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Again, he didn’t say one word. Instead, he stepped back, breaking our connection.
“Your brother—”
“He never has to know.”
“For fuck’s sake,” he exclaimed, shaking his head with a torn expression.
I played into his uncertainty, coaxing, “Just be with me.”
Not allowing another second to pass us by, in one swift movement, I removed my bra and was about to slide down my panties, but he stopped me again. Grabbing my fingers that were on the elastic of my panties, he held them in his tight grasp.
There I stood, topless in front of him.
Exposed.
Vulnerable.
Laying it all out for him to finally know how I feel about him.
“You’re leaving tomorrow,” he reminded in a ragged tone.
I looked deep into his eyes and rasped, “So then give me something to come home to.”
Neither one of us said anything for what felt like forever. We just stood there, staring into one another’s eyes and searching for answers in the forefront of our chaotic minds. I don’t know how long we stayed like that. It could have been minutes or hours. Everything seemed to blend.
The past.
Present.
Future.
It was a kaleidoscope of mixed emotions and memories, shining blindly at us until everything was about to change between us. What happened next was a moment I’d never forget. It’d haunt all of my feelings about us, replacing all the good ones withthisbad.
With one last look at me, he let go of my hands.
I felt the loss of his touch.
His warmth.
His affection.
Swiftly, he grabbed the throw blanket off his bed and draped it around my shoulders, covering my bare body with it. Instantly making me feel foolish.
Rejected.
Undesired.
“I can’t,” he sincerely stated, putting an end to us before we had a chance to begin.
“Because of my brother?”
“He’s just one of the many reasons.”
“And what are the others?”
“Hazel. I just…” He pulled his hair away from his face like he wanted to rip it out. With a tormented expression, he added, “Your first time should be with someone who isn’t watching the door, waiting for your brother to lose his shit over this misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstanding?” I jerked back, hurt. “How about I make it crystal clear to you, then?”
