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“You should have told me. I wouldn’t have gone to Phoebe’s last night if it meant leaving her alone.”
Mum’s eyelids flickered and she groaned. Everybody stilled.
I took Mum’s hand in mine. Her eyes opened and she blinked rapidly, adjusting to the light. A relief so overwhelming raced through me that it made tears press at my eyes.
“We’re here, Mum. You don’t have to worry about anything. You rest. We’re all here.”
She stared straight ahead, her face gaunt and white. Her fingers shook as she reached up to swipe at my face. “Miri?” Her voice was thin and tired. She brushed my muddy cheek with her thumb and a faint trembling smile lifted one corner of her mouth. “You … could … have … had a shower.”
Frankie burst through the door. “Mum,” she cried. She flew toward the bed.
Gabe stepped back out of the way. He squeezed my hand. “I’ll leave you. It’s getting crowded.”
He picked up his peacoat and moved to the door. My feet carried me out after him into the corridor.
“Gabe. Wait.”
He stopped and turned. His exhausted gaze roved over me. I pulled at my filthy football kit and straightened my socks over my shin pads.
“Your driver said you saved her life.”
He raked his hand through his messy hair and smoothed his crumpled shirt. “It’s a blur. I did my best until the paramedics got there.”
“You stayed here all night?”
He nodded.
My eyes filled with tears. None of us had been here, but at least Mum hadn’t been alone. “Thank you.”
He took a step closer and halted. “Things are not right between us, and you must have a million thoughts going through your head right now, but if you need anything, anything at all, let me know. I want to help.”
He turned around and I grabbed his hand. “What were you doing at my mum’s house?”
He glanced at where my hand gripped his wrist. I released him.
“I wanted to give you a letter. I want to apologize and explain.”
I couldn’t have this conversation now. Not with Mum so ill. I bit my lip, holding back tears. “I can’t do this now, Gabe. I can’t.”
Gently, he brushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumb, his fingers cool and soothing on my skin. “I know. You need to focus on your family now. I’m here for you. Whatever you need. I want to be here for you. If you’ll let me. Just as a friend. I want to be your friend, Miri.”
I nodded woodenly, too tired to argue. None of the stuff we’d argued about mattered now. He turned on his heel and strode away.
I called after him. “Gabe?”
He threw a glance over his shoulder and raised a questioning eyebrow.
I wiped my cheeks with the back of my hand. “Do you still have the letter?”
Later that night, in the hospital canteen, I sat in a quiet corner and opened Gabe’s envelope.
Dear Miri,
I’m so sorry for the hurt I’ve caused you. I know I’ve fucked up. This thing with Emma was so stupid. I was angry. It’s so hard to trust when your whole life is on show and up for public debate.
My mother gave me an ultimatum. If I got back together with Emma and played a role then she’d do everything she could to bury the tape. I needed her help. I needed to be certain that this didn’t get out, not for me, but for you. I couldn’t care less if people see me but I couldn’t stand the thought of your name being dragged through the dirt.
It made me sick to think you would see those photos of me and Emma. It was all pretend. There was never anything physical between us. We didn’t sleep together. I wouldn’t touch her after the way she betrayed me. I don’t have any feelings toward her anymore.
