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I shoot him an irritated look.
“Our little Harry is still pure and virtuous as ever?” Cash asks, a slimy grin on his face as he cracks eggs into an oversized bowl.
“Why are you guys so interested in my dick?” I gripe, taking another swig of workout mix.
“Maybe because you’re the only twenty-five-year-old virgin we know?” Mason offers, while my brothers all agree like assholes.
Yup. That’s me. Probably the only remaining adult virgin in Honey Hill. Well, if you don’t count our middle school math teacher, who’s creepy as fuck, by the way. To me, it’s not that big of a deal. But to the guys, I’m a mystery they’re desperate to solve.
“I’m pretty sure your football game would be better if you were getting laid every now and then,” Jasper says with a carefree shrug. “Just sayin’.”
I get painful flashbacks to the Paragons’ abysmal away game two nights ago. We really got our asses handed to us. I cringe.
“I’m pretty sure science says the exact fucking opposite.” I shoot a look at Mason who nods, backing me up.
Cash frowns, a line forming between his brows. “How long do you plan to stay a virgin anyway?”
“Yeah, what exactly are you waiting for?” Mason asks, looking genuinely curious.
“There’s no plan,” I say defensively. “It just…is what it is.”
“Do you, like, need some tips or something?” Cash snorts.
“I’ve got some tips for you!” Jasper pipes up, finding a marker in one of Grammy’s kitchen drawers. “Let me draw you a diagram.”
“Shut up,” I mutter. Just over here, minding my business, drizzling my muffins.
Jasper ignores me, grabbing a roll of receipt paper. He tears off a piece and starts scribbling. “Okay, buddy. Listen closely. See this hole right here. This is where you insert—”
Mason throws his head back, laughing. “Dude, if that’s what your reproductive anatomy looks like, you should probably come down to the clinic and get it checked out. We have antibiotics for the Sin Valley itch now. You don’t have to suffer in silence any longer, buddy.”
“My reproductive anatomy is a work of art. You can read all about it in Emma’s upcoming book. Pre-order now, bitches.” He cocks an eyebrow in my direction. “Now, back to Harry…”
“Oh, for the love of god.” I scoff, turning my back and refusing to listen to any more of their nonsense.
This isn’t the first time they’ve drilled me on this. And I know it won’t be the last. But telling them my reasons wouldn’t get them off my back.
The memory of our parent’s marriage crumbling is forever burned into my brain. It sucked. I remember the screaming matches in the living room. The cancelled family trips. Our little sister, Nicky, crawling into my bed afraid and in tears and asking me a million questions I couldn’t answer. Mom, taking us away from the home where we were all born in Chicago and moving us here to Honey Hill.
But as painful as it was, the demise of our parents’ marriage motivated me. Witnessing the disastrous way it all fell apart made me want to be different. It made me determined to get the happy ending Mom and Dad never got. I want my romantic future to be different than how my parents’ turned out.
I take this shit seriously.
And in order to get the best possible outcome there, I need to be the best version of myself and choose the best possible partner. That’s the foundation of any relationship that’s going to succeed in the long-run. And I’m willing to wait on having sex until I find that woman, no matter who wants to talk shit about me in the meantime.
My teammates wanna laugh?Okay, whatever.
My high school buddies wanna make fun of me?Go ahead. Y’all are miserable anyway.
My brothers wanna be nosy?Fine, ask away.
My choice to remain a virgin isn’t a virtuous thing. It’s not a religious thing, either. I don’t even care about waiting until marriage—I’m not that old-fashioned. I just want to have something important to give the right woman when I find her.
And I’m pretty sure I’ve found her. It’s just a matter of getting her on-board with the whole happily-ever-after thing. But that’s an internal debate for some other time.
I know the guys won’t get it, but that’s okay. It’s my reason. My choice. My life.
When I tune back in, I find the guys still talking in circles about me.
