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“Yeah.” She beamed, glancing my way. “I don’t know why I just said that—it just came out, Ledger.”
As if baby girl understood, she kicked again.
I was at a loss for words. “You want to name her after my mom?”
“I think she wants us to name her after your mom.”
With wide eyes, I expressed, “I’d love nothing more than to name our baby girl after my mom.”
She nodded. “I can’t think of a better woman to name her after, Ledger.”
I crouched down on the floor to kiss her stomach.
“Hallie,” I whispered, rubbing my lips against Hazel’s silky soft skin. She smelled of cocoa butter and sunscreen. My favorite scents.
“I love you so much.”
There was no chance this wasn’t my mom’s doing. I asked her for a sign…
And I couldn’t think of a better one than this.
Twenty-One
Hazel
Iwasn’t sure if I could handle all these new emotions Ledger opened up inside me. Each day brought on more guarded feelings in ways I never thought possible. I was officially in my third trimester, and Hallie had made her presence known. I was getting to the point of not being able to get out of bed or off the couch by myself, needing more help from Ledger or his family.
My parents still didn’t know I was pregnant, and honestly, I didn’t miss them or care that they weren’t involved. There were days when I felt like stepping over the invisible line of Ledger’s and my relationship, continuing to battle my heart over my mind.
We spent a lot of time together, learning something new about each other with each passing day. It was interesting to peel back the different layers that made Ledger Beckham.
What made him happy.
What made him smile.
What made him laugh.
And one of my personal favorites, what made him horny, which happened to be my pregnant belly. The fact that I felt as big as a house and still turned him on surprised me.
I’d never seen a bond like the one he had with his family. They were all extensions of one another, and I often felt like I was part of their tight unit. Ledger insisted that I was, and I could feel it. They did love me, treating me as if I were one of their own, and I truly cherished that. His father was definitely his role model, and I realized that the more I was around them.
Then there wasme…
Ledger was like Jekyll and Hyde. He was very charming yet an asshole when he wanted to be. He loved playing with my hair or rubbing my back and feet. Pretty much anything that involved his hands on me.
He was extremely bright and knew all sorts of random facts about anything and everything. He actually enjoyed watching the news, Discovery, or History channel, saying it was good to know what was happening in the world. He hated the unexpected and had to be in control all the time.
One thing was for sure, the more I was around him, the more I wanted to be around him. He made me feel safe, and for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t lonely anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I always had my brother, but he had his own life, and we lived in different states. I had friends in New York, but they were mostly acquaintances.
My career was basically my whole world, and I was fine with that. Before getting pregnant, it was my only baby, and I couldn’t tell you how relieved I was that being pregnant didn’t mess up my work ethic. Yes, sometimes I experienced mom brain, but it was for random-ass things. Like going to the kitchen for a glass of water and forgetting what I was there for. Or where I left my keys or cell phone when they were actually in my hands.
Ledger loved picking on me when that happened. He enjoyed torturing me with his relentless flirting.
“Where are we going?” I asked as he was driving toward I don’t know where.
“What part of surprise did you not understand?”
He loved to do this too, surprising me with all sorts of stuff. Bringing me flowers every week had become part of his routine. When I called him out on it, he simply said, “I like seeing you smile.”
