamed of me because this wasn’t the type of guy I was.
“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. How old are you, anyway?”
I snorted. “I’m nineteen.”
His eyes widened. “You’re only a year older than me. How did I not know you in school?”
I shrugged and glanced at a small insurance agency to our right. A lady in a nice black dress stopped to stare at us suspiciously, and she was already on her phone, whispering profusely into the call she was on. The last thing I wanted was to get Jonas yelled at by his mother, and talking to me in public would do exactly that.
“I’m a troublemaker.” I nodded at the woman, and he followed my line of sight.
“That’s Mrs. Mulberry. Mom’s church friend.” He frowned at her, then raised his hand to wave.
She returned the gesture, but the way her hand jerked back and forth made it clear she was nervous as she rushed into the insurance agency.
Jonas focused on me, those brown eyes pleading. I wasn’t sure how to explain the exact color of his irises, but they made me want to stare.
“Tell me your name?” He tilted his head.
The word grew heavy on my tongue.
Rule number five—he would make me break it if I wasn’t careful. All I needed to do was give him a chance, and I would be in serious trouble. Everyone would know. I could walk away now and never see him again.
“Ethan,” I answered, with a full smile this time. Stepping back to start moving away, I winked at him. “My name is Ethan.”
I turned and didn’t look back. I began to run as fast as I could, and while I told myself it was because I needed to get to the park to see Dutch, I knew the real reason. The farther I got away from Jonas, the better.
2
JONAS NOMIKOS
Fighting down a smile,I hitched my backpack higher on my shoulders. I usually liked school, but I was glad it was over. I’d felt distracted all day. The church wasn’t too far from Cider Mill High, certainly not far enough that my father would come to pick me up, and besides, it was a nice day out. I studied the blue sky while the late afternoon sun warmed my face, and for the thousandth time Ethan swirled through my mind. The light cut between the orange and gold leaves of the trees along the street and made me stare upward longer. My toes wriggled in my shoes.
Ethan was so interesting, completely different from all the people I knew. His blond hair was too long—or at least, much longer than my parents would like to see on me. He had this look in his rich brown eyes, as if he knew things I didn’t. He just felt... bigger than me. He ate up the air and knew exactly what he wanted out of life. I never knew what to do, but he’d jumped right in while that guy who’d attacked me was losing his mind.
He’d even taken a punch for me.
