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August 2015
Ghazni, Afghanistan
John knew the moment the mail arrived. He was walking through camp and the whistles and catcalls began. Instead of getting upset, he smiled sadly. They might call him ol’man, but the more he thought about it? The more he realized he was actually in his prime and it was time for him to plan on enjoying his life. He got a haircut instead of just getting in line to get buzzed like the other men. They quite often got the clippers out and gave each other free cuts when needed. No, he’d made up his mind and wanted to move on with his life. He was not re-upping at his twenty-year mark in November. He wanted to start the second part of his life.
He'd made his decision when they were sweeping the hills for bombs. He’d been on alert, watching for any sign of movement. A couple of guys were fooling around, pushing on each other and not paying attention. He’d heard the deafening click and Radar’s terrified yelp just moments before the young man lost his foot. A land mine had been activated. It was a crude device that he’d not seen before. He’d thrown himself on the man, and immediately unwound his belt using it as a tourniquet. He’d saved his life, but at what cost?
That young man was traumatized and getting a one-way ticket home on a medical discharge, if he so wanted. John was frightened too. They’d immediately backed out of the canyon in order to get him to a medic, but frankly all of them were shaken. John prayed hard that night for the strength to get through the next few months. He knew then that he was going home no matter what and he was taking Radar with him. His pup had lost an eye from the debris and John wouldn’t part with her. She’d been his best friend and he didn’t want a replacement dog. He wanted Radar, and for them to go home together. That became his mantra.
That night he’d taken solace in writing to Lily, a flood of emotion unleashing. He mailed the post card with nothing but a simple statement: ‘hope you are doing well’, he told her. That wasn’t enough for him; it was like the steam before the geyser exploded. He needed to talk, to vent. It was like he needed to get the fear and dread out of his system, purge it so he could function. He had two and a half months left to serve, then he’d be free – but for what?
Lily,
I write not because I want to, but because I have to. We had a close one today that shook me to the core and I need to get past it or someone could get hurt. Radar was injured today and it’s like I feel gutted on the inside. She lost an eye. Corporal Minter lost his foot and I feel like it’s my fault. I’ve never seen a bomb like that before and we didn’t know what to expect. I’ve always been extremely careful and detailed, but it wasn’t enough today. Nothing seems to take this feeling from me. I’ve prayed, harder than I’ve ever done before, yet all I keep thinking about is wondering what you would do or say. What would my friend say to me to help me through this funk I’m in? I bought you something today but not sure if you’d like it because I barely know you. Tell me about yourself? What things do you like to do? What makes you smile? I bet you have a lovely laugh and pleasant disposition. Surely such a wonderful person couldn’t have anything otherwise- right?
Sleep well tonight, for I know that I will not.
John
He walked the letter to the post office and checked on Radar at the medic’s office. They didn’t have a veterinary specialist on sight, but at this point it didn’t matter. The eye was gone, and it was simply up to them to prevent infection and treat the wound. He petted Radar and held her, as she whined and licked his face. John spoke to her softly and told her what a good dog she was, because it was true. Radar was his best friend and he could have lost her today.That could have been me, he thought, touching the scar at his temple that he’d gotten years ago. Leaving the clinic, he knew instantly he had another care package from Lily.
John was beyond down and so glad to hear from her. Radar was staying for observation and thankfully Minter was asleep under some strong medication. He held the young man as he screamed in pain and carried him back, barking orders left and right. It was his watch; his duty, and he’d failed him. Sure enough, on his bunk was a small box. He didn’t even smile when he opened it this time, he was simply worn out emotionally and mentally. Just like before, the other guys gathered around until they saw what was in the box.
“Circus peanuts? Man, your chick has some bad taste in candy and in men. Tell her we preferred the Twinkies!” John looked over his shoulder and snarled at the crowd. They backed away slowly, knowing that the man had already proven he had a hot temper, and today had NOT been a good day.
“They weren’t for you. They’re for me and she’s pretty darn perfect so far.” He looked back at the box and felt a lightness seep into his soul. How did she know that he loved these candies? He’d not had them since he was a boy. Just breathing in the vanilla scent of the marshmallow peanuts brought back memories. That was one thing that always amazed him, the fact that they seemed to be on the exact same wave length with the same affinity for sweets. She was going to give him a spare tire around his middle, if he didn’t watch it.
He opened the letter and cradled it close to him as to avoid prying eyes. He felt tears almost well up as he saw the lush greenery in the printed-out photo and said a fervent prayer. He wanted to go home so badly he could taste it. This was about the best box she could have sent him. He could wade in the memories and dream of what home might look like. Sniffing, he opened the other letter and smiled widely. John turned around eagerly, suddenly overcome with an inner fire.
“Where’s a land line at?”
“There is one in the medical office for emergencies, I think?”
Getting up, he sprinted to the commissary as quickly as possible, garnering several alarmed looks from other men nearby. He flew in the door and ran straight to the register. He’d seen the phone cards under lock and key along with the cigarettes and overly priced bottles of alcohol. That’s where he’d seen the gift for her: a pair of tiny lapis lazuli earrings that were extremely delicate. The blue stones didn’t glitter much, but they were a brilliant shade and he’d liked them. He hadn’t mailed them because it seemed so personal, and he didn’t want to scare her off. He needed her letters simply as a tether to the outside world.
“I need a phone card, please.”
“Which one?””
“Biggest one you’ve got,” he said honestly. He was going to call her and needed to hear a friendly voice, her voice. He wanted to talk but didn’t know where to start, so it might be a long call or a very short one. He prayed it was a long call.
“Got someone special to call? You can use that room back there,” the clerk pointed at the back of the tiny building. John glanced at him in surprise. “There’s directions taped to the table on how to put your calling card in and dial the US.”
“There’s a phone here?”
“For emergencies. I assume this is one?”
“No.”
“You are calling a girl?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Go ahead buddy,” he said with a wide grin.
“Thank you,” he told him, grabbing his hand and shaking it. He quickly paid. It was either going to be the best or worst hundred bucks he’d ever spent. He needed this and hoped this was the right decision. He had her letter in his hand and noticed it shook. He was a wreck and scared to death. He sat down in the small room and shut the door behind him, staring at the phone like it could hurt him more than he had already suffered today. He took a moment and said a silent prayer, trying to calculate the time difference between them. It was 2 pm here, so it was close to 10pm there. He wondered if she would be awake. He took a deep breath and dialed the phone.
* * *
