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My pussy is drenched, aching to be touched, licked, fucked, but he’s not here for that, he doesn’t even notice. Doesn’t see the way my thighs are clenched so tight they are starting to throb, the fact that my nipples are so hard they hurt, and how every sound I am making isn’t a cry but a moan. I can’t hold back any longer, I slide my fingers up my thigh and beneath my skirt, grateful for my outfit and the easy access it gives me as I push my thong aside and press my thumb to my clit.
Fuck.
Just one touch and I feel like I could come. I’m already so close to the edge at just the taste of his cock, the act of this depraved need between us. I continue to bob my head back and forth at his direction and start to slide my fingers through my wetness, coating them, until I can slip one inside of me and use another to circle my clit.
I haven’t felt this alive, had this much control since school started. He might be fucking my mouth but I’m the one who decided it was going to happen. I’m the one who pushed him into forcing me to my knees. It was my choice to be here, to please him. To say fuck you to Carson and his control in the very best way possible. Every time I gag around Zaiden’s cock, I smile, silently begging for more as I fuck my own hand at his feet.
He keeps pushing and pushing, determined to get deeper and when I look up to find him watching me, I make sure to keep his stare as I relax my throat and swallow him down until my nose is against his groin. His growl is in time with my moan as I find that perfect spot inside of me and almost come from the feel of my finger against it.
“Jesus fucking Christ, Brielle,” he curses, throwing his head back. His other hand comes up to the other side of my face and he pulls back and thrusts back inside until he sets a pace so wicked that I know this is almost over. “I’m gonna come down this pretty little throat and you're going to swallow, okay?” I am already nodding, moving my fingers faster and faster, desperate to join his euphoria and when I feel his fingers tighten, and that familiar tingle at the base of my spine, I know we are about to explode.
I come first, soaking my fingers as I moan around his cock which freezes in the back of my throat stealing my breath. I barely taste his salty release as he is so deep, but still the satisfaction of making him come, of coming for him, burns me up inside and sets me alight.
His come is barely down the back of my tongue before his hand finds my throat and he pulls me to my feet by my neck. At first I think he is going to ruin this whole moment and kiss me, but he keeps his hand closed tightly, unaware of the bruises already there, and drags me towards him.
“Swallow, Sunshine. Swallow my come and then go and kiss your perfect little boyfriend with the taste of me still on your lips.” His fingers make the bruises beneath my sweater ache but still I push against his hand.
His eyes flare wide as he understands my need to be punished by him, and instead of being disgusted by me, he looks fascinated, obsessed. I watch as his stare drops to my mouth and I panic. He can’t kiss me, it will ruin everything, because I know he won’t kiss me like he just fucked my mouth. He will kiss me like he is the moon and I am the sun. His kiss would consume me, just like Elias’ did. His kiss will break me. Because as much as Carson has been able to bend me, it’s always been my four devils that have had the power to truly break me. To heal me too, but I lost that right when I lost them to save them.
I only deserve the bitterness of their brutality. This was born from hate, as much as I want it to, it can’t be something that blooms into love.
All I can do is break the moment once more. Remind him why we are both here. Release. He doesn’t notice my hand fall from beneath my skirt, so when I bring my fingers up and shove them past his lips, forcing the taste of my own release on his tongue, I take pleasure in his shock.
“And how do I taste?”
His mouth only closes around my fingers for a fraction of a second, barely enough time for him to taste my come, but he pushes me away as if I electrocuted him. He freezes as he stares at me, desire and confusion warring in his eyes. His tongue sneaks out as he chases my taste on his lips.
“Like a bitch,” he whispers, his eyes meeting mine, echoing my answer from earlier. I smirk on the outside while another piece of me dies on the inside. I never thought my first time being intimate with Zaiden, with any of them, would be all tripped up in barbed wire.
For a moment we just stare at one another, but then he huffs, grabbing his bag off the floor where he dropped it earlier and putting his mask of hatred back in place.
“Stay the fuck away from me, Brielle!”
I can barely open my mouth to respond before he is storming away and out of the door. I should let him go, should listen to his warning, but apparently this morning I have gone insane. I rush after him and by the time I make it out of the door he is halfway across the quad.
“You’re the one who followed me here, asshole! How about you stay away from me!”
My shouting makes him walk away from me even faster and I almost laugh at how ridiculous the last thirty minutes have been, but then I swallow again and find I can still taste him in my mouth.
The smile I let out now is just for me.
Fuck you Carson, fuck you and your little games. It’s time I made up some of my own rules.
ChapterTwenty-Three
My fingers danceacross my keyboard as I watch Zaide from the corner of my eye. He hasn’t been the same since he got back from his early morning workout on Sunday. The fact he even had to workout after the extra laps our coach made us run in retribution for disappearing before the game was a red flag in and of itself.
I should have known something was going on with him, but I thought that he would have gotten what he needed in the gym. No need to drag the issue out any more. Except he’s only gotten more withdrawn, more pensive. Something is eating away at him and I can’t put my finger on what.
I tried to tempt him with going out last night but he brushed me off complaining that it was Monday. That’s never stopped him before though.
I half heartedly take notes, thankful at least Ash and Eli seem to be focused on what the professor is saying. They’ll give me a copy of their notes and help me study before the test. It gives me more time to work out just what the fuck is going on with my best friend.
His eyes are carving holes in the back of Brielle’s head as she types away on her laptop, not even sparing us a glance. She hasn’t bothered since the game. She’s turned into an ice queen, turning her nose up at the rumors running rampant, refusing to meet any of our eyes, and acting as if none of us are even here.
Is it her shift in attitude that has Z so wound up? He didn’t even make a pass at her little roommate today. Something that he hasn’t missed the chance to do in front of Brielle all semester long. The little redhead keeps throwing wary glances between us and Bri. There’s definitely something I’m missing. Does she know?
I study her, debating on my chances of getting information from her. Z was able to get past her defenses easily enough, but that was before she knew who he was to Bri. Since finding out, she’s done nothing but treat all of us with contempt. Her guard is always up and she’s refused to take any of Z’s shit, staunchly supporting Brielle. I’d be impressed if it weren’t making my life all the more complicated.
