Page 4 of Beautiful Chaos


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I meet Luca’s eyes in the rearview mirror to see them blazing with the same barely constrained need to destroy the man slumped on the ground at my feet. He hasn’t said a word since he demanded for us to get our asses out of that hotel. I can only imagine it isn’t because he doesn’t have a whole lot to say on the events of tonight, but rather a fear of his last thread of control snapping once he opens his mouth.

Ryder sits tensely at Scarlett’s side, obviously feeling the same need to comfort her all while knowing it isn’t what she needs right now. The problem is I don’t think any of us can pinpoint what it is she does need. There’s not a single rational person in this van currently, I’m not even sure how we figure out our next step, let alone how to help Scarlett.

I’ve never felt so useless and lost. Especially not since finding her. I’ve never floundered so badly with how to anchor her back to the here and now, but I can see in her eyes that she’s being ripped into the darkest parts of her past. Drowned in the painful memories that have haunted her nightmares.

She was finally free from the restless nights, but it’s easy to see that was only a short break before they would come rearing back with a new purpose. To destroy her all over again.

Maybe I really should have just killed this man who brought her worst fears to life the moment her name passed his lips. But even with her fragile state of mind, Scarlett was right. She made the right call. We showed up here in search of leads and this man is so much more than just that. He has answers.

Luca pulls to the front of the hotel at the same time Noah, Ian, and Joe walk out the front doors with our luggage. They barely slow in stride as they spot us and head straight towards the van, waving off the valets.

As soon as the door closes behind them Scarlett speaks for the first time since we left the waiter behind. “The house on Coleman.”

Luca’s fists tighten around the steering wheel as the rest of us trade looks. It’s one of our safehouses just outside of town. We don’t have many options this far North, but none of us were exactly surprised to realize Scarlett has safehouses in every big city that often caters to these types of grand events. Bringing him there, however, is a huge surprise. One that feels like a miscalculation on her part. I know it isn’t because she trusts him. Even if I can see her grappling to understand her own feelings as she sits there silently.

“That address and every other one associated with it will be burned,” Noah says gently. His eyes locked on her warily as her whole body tightens at his words.

“I don’t see another choice.” Noah’s frown deepens at her succinct response. She doesn’t snap at him but she used her last thread of control not to do so. Kade starts to open his mouth and I already know that whatever comes out of it next will break her thinly tethered control.

I clear my throat, drawing the attention of everyone to myself before giving the address to a family estate in the area. It’s not a safe house that will be burned as soon as Charles wakes up if we choose not to kill him. It’s a property owned in the James name as my father had business here quite frequently.

Noah gives me a questioning look but I respond before he can even ask. “Charles would find out who I am as soon as he wakes up if he doesn’t already know. We aren’t losing anything by taking him there even if we do choose to let him live.”

Scarlett flinches at my words and I can’t begin to understand why. She has no remorse when eliminating threats.

Kade puts in the address and not another word is spoken as Luca heads to our new destination. Every single one of us stays on the edge of our seats as we wait for Scarlett to break. To rage. To cry. To murder him. To do anything but sit there with that distant look in her eyes.

For the first time, I’m scared to push her. Scared to make her face her feelings on this. For the first time, I feel as lost as she is.

I don’t know where we go from here.

Chapter Two Ryder

Shit hasn’t been rightsince the moment we heard someone call “Charlotte.”

It’s not a name I can even begin to associate with Scar. It’s not who she is. Charlotte was a soft, little girl, blind to the evil in her own house. She was light and joy, content to never know the secrets the shadows hide. Scar was born from the poisoned touch from those very same shadows Charlotte was oblivious too. She isn’t the same person. Not anymore. Not when she wants to leave Charlotte buried in the past. It’s not something everyone can understand. Even when we've all been through different shades of horror, it can be hard to understand. But I do. The part of me that had accepted my fate as a piece of property and was ready to die after losing Jen, resonates with why she would want to leave her past self behind her.

Almost as if by saying Charlotte also died in the fire and a monster rose from the ashes, the innocent parts of herself were laid to rest with her sisters. Like they will always have a piece of her with them and she can move forward, knowing she isn’t abandoning or forgetting them.

I don’t like someone taking that away from her. Dragging her past back up to the surface, even if there was no way they could have known what they were doing.

Kade immediately recognized who it was that called her name. He was out of his seat before the name had even fully left his lips. Before we ever heard any response from Scar or Declan. I’m surprised we have any functioning equipment left in the van because he was ready to flip tables the moment he heard his voice.

Luca immediately went into boss mode and got everyone moving so we could make a fast getaway, regardless of how the events turned out. His hands stayed fisted at his sides, even as he sent Noah, Joe and Ian to clear out any trace of our presence from the hotel room. But even as we did our best to keep it together, trying to pull up different angles of the ballroom, none of us truly knew what our next step would be.

We didn’t know how Scar would respond, what she would want us to do. Were we cleaning up a body? Blowing up a ballroom? All of the above, perhaps. I’ve gotten pretty good at being able to anticipate and meet her needs without her having to tell me. Thought we all had gotten to the point we could work flawlessly together with little communication. I don’t think I was wrong, but this situation has proven I wasn’t entirely right either. There will always be situations we aren’t prepared for, ones we couldn’t have expected or planned for.

Ones like Scar, Declan, and an unconscious body in the back of the van with us.

As always, my eyes are drawn to Scar. I knew she would be able to make it back to us in one piece. But I still as I take her in. Relief and worry simultaneously flooding through me. Not a hair is out of place. She’s as perfect as when she left the hotel room, her dress fitting her toned figure, her hair framing her angled face in a way that accentuates each of her features.

You would never know we were in survival mode based on the picture she presents. That behind the gorgeous, put-together woman, were five men absolutely losing their minds over her. But she can no longer completely hide from us. Can’t quite mask the lost and confused look in her eyes. The way she won't quite meet any of our eyes as Kade throws the body on the floor of the van.

She nods in our direction as she climbs into the back to take her seat, but keeps her gaze centered on the floor. My gut twists in reaction to her distress.

We may have come here for answers, but none of us expected to get them like this. We may need them, but at what cost? How much will be too much for her to handle?

I nudge his unconscious body with my foot and stare at him with disdain. He isn’t worthy of being what breaks my girl. Not even worthy of a crack in her armor.

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