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“Here’s the list we were working off of,” he explains as he pulls up the familiar color-coded data sheet. “This is the updated book thanks to Romano’s records.” The new list is much shorter, but not color-coded. Still too long to work through one by one. Though they should all die. Every name in that book is as good as dead as far as I’m concerned.
That will take longer though. I couldn’t buy enough cops, judges, and agents to make that many influential deaths go unnoticed. Revenge first. Housekeeping after.
How sweet it will be when they start to realize they’re being worked through, one by one. I wonder if they’ll know why they all have death knocking at their doors? Will they figure it out? Go into hiding? Wouldn’t that be fun?
I shake my head. Focus. One plan at a time.
“Are there any links between those names and CGK?”
Noah shakes his head in answer. “Not yet, anyway. I’m still going through records, but nothing has been a hit yet. It could still happen.”
“I don’t think it’s likely,” Charles adds. “Everything we recovered from CGK’s files has been embezzled finances and expenses used directly to find you. I think the only reason he used that account to purchase the house is because it was a snap decision where he didn’t have time to move his other funds around. I’d bet whatever else was there also had to do with trafficking. And of course, he would view Romano as a connection to you, but it’s still a unique situation.” He shakes his head, a million thoughts running across his face. “I can’t see him tying anyone else related to that night into his business to find you.” He gets this strained look on his face as his gaze drops to the floor. “I, umm, I don’t think he would want to share you after all the work and money he’s put into finding you.” His eyes meet mine. “He always felt like you were meant to be his.”
The sick words etch their meaning against my soul. The rightness of them making my stomach turn as icy blue eyes flash behind my eyelids. I force air in and out of my lungs. I shake my hands out and feel a semblance of calm settling over me when Luca presses against my back.
A caustic chuckle slips out as I shake my head. “I guess that’ll make it harder to get all three of them together when we do figure out their names. Me as bait is off the table.”
Luca growls behind me. “You as bait was never on the table.”
Kade gives me a mischievous grin. “You can be a meal on my table, Ladybug.”
His easy nature makes me laugh, a real one. Some of the tension bleeds out of me. “I guess we can figure that plan out once we get through this one.” I wave the words away. Maybe I can push away the negative feelings they evoke with the motion too.
Declan clicks his tongue. “What about CGK’s other records? We’ve seen they have a headquarters, warehouses, bank accounts. Is there anywhere he would have hidden the rest of the photos? Blackmail against his associates? A tell-all diary? Have we checked his home office?”
Noah and Charles begin to answer him at the same time but Noah stops and gestures for Charles to continue. He nods his thanks. “As for his home office, I’ve gone over every inch that I could. Noah helped me loop the cameras there so I could take my time. I found loads of shit I wish I could unsee, but nothing that led to the other men there that night.”
“Were there photos of me?” I demand, sharper than I intended.
The grimace on his face is more than answer enough. “I promise we will destroy all of them. Light them on fire,” he swears. He must read the question on my face I can’t force through my lips. “They held no answers, Scar,” he whispers, sounding almost as heartbroken at their existence as I do. “Just you. You and him. I don’t think he’d want a reminder of the others close to him. Those aren’t the memories he’s reliving.”
Nausea rushes through me, bright and hot. I need a way to purge these feelings slowly building up inside of me. A slow crescendo of what I know will be my own destruction if I can’t find a release. The feeling of bile rising in my throat, the burning of tears behind my eyes, the oil that slides through my veins.
Ryder is handing me a trash can before I can even fully process my body’s reaction. My hands shake as I grip it tightly, the dinner Charlene made us making a reappearance as I push my face down into the trash can.
My stomach clenches and my throat burns as the puking stops. Warm, strong hands are on my back. Someone held my hair back as I emptied the contents of my stomach. Even after purging everything, I feel sick as Charles’ vile words play on repeat in my mind.
There’s a hissed argument on the other side of the room and I look up to find Luca and Charles angrily exchanging words. Well, one of them is angry, the other is ashen.
I sigh, feeling even more exhausted than I did just a moment ago. Noah pushes a wet paper towel into my face, forcing me to turn to him. He takes his time wiping my face of the tears, and snot, and saliva, and puke. It’s a wonder these men still love me after all the different ways they’ve seen me.
Declan is right behind Noah with a glass of water, which I take gratefully. Before it even reaches my mouth, Ryder lifts the trash can up again. I smile as I rinse my mouth out several times and spit it into the trash can he so helpfully holds for me. Kade’s hands never leave my back.
It’s this support that gives me the strength to wave away Luca’s anger, to push Charles’ words from my mind. My thought of Roe’s innocence from earlier comes back to me. It’s too late to get my innocence back, it’s not something I want back, but maybe I have more light in my life than I realized. Maybe these moments give me back something even better than innocence.
“I’m fine, Bossman. Promise.” I push the trash can away and move away from it to plop down on the couch Rachel and Jade usually prefer when they’re here. I miss them. I wish they were here for this, but at the same time I’m glad they didn’t see me lose it like that. It’s bad enough Rachel saw my mental breakdown over Romano.
Declan and Luca claim the spots on either side of me and D holds out a piece of gum for me. I take it with a nod of thanks and toss it in my mouth immediately. The water was nice, but I won’t feel better until I brush my teeth.
“Back to what Declan was saying. What about the warehouses or headquarters?”
Noah and Charles exchange looks, this time Noah takes the lead. “There are a lot of potential places to hide records or other things. There’s nothing to indicate one place as more likely than another and it would take us ages to go through one by one. With no guarantee we wouldn’t miss a hidden safe in any of the places. It would be like finding a needle in a haystack when there are hundreds of haystacks.”
I groan and lean my head against D’s shoulder. “Course it couldn’t be easy.”
Luca sways in his spot next to me, I can see the vein in his neck twitching as he contemplates something. I settle more firmly against Declan and lift my feet into Luca’s lap. He rests his hands over my legs, gently squeezing as he works through whatever he’s struggling with.
“We just have to make most of the haystacks disappear,” he says suddenly. “Until there’s only one.”
