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I nod. Move to Liv’s side and squat down. “Going to pick you up now Sweetheart. Promise I won’t drop you.”
She gives me a lazy smile. “Thank you Mass. Thank you for coming after me.”
She shouldn’t be thanking me. I put her in danger. If she stays with me, she will have a target on her back. I should send her home. Get her away from me.
I pick her up as gently as I can. She bites on her lip. I know she is holding back the cry of pain. Kissing her forehead as I make my way out of the room and out of the basement. I make a promise to myself. To her. I will protect her. I won’t be letting her go. I can’t. I’ll teach her to shoot, to fight. I’ll get her a guard. Ten guards. I’ll put a tracker in her arm. I’ll stalk her wherever she goes. I don’t care. I’m keeping her.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Livianna
I’M NOT SUREhow long I was out for. There is an IV in my right arm that’s feeding me some kind of pain killer because I’m not feeling much of anything at the moment. Well, not physically anyway.
Mentally I’m in anguish. I killed someone. It was a split second decision. We had been struggling with the gun for a while. I was losing strength. She had already shot the gun twice during our struggle. I knew if she did it a third time, it would be the end of me. So I used the keys as a distraction, got her to hurdle over me. The force of our changing weight sent us vaulting forward. With the gun at my shoulder, I prayed I’d miss the artery and fired. I knew it was a risk. But waiting was no longer an option. I couldn’t get the keys to Massimo. They couldn’t get into the cell. I couldn’t get the gun out of her hands.
It was the only play I had to make. I knew shooting myself would hurt. I also knew there was a solid chance I would be killing her. The angle at which she was on top of me would have had the bullet enter her upper body no matter what.
I’m not mad she’s dead. Good riddance.
In my missions for my dad. I had heard rumors of her. She was right to some degree when she said we were alike. Long before I was helping my dad and seducing men to get them to lower their inhibitions and lure them to my father, she was doing something similar. Only she was playing the long game.
First she did it with the Russians. She had worked her way into their fold and settled herself in as a mistress of the Pakhan, the Russian equivalent to a Don. While I had never met her, and I hadn’t known our paths to cross, I knew of her. I hated her. She held no loyalty. She wanted money and power and did anything to get it. While I played a role, it was to keep the family safe. Hunt down the rat. Dig up dirt on those who longed to turn their backs on the Caruso Family.
How she ended up with Massimo, I’m not sure. I may not want to know.
I’m sure it involves them naked. I must physically flinch in addition to mentally doing so, because Massimo squeezes my hand tighter and calls out my name. “Liv. Sweetheart?”
I had felt his presence. Knew whose hand I was holding. I hadn’t wanted to open my eyes. Opening them made it feel real. Made everything real.
“Come on baby. I know you’re awake.” He boops me on the nose. I guess it’s our thing. The big scary Mafia Enforcer booping noses. I let out a little giggle at the image of him doing it to Luca or Paolo. I shouldn’t have laughed. It jostles my shoulder and pulls at the stitches which sends a shot of pain up and down my arm. My eyes fly open and I let out a hiss. “Easy.” He coos as he helps me to sit up and adjusts the pillows.
I use my free hand to rub at my forehead while I take stock of the rest of my body. Everything else feels okay. Guess the truth will come out after the IV is gone.
Massimo stands and strokes my hair. I’m not sure I want him close right now. I need to know who Rachel was to him. Did he love her? Why did he leave me to go to her?
I pull back from his touch. He sighs. His face showing his dejection. “You’re mad” It’s an observation not an accusation.
“Yes. I am. You left me.” I need this off my chest. “I thought we both wanted to take the next step. You seemed into it, then you got a phone call and it was like I didn’t exist. That hurt Massimo.”
His mouth opens like he wants to interrupt, I don’t let him. “You were gone for hours. All sorts of thoughts went through my head. And when I went downstairs to get a drink and clear my head, there you were. Holding her hands. Being close and intimate.” Words are becoming choked. The emotions I want to hold back are fighting their way through.
“Sweetheart. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I told you I’ve never been in a relationship. I’ve never had to think of someone else’s feelings in a situation. Safety, yes. So, that’s what I did. I know now I should have explained myself before leaving. I swear to you, I will communicate everything from now on.” I don’t answer him. I can see where he is coming from. We did tell me he had never been in a relationship.
Then again, even someone who hadn’t, and who had seen the rejection and concern on my face when he gave me that singular look before he left should have been clue enough to talk.
“I swear. Nothing happened with her last night. I hadn’t seen her since that day I broke things off and she tried to kiss me. It was her lipstick you saw on my cheek. Nothing happened that day either. I went over to her place cause she had called me a handful of times and wouldn’t stop. I wanted her to know it was over. What she and I had was just sex, and it happened before I met you. Since then, I haven’t been with her. Haven’t been with anyone.”
I nod my head. That gives me some level of comfort. I don’t see any tells of deception or lying in his body language.
“Last night, she came to the Compound gate and was giving the guards hell. I’m not sure how she knew I was here. I never discussed the Mafia with her. I was attracted to her. Thought about dating her. Even went on one date so I could see if I felt a deeper connection. See if I could trust her.” He looks so forlorn. I want to reach out and comfort him, but I don’t. He needs this off his chest, and I’m not sure I’m ready for whatever this is between us.
I’m not sure I’m ready for this level of involvement in the Mafia. I wasn’t comfortable with what I was doing with dad, but I did it for him. Now getting into a fight with Massimo’s ex, getting shot, and killing someone, I don’t know how to process all of this.
“My gut told me I couldn’t. Guess I know why now. She was lying and using me the whole time. I’m so sorry sweetheart. You should have never had to face her, never had to fight her, or shoot anyone.” An apology. Wow. “I want to say it won’t ever happen again. I wish I could and mean it. My life is dangerous. With you as my woman, you will always have a target on your back.”
“Massimo…” I want to tell him I’m not his woman. Not now, or yet, or maybe ever. After everything that has happened, I need to do some soul searching. I like Massimo. I could even see myself loving him. But this? This life of constant danger? Can I do that?
“I’ve already started taking precautions. You’ll have a team of guards when you’re not at the compound. I’ll train you. You look like you already know the basics of self-defense. I can teach you more. You may never need to use them, but you’ll know them.” He’s up and pacing the room now.
