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His breathing intensifies and I hold on to hope that means he is still able to move his body. That he can still get out. His cough gets worse as he tries to say something else but can’t force the words out through his throat. It has to just be from the smoke. That’s all. He can still get out and be okay.
“Let me go,” Rachel screams as she fights to get out of Scar’s grip. A new fervor in every movement as her hope is revived that he’s okay. That we can still save him. “I need to save him,” she begs. Scar tightens her grip, trying to point out the flames that have almost completely consumed the building already. Alec may be able to find a way out through the back or side, but there’s no way any of us could make it in through the front. It’s too far gone.
“Rachel, you’re going to get yourself killed,” Scar tries to reason with her, not letting her go even as they both fall to the ground in their struggle. She keeps her arms tightly banded around Rachel. She’s too lost to her own fear, a driving need to be with her other half. To feel him in her arms. I can’t even blame her.
“Rach…” Alec starts to call her name, probably going to tell her to stay where she is. We all hold our breath as we wait for him to tell all of us it’s going to be okay. That he’s fine. But instead of any of that, a loud bang fills the comm before radio silence, only the crackle of the fire filling the line. His voice fades away before he can even finish her name.
We all freeze.
Another long drawn out breath fills the line, it sounds weaker than before.
No. Please no.
How could everything change so fast?
We were just laughing, just joking about new nicknames to give to Rachel. Just making plans for how to celebrate today and what we were going to do next. This was supposed to be the easy part. We just watched as he kissed Rachel with his whole heart.
Silence fills the line, only broken by the sounds of the fire blazing.
“Alec,” Rachel screams again. Each agonized scream losing any sense of coherency as she begs and pleads for him to breathe. To speak. To give any sign that he’s still there. I watch as with every second that passes, every scream that is ripped from her throat, and every tear that stains the pavement under her body, she cracks and breaks open. Her heart ripped out of her chest as a huge part of who she is bleeds out of her leaving her a shell as she falls into her grief.
The fire rages out of control in front of us. The building crumbling right before our very eyes. It’s hard to choose which disaster to watch. The flames that stole Alec from us, or the way we may be losing Rachel too. I stand in horror as my eyes flick between both tragedies, wanting to make it all better but knowing from my own experience nothing will ever ease the ache of this memory for her.
Rachel stops fighting Scar as she collapses into her body instead. Gut wrenching sobs are torn from her throat. She’s never going to be the same again. We’ve all had great losses, scars that run deep, I just never thought I would be there to witness someone else’s worst moment of their life.
“Rachel,” Scar cries with her. Tears rush down her face as she squeezes Rachel, as if she can hold her together by pure force. As if we can still pick up her shattered pieces from this parking lot so we don’t have to lose her too.
I finally move into action, rushing to cover them from the hell reigning down over us. Pieces of ash fall and burn my skin as I lean over the pair to protect them as much as I can. From what I can at least.
I doubt Rachel can feel anything at all right now. She’s not aware of anything but the all-consuming pain of losing Alec.
Kade’s shoulder presses into mine as Luca stands on guard. Ready to cover us from whoever the fuck did this. None of this makes sense. How the fuck did this happen? How could we go from riding such a high to…this? There are no words to even describe what this is.
Rachel’s screams and Scar’s cries fill the air with the most haunting and world shattering cacophony that’ll follow me into my nightmares for years to come. She doesn’t cry out his name anymore, only wild, soul shuddering screams that pierce my ears in her effort to release some of her pain into the world. To feel even the slightest bit like maybe he can still hear her.
Tears stream down my face as I still hold out hope that Alec is going to come back on the line any second now. We all know it isn’t going to happen. It’s why even Rachel stopped begging. Her screams less about reaching him and more about releasing the anguish that is consuming her. An outlet for what she must be experiencing.
“Letty,” Luca warns, “we have to go.”
“No,” Rachel pleads. “I can’t,” she sobs. “I can’t just leave him.”
“Rachel, I’m so fucking sorry,” Scar apologizes. Her face is smeared with tears and ash, no trace of the strong leader we all know. There’s as much confusion on her face as in my head.
I turn to survey the damage. Most of the building is already gone and the fire still rages on. I close my eyes and listen to the comm piece, it’s the loudest and simultaneously quietest thing I’ve ever heard.
I never knew how loud a fire could be, but there’s not even the slightest hint of anything that sounds human. Nothing alive. No breathing. No heartbeat. No Alec.
“I’m so sorry,” Scar says again. “He’s gone, Rachel. He couldn’t have survived that.”
“No, no, no, no,” Rachel denies. “Please no.” Scar wraps her arms around Rachel, and she falls apart in her arms. Huge, soul tearing sobs. Her body shakes so hard it almost looks like she’s convulsing as she loses herself in Scar’s arms.
“We have to go,” Scar tells her. I can tell it’s breaking her just as much to have to tear Rachel away from this place, but we really can’t stay here.
Even now I can hear the sirens that are coming.
“He can’t be gone. He’s all I have.” Every word out of Rachel’s mouth will be seared into my brain forever. Her hurt rocking all of us to our core as we lose one of our own.
“You have us,” Scar promises.
