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I just couldn’t switch it off. By the time we got back to the house after we made sure Shelby made it back to the dorms okay, much to her dismay, I had pretty much sobered up completely. And my only thoughts were of Brielle. Last night was meant to be a truce, a small reprieve in our battle of wills against her, but it felt different, more. It wasn’t just a truce, it was like old times, exactly how it used to be, how it still should be.
Spending time together, having fun together, all of it so like the memories I have of her yet somehow more. Now there is this new tension there between us, one that wasn’t there before, or at least one I never acknowledged. My mind strays back to the moment she enclosed herself into my arms last night. How it felt to have her pressed up against me again. How it felt to have her stuck in between me and Ashton and how much more fun we could have had in that position if things were different.
As if my thoughts call out to him, my door creaks open and Ash pops his head inside, not surprised in the slightest that I’m awake. That’s proven even more when he slips inside slowly, holding two steaming cups of coffee, before closing the door with his foot and moving towards me.
When I raise my eyebrow at him he just shrugs as he comes up beside me. “I knew you’d be awake so thought I’d make you one.”
I take the coffee from his hand and make room for him on my bed. “How did you know I’d be awake?”
He shrugs as he takes his place beside me. “I just did.”
We sit in silence for a few minutes, both lost in our thoughts as we drink our coffees, and I take comfort in his calming presence, just like always. When Ash is done with his coffee he leans over and places his cup on my nightstand before flopping back down into a more comfortable position. He closes his eyes and I use the opportunity to study him closely.
He’s been different lately, more closed off than usual, and I know it’s because of Brielle. We always used to be able to talk to one another, but since everything happened, he has pulled away from me.
I finish my coffee and lean over him to set my own beside his, my bare chest brushing against his, and as I am pulling back I find him watching me. When I pull away and settle back onto my side, he follows suit, turning so he is facing me. I can practically see his mind working as hard as mine, all the questions and emotions swirling together.
“Just say it,” I whisper and I swear a ghost of a smile tugs at the corner of his mouth.
“Say what?”
I shake my head. “Whatever it is you came in here to say.” When he doesn’t let up I continue. “I saw your face last night, saw your smile when she was at the party, when she was between us, so just say it.” His eyes flare when I say between us, but it disappears so quickly that I can’t be sure that I didn’t imagine it.
“Fine, I don’t think she betrayed us.”
My laugh is instant as I sit up. “Oh, I’m sorry I guess I imagined the evening we spent in jail.”
He rolls his eyes at my dramatics which I guess is fair considering we never even made it out of questioning, but still, he’s pissing me off. I sit up, moving so I can climb over him but he stops me with a firm hand shoving me back down onto the bed. “Will you just listen to me just once in your life?”
“Ashton,” I warn, his palm hot and heavy against my chest. “I’m not having this bullshit conversation with you again.” I push him off me and climb from my bed, ignoring my heart as it hammers against my ribcage. “How many times am I gonna have to remind you she chose fucking Carson!” I storm from the room, suddenly unable to even look my best friend in the eye, but he is quick to follow me.
“Didn’t last night show you anything? She came, she joined us, hell, she had fucking fun. If that doesn’t prove that the old Brielle is still in there then…”
I cut him off, “She came because she had no choice! We gave her no choice, Ash. When she did have a choice, it wasn’t fucking us.” My anger is overriding anything else inside of me right now and I don’t want to take it out on him, but how can he be so naive? How can he still believe in her?
Still he persists. “Why do you keep denying that you feel it too?” I’m biting my tongue and gritting my teeth as I head down the hallway towards the kitchen but he doesn’t drop it. “I know you feel it, just admit it.”
I ignore him and make my way into the kitchen, nodding at Hudson who is already sitting at the breakfast bar eating a bowl of cereal. I grab a fresh smoothie from the fridge and when I close the door, Ashton is standing on the threshold watching me with a look of disgust.
When I continue to ignore him and turn my back to him he scoffs. “God, Elias, I didn’t realize you were such a little bitch.”
His words make me freeze in my tracks as I turn slowly towards him. “Do you want to say that again to my face?”
He steps inside the kitchen and walks towards me with calm measured steps until we are almost chest to chest, then he shoves me against the wall with the same amount of force he showed Zaiden a few weeks ago. “I said, I didn’t know you were such a little bitch,” he repeats, emphasizing each word slowly.
The blood inside my veins burns with a new found fire, something unfamiliar and strange, yet like an addiction I have never felt. With my best friend's anger filled eyes setting me alight I can barely even think straight.
It’s a struggle to get my words out but I grit my teeth again and spit, “You’re just jealous she kissed me and not you.”
“Jealous?” He scoffs. “Of you?”
His question takes me by surprise and I frown. Who else would he be jealous of? Before I can ask what the fuck he means, Zaiden enters taking in our stance. “What the fuck is going on in here?”
He scrubs a hand over his beard as if he has just woken up thanks to all the commotion and his intrusion puts out the fire that was building inside of me.
“Just Ashton showing his desperation for Brielle as usual.” I smirk, turning back to Ash. “He’s mad she didn’t choose him as one of her toys to play with.”
Now it’s Zaiden’s turn to scoff. “Please tell me you aren’t still trying to win her back to our side,” he groans. “She’s with Carson, you need to get over it, dude.”
