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Dad railed and ranted for hours about the sanctity of marriage—between a man and a woman. Our duties to our parents. Not once during the entire diatribe did Chet glance up. He barely breathed. I worried about him and wanted to reach over and shake him, ask if he was okay, but it was clear that wouldn’t be allowed. I didn’t listen to anything Dad said because I knew all the Bible verses he was quoting, and I’d read all the varying opinions on them. A lot of people didn’t think they were talking about two men being in love. The translations were up for debate. It wasn’t as if I could argue, even though I didn’t agree with him. My legs were starting to go numb from sitting up straight in the chair for so long when I abruptly stood, and everyone in the room—except Chet—looked at me.
“Restroom.” I shrugged. “Be right back.”
Dad sighed and nodded, and the Richmonds stared at Chet.
I felt awful as I left. Why? Because I’d just lied. I had no intention of going back in that room. The lies I’d told in there weighed on me. I wished I didn’t have to sneak around the truth. It would be a fantasy world if they could accept me for who I am without trying to change me, but no matter what anyone said, the church was all about making people into something they weren’t. I hated that aspect of it.
I did go to the restroom, but when I finished, I snuck out through the empty, dark sanctuary and unlocked the front doors to leave that way. Then I started walking. I didn’t run. I stretched my legs as far as they would go.
Okay, I was running, but I didn’t want to be.
My eyes burned and I held in tears. I hadn’t even cried when that strange man attacked me this morning. Embarrassment swamped me. I didn’t like Chet well enough to do anything with him, it was mostly a deep friendship, but a part of me wished we had seen each other naked and touched and gotten off together. Then at least the horrible lecture would’ve been worth it.
And my room was ripped apart.
Dad would say things when we were alone that were so much worse than what he had while the Richmonds were in the room. I jogged faster. Sweat dripped down my temples. I took deep breaths. When I glanced up it was a shock that dusk was settling in. The sky was a rich deep purple and blue. Slowly, I shook my head. How long had I sat there and been preached at?
Maybe I should’ve simply confessed. I should’ve looked Dad in the eyes and said, “I’m gay! Now what?” After all, even strangers seemed to know I was different. The man this morning had been screaming nasty things at me. I sighed and slowed. Where was I going so fast? Nowhere, that’s where. Would my parents let me back in the house? They’d definitely found that manga, and I was already toast.
Sighing, I stopped altogether. “Darn it.”
There was a small laugh nearby, and I startled. I was standing near the metal gates that went across the trailer park entrance. I’d never seen them closed. TheLhad fallen off the sign arched above the drive a long time ago, so it just readakeview Trailer Park, and the letters that were left were rusty. A little girl in big red rain boots and a long T-shirt stood nearby, and there were no adults around. She was probably about four and her face was dirty. On a leash behind her was a dog that was six times her size, a white pit bull with its tongue hanging out and lolling to the side.
“Where are your parents?” I asked.
She shrugged. “You wanna walkies my dog with me?”
I strode over and glanced through the gates, but no one seemed to be looking for a little girl. I crouched down. She was cute, with a button nose and big brown eyes. “You should walk your doggie in the park.”
She scowled. “The neighbors don’t like my dog. Bernadette is nice.”
The animal in question came over and leaned against my side until I petted her. “That’s an interesting name for a dog.”
“It’s my grandma’s name. Mommy gave it to her because she said they were both bitches.”
Biting my lip, I almost laughed. I had no idea what to make of that. “Why don’t you let me take you home? I don’t think you should go on a walk by yourself. It’s getting dark.”
“It’s okay. I’m not scared.”
Sighing, I stood and held out my hand. She pouted but dutifully dropped her hand into mine, and we walked back into the park. “The road can be dangerous.”
“That’s what Bernadette is for!”
Shaking my head, I stared at the rows of trailers. In the deepening gloom they all looked the same. “Which one is yours?”
She pointed ahead, and we wandered down the broken pavement of the main lane through the trailers. “Here!” She gestured at a trailer on our right that had a small pink bike leaning against the side.
Uncertain of what I should do, I went up and knocked on the door. There was the sound of some heavy footsteps inside, and then the door swung open. I blinked up into the eyes of a big man with a beard and a cowboy hat perched on his head. His expression went from curious to outraged as he banged the door open and it slapped against the side of the rusty, gray trailer. I jumped back.
“What are you doing with my sister?” he yelled.
The little girl let go of my hand and skipped up to the big man, throwing her arms around his legs.
“He said I couldn’t take Bernadette for a walk.”
The man’s face twisted into fury.
“Wait!” I said, holding up my hands. “I found her out on the main road. I brought her home.”
