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I don’t believe her. My hands keep moving until I get to her hands. She has a deep gash on her right hand. I hold her hand up to prove my point. She sighs, then leans in for me to hold her close again. “Okay, so it’s not all my blood. I promise. That’s the only spot. The mirror cut me when I stabbed him with it.
"Blood thirsty little thing." Ivan says with a laugh from the door. "Stole my kill. He killed my cousin. Though, I suppose your girl did a good job making it painful. Fucker was choking on his own blood when I came in."
Livianna wrenches herself from Massimo's arms and vomits all over Joseph’s body. Causing Ivan to laugh.
"Just when I didn't think I could like you Italians more!" He continues to laugh as he leaves the room. "I hope my future wife is just like this one."
"Mine." I growl.
"Yours." Livianna agrees as she presses her forehead to mine.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Livianna
IT'S BEEN Afew weeks. Things are relatively calm around here. Val is healing nicely. Though he hasn't woken up yet. The surgeon is still here. Luca refuses to let her leave. She’s not our usual Doctor. She’s a surgeon. She was called in to save Val when they couldn’t get him to the hospital. The Compound was closer, and he was bleeding out.
She’s a beast in the infirmary. Doesn’t take shit from any of the men. It’s amazing to watch. I’ve gotten to spend a bit of time with her the last few days. Partially cause I feel bad for her. I know what it’s like to be kidnapped and kept in this place. The other reason is because I’m late. It’s only a few days, but mine are always on time.
She handed me a stick to pee on a few minutes ago. She offered me the bathroom in the infirmary to take it. I declined. I needed to be alone while I panic. So here, I am. Hiding in the bathroom of one of the many guest rooms waiting for the timer on my phone to go off.
Three minutes. Feels like more. I'm not sure what I'm hoping the test will say. I feel like I already know. My breasts are already tender and I've been getting nauseous at random times of the day. It started a week ago. I thought it was delayed stress or panic from everything that happened.
I have nightmares sometimes and the scar on my hand is a reminder of my second kill.
I don't feel bad. He deserved it. Even without considering what he did to me. His death is justified after all the women's lives he's ruined.
Still, as I sit here, I wonder if I can do this. Am I cut out to be a mother? Is this life any place for a child? If it is a boy, how much blood will be on his hands? If a girl, will she end up like me? Will she get into dangerous situations and need to spill blood? Will she be targeted, attacked?
Panic is threatening to consume me. I barely notice the door being opened. I look up just as Massimo is pocketing his tools. Damn man hates when I lock the door between us. He removed our bathroom door handle after the last time I did it.
I just wanted to use the bathroom in peace. Without him hovering. His protective instincts since the events have been overwhelming. Most times I love it. I feel safe with him around. He keeps both the nightmares at night and the dark thoughts during the day away.
My therapist says it’s normal after what I've been through. Funny. I didn't think the Mafia men had therapists. Boy was I wrong. There are several.
All trusted members of the family. I wonder how bad their nightmares are? I imagine they have them after the horrible stories they must hear.
"Swear to god woman, I will handcuff you to the bed if you make me hunt you down again." I smile. I can't help but to smile around him. He is the light of my life.
My smile must not reach my eyes because he rushes to me. “What's wrong? Are you sick?”
My eyes flick to the test on the counter as my phone alarm sounds. It's time to look.
“Is that?” He asks, nodding to the test.
I don’t have words so I nod back.
“Are you?” I shrug. “You haven't looked?”
“Not yet.” I reply.
“Are you scared?
I think for a moment and answer honestly. "No. Are you?” I don’t let him answer yet. I see his mouth open and panic. “I know we didn't plan this. We haven't been together long. We haven't talked about..."
He stops me with a kiss. "I love you. We might not have planned it, and we definitely didn't try to prevent it.” He says with a wink. “But I'm not scared. I love you. I want everything with you. Marriage, babies, fights, make-up sex, a house, a dog....”
“Of course you would include sex."
