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I inhaled deeply and thought about all the rules Leo had taught me. They’d been about survival because he’d known Owen and all the things he hated. Everyone who lived here knew because Owen didn’t keep his views on anything quiet. In my head, I could already imagine what Leo would say if he were still alive.
“Don’t admit it, Ethan. You can still save this. You can suck up to him, pass him extra cash, and he’ll let you stay, as long as you don’t cause any more trouble. But if you admit you’re gay, you’ll never be allowed to stay.”
I glanced at Jonas, who had his arms around himself with his lips sucked into his mouth, concern lingering in his gaze. Finally, I nodded. “Yeah, I’m gay, and Jonas is my boyfriend.”
Owen stamped his foot in a move that reminded me of little Virginia. “You need to leave. Now. Get your shit and go. You know I don’t truck with that shit here.”
“Fine.” I stepped back and grinned. “I don’t want to live in this stupid hellhole anyway. I’ve got a new gig.” I shot Murph a glare. “And as a King, I’ve got some things to tell my pres. Like how Dutch is playing two sides. He’s got some deal with the Demons thattheKing doesn’t know about, and I’m gonna tell him.”
Murph’s eyes widened and he attempted to stand again, but he fell right back on his ass. “You don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“I do.” I crouched in front of him and flicked him on the forehead, and he groaned, falling onto his back on the ground like the simple touch had hurt him. “And the Kings are going to fuck you and Dutch up for double-crossing us.” I stood again and backed away. My attention bounced to Owen. “I’ll grab my stuff and leave.”
Owen grunted but didn’t say another word.
I slid my hand into Jonas’s, led him back to my trailer, and went inside. Jonas’s grip was tight, and he threw himself at me in a hug. I sighed and kissed his cheek. “It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry. You didn’t have to admit anything. I wouldn’t have minded,” he whispered, burying his face against my neck. He smelled woodsy, and I inhaled as much of him as I could get.
“I know, but I don’t care anymore. I’ve been hiding all my life, and I’m done with it. You make me happy, Jonas, and I don’t give a fuck what they think. If you can go through hell to be yourself, I can tell a couple of assholes to fuck off.”
“Where will we go?” He laid a gentle kiss on my skin where my neck met my shoulder, and I hummed at the pleasant brush of his lips.
“We’ll ask to stay at the Kings’ clubhouse until we find a place. If we can’t, then we’ll figure something out.” I grasped his shoulders in a gentle hold and tugged him back so I was staring into his face. “I’ve spent my entire life working stuff out as I go, and I promise I’ll protect you.”
He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth. “Tell me the truth?”
He didn’t have to go into detail. I knew what he wanted. I ran my fingers through my hair and exhaled loudly. “I killed him.”
Jonas let out a gasp but otherwise stayed silent.
“I had to. He wouldn’t give me information, and when he did, I couldn’t let him go. He would’ve ratted us out to the police, and I needed to rescue and protect you. I did what I needed to do.”
He poked his tongue out to lick his lips. “Was it quick?”
“Do you want the truth or a lie?” I asked.
“Truth please?”
“No, it wasn’t quick. I tortured him and made him scream because when someone hurtsyou, I will never make their death painless.” I waited, focusing on his face and the reaction that came with the new information, but he didn’t seem entirely upset. It was as though he’d already known because his shoulders slumped a little and he nodded. “Are you mad?”
“I don’t know how I feel.” He rubbed the sides of his face. “I’m not surprised, I guess, and he wasn’t the best father. Mom is a shell of herself. He shaped her life to be centered around him and now he’s gone. She’s lost and living in a fantasy. That isn’t a good man.”
“Fuck no. Listen, I don’t know jack shit about that sort of life, but it’s abusive. It’s no better than my mom and dad and how they treated us. They lived on alcohol, and they never took care of us.” I shrugged. “The people on your side acted as though they were better than us, but they aren’t. They’re just as bad.”
He blinked sadly at me. “Yeah, they are. Leaving our past behind would be good for both of us.”
I opened up my arms, and he walked into them, resting his cheek against my chest. I curled around his solid body and kissed the top of his head. “Yeah. Let’s start fresh.”
After I packed a few things—I didn’t have much I wanted to take—Jonas and I got onto the bike and took off to New Gothenburg. He sat scrunched in the sidecar next to our bags with his half helmet perched on his head. He was so sweet and such a good sport about everything. I would’ve been complaining about the lack of space, but he’d settled in for the ride. At one point, he reached up toward me, and I grabbed his hand, giving it a squeeze to let him know I was here and not going anywhere. I got a small smile in return.
When we got to the Kings’ clubhouse, I pulled the bike up next to a row of motorcycles already there, and Jonas stood up and stepped out. He slid off his helmet and dumped it onto his seat. Once I dismounted the bike and took off my helmet, I met him on his side and dragged him against my body. He offered me a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes and it broke my heart. I didn’t know if the truth about his father upset him or if it was everything else. I shouldn’t have let him go over to his mother’s house, but I hadn’t realized he would do something so stupid, either. I suppose it made sense to him.
We walked past the German shepherd guarding the front door and into the clubhouse. I took Jonas into the barroom, where I heard a commotion, then grinned when I saw Scar playing a game of pool with Barber. A group of Kings surrounded them, and money was changing hands, as though there was a bet on who would win.
A man I didn’t know, dressed in black pants and a black turtleneck, stood near Barber and was whispering things in his ear. The stranger had short dark hair and a vigilant stare that darted toward us when we entered, as though he was aware of everything happening around him.
“Hey, no cheating,” Scar growled out, shaking the pool stick at the stranger. “Quain, you might be Barber’s boy toy, but don’t tell him how to win.”
