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The irony was not lost on me.
I was pitifully keeping my feelings in check. However, it was becoming harder every second. His ranch was starting to feel like my home.
Hewas starting to feel like my home.
This house wasn’t mine.
Hewasn’t mine.
The side of him he was openly showing me, I didn’t think he had it in him. Not in my wildest dreams did I think I’d witness a man more in love with his daughter than he was. Now that we knew it was a girl, he talked about her all the time. He was such a doting father, and she wasn’t even born yet.
I couldn’t ignore that.
I couldn’t ignorehim.
His family was just as consumed and excited with our baby girl as we were. I thought about that evening when we told them about her name at his dad’s house. Everyone was there, including Chance.
“We’d like to introduce to you to”—Ledger rubbed my belly—“Hallie Beckham.”
Haven burst into tears while his dad's eyes rimmed with them.
Jace pulled him into a tight hug first. “I can’t think of a better name for her, man. Mom would be so happy. She’d be so fucking proud of you.”
I wiped away a few tears of my own.
Chance embraced him next. “That’s a damn good name if I’ve ever heard one.”
His father was the last to hug him, and the moment he wrapped his arms around his neck, he broke down, crying into his son’s chest. It was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever witnessed, and I thanked my lucky stars that our baby girl would be born into this loving family.
Right then and there, I knew this might not have been planned, but Hallie wasn’t a mistake or an accident…
She was a blessing.
For all of us in similar ways.
It was the first time since his mom passed away that I felt her there with us. Her presence filled the room as if she were standing there, alive and present. It was the craziest sensation, and by the expressions on everyone’s faces, they felt it too.
Ledger’s family stopped by at least a couple of times a week, and I was getting used to being part of their closeness. Our baby girl would be so loved, and despite the way we hooked up, I couldn’t imagine a better family for her to be born in.
At least I did something right by her.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen after I moved back to New York and how much it would impact their relationship with her. I wanted her to have her family near, and I considered buying my own place and maybe splitting my time in both states. Now that I had my horse, I was pushed in that direction.
I can’t stay here with Ledger, can I?
I had my own private plane, so I could easily make it work. It was only a three-hour plane ride. We weren’t that far from each other, or it was what I kept telling myself. As the delivery date neared, I feared for the future. I didn’t want to fuck this up.
Especially for her.
Despite the fact that he gave me pleasure whenever I wanted, we hadn’t had sex. Not that I didn’t want to, but he wouldn’t. He said what he was doing to me was enough for him. Although, he always jumped in the shower after, and I was aware of what he was doing in there. The thought alone would turn me on all over again.
I knew the layout of his house like the back of my hand. My feet gravitated toward the room closest to ours as if a string pulled me. We spoke about this being the nursery.
I didn't fight it. I went willingly, not sure what to expect or why I was being yanked in that direction, but I needed to find out, nonetheless. Nothing could stop my feet from moving toward that room, spending hours upon hours looking through magazines and catalogs, wanting to make it absolutely perfect for her.
“Oh my God,” I breathed out, stopping dead in my tracks when standing in front of the room that was supposed to be Hallie’s nursery.
Everything was already there, and I had no idea when he made this happen or how it was even delivered, and I didn’t notice until this very second. The room had everything we wanted, from the color of the walls, which were already painted a soft pastel pink, to the crib that needed to be put together, and the accents for decorations, a changing table, as well as the scattered stuffed animals on the floor.
