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My heart sinks to my stomach with the thought, hating myself for even thinking it and the worst of me hates her too. For putting us all in this position in the first place. For giving me enough reason to think that our friendship was always meant for nothing more than destruction.
Brielle presses her fingers to her lips as I continue to watch her, not feeling any better than a deluded stalker. Is she missing him? Thinking about the way he tasted? Wondering when the next time she will be able to kiss him again?
I squint and tilt my head. Why is she scowling?
My mouth parts open in confusion, her expression not matching her actions or her behavior with Carson only seconds ago. I can’t make sense of it as I continue to study her face as she wipes off her lips and looks up. Her eyes widen.
Oh shit.
I didn’t think about stepping back off the path to continue watching her from afar. I hadn’t made the conscious decision to reveal myself to her but now it’s too late. Her startled blue eyes stare directly at mine, widening like a deer caught in headlights as she freezes in place. She quickly drops her hand from her mouth, like she wasn’t just wiping away her boyfriend’s kiss, and she locks both her hands behind her back as she begins to rock on the balls of her feet, tilting her head slightly forward.
I cock my head to the side as I watch the odd motion. It almost reminds me of a bow, but not quite. My lips twitch as I try not to smile at her awkward antics. Brielle has always had this odd side to her that comes out in uncomfortable situations. Little quirks that she can’t help even when we’ve pointed them out to her.
It almost makes me feel like we’re on the same side again. That is, until she rushes to stop the motion and turns, fleeing in the opposite direction. I try not to let hope flare inside of me, but watching her dart away from me is so familiar that I am plunged into the past.
Pool daysat Brielle’s house are always my favorite, just me, her and the guys lounging around while we celebrate our latest successful bet. I’m actually hungover as fuck after we decided that shots were a good idea last night, but the burning sun seems to be helping heal me. I flick my eyes around the pool and smile at what I see in front of me. Vanessa, Hudson, Zaiden, and Brielle are all in the pool. Bri is on top of Hudson’s shoulders and Vanessa is on top of Z’s as they battle to get one another to fall into the pool.
Zaiden shoves Hudson as he yells out, “You’re going down, Ellie.” His hair shines even brighter than usual today as he flashes his smile at Brielle. She’s usually the only one that can ever get him to be happy and playful like this.
“Like hell,” Bri curses, kicking her long, toned leg out to splash water into his face, her action almost makes Hudson drop her, but she keeps her grip firmly on his dark wrists around her thighs and when she forces Z to choke on the water she shouts a cheer. Not caring in the slightest that she was almost eating water herself.
Vanessa gives as good as Brielle as she dips her wrists into the water, splashing both her brother and Bri, as Zaiden furrows his dark brow in protest, before diving towards them in battle.
Shaking my head in amusement, I move my eyes to the other end of the pool where Eli is swimming back and forth, his strong, muscular back, the only thing really visible as his arms dip in and out of the water as he glides across. He’s always like this after a bet, seeking solitude and calm after whatever chaos we have just caused, kinda like me I guess.
I hear Vanessa shriek as Brielle dumps her into the pool and yells out in her victory, before exclaiming she needs a drink. I need a drink myself considering how shit I feel so I pull myself up off my lounger and head towards the pool bar in the corner at the same time she does.
She bumps her hip into mine as I reach her and offers me the most stunning smile that almost causes me to stumble. Her beauty has always been obvious, but lately it’s like the only thing I can see when I look at her, and I know the other guys feel the same, but none of us do anything about it, or even talk about it.
Brielle is our friend, if one of us crossed that line with her, where would that leave the other three?
I smile back, pushing my attraction deep down inside of me, which is becoming my new normal, and grin as I grab us both a bottle of water from the fridge.
Offering it to her, I turn back and lean back against the bar just so I don’t have to stare at her, and bring my attention back to the others. Hudson and V are still thrashing around in the pool, their sibling rivalry knowing no bounds, but now that Brielle has left, Zaiden has flung himself onto the side of the pool. His arms are stretched out behind him as he flicks his gaze between the blue sky, and the girl by my side. They share a smile that even though I am used to seeing it anytime they are around one another, it hits me harder than usual as a stark reminder that it isn’t just my feelings towards her that are changing.
Not wanting to think about the fact that Brielle may one day choose one of us, or worse, none of us, I break away from the two of them and bring my stare back to Eli. His powerful arms are still striking through the water as he swims even faster than before and when I hear Brielle mutter a curse under her breath, I know she has followed my stare from Zaiden to him.
We watch him together in a comfortable silence until he reaches the side of the pool and pushes out in one swift moment, water splashing everywhere as he comes to a stand at the side of the pool and stretches upwards. I tear my eyes away only to find Brielle transfixed on him, her own eyes tracking the water as it slides down his torso towards the floor as if she is jealous of every droplet against his skin.
When I clear my throat she almost jumps out of her skin as she realizes I caught her staring at him, not just staring at him, but checking him out. I tip my head slightly trying to work out what she is thinking and instead of laughing it off like usual she freezes. Her fingers flex tightly around the bottle in her hand, and before I can say anything she rocks onto the balls of her feet, dips into a little bow and then strides off back towards the pool like she can’t wait to get away from me.
It seems we aren’t the only ones who are starting to look at one another differently, but what happens if Brielle finally makes her choice and it ruins everything?
ChapterTwelve
I tapmy pencil against my open book as I stare out the window to the bustling quad below us. For the last week, the library has been my escape. A place away from the questioning looks, the hushed whispers, and most especially from the guys.
I can’t do anything about them being in my classes, but at least there, they’ve gone back to relatively ignoring me. Only smirking or making comments to encourage the other students to openly jeer at me or make jokes at my expense. One harsh look from me is enough to stop most of them in their tracks, at least until the guys encourage them once more. A never ending, exhausting cycle of who has more power. If I had a dick, I would recommend just whipping them out to measure them and getting it over with.
Then again, if I had a dick, this never would have happened in the first place. The guys never would have thought they had to protect me as much as they did and Carson never would have even noticed me. My life would have been a lot easier. For the first time, I think I really have dick envy.
“What are you thinking so hard about?” Shelby asks, breaking me out of my reverie.
“How having a dick must be nice. So many perks,” I mutter without any real thought.
She splutters, and starts coughing as she chokes on her water. My eyes go wide and my cheeks heat as I realize I answered her honestly. I lean over and start tapping her on the back.
“You okay?” I ask with a grimace.
