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“Hell no,” I murmur, shifting back against my pillows. “The Price Pussy Palace is closed for renovations. You realize I’ve been pregnant for two years straight, right?”
“Of course, I do,” she replies. “I ran out of creative mocktail ideas a year ago.”
“God, I want a drink,” I say with a sigh. “I wanna get trashed on shitty wine and dance in the kitchen knowing no one else inside my body is getting poisoned or jostled.”
“We can make that happen,” she replies. “Leave the babies with your boys, and you come over to my house for a rosé and sway party in my kitchen. We’ll strip down to our undies and eat whipped cream straight from the can.”
I laugh. “God, that sounds amazing.”
“When do they get back?”
I tap my phone, lighting up the last text on my lock screen. “They’re on the way.”
As soon as Tess arrived, I made them all leave. They’ve been toughing it out for almost a week here at the hospital. But they needed showers and clean clothes, and I needed space. My hospital room looks like the aftermath of a slumber party with all the added chair and blankets, open duffle bags, empty drink bottles, and food containers.
Not to mention, my boys all shed socks like Tess sheds hair. Even now, I see one on the floor. God, who was in here taking his socks off? It’s so unsanitary. I just shake my head with another tired sigh. I can’t help but love them, socks on or off.
“Geez, your guys are slobs,” Tess says, looking around.
“Only because they were distracted,” I reply, which is mostly true. Ilmari in particular is a neat freak. But a bedridden wife and a sick baby has him all spun out right now. I’m sure he went home and feverishly cleaned while the others showered.
The socks thing though…that’s been a staple argument in our house for three years. Jamie isn’t even one yet, and even he adds to the mayhem. I find his cute little baby socks mixed in with theirs all over the place.
Tess gets up and starts to organize the room, shuffling the trash into the big can by the door. “Does No Name finally get a name today?”
I nod. “We should get the paternity test results back this afternoon.”
The guys all agreed when I was pregnant with Jamie that the bio dad would get to name the baby. I came home from work one night to find them all sitting stoically at the kitchen table, the soft golden light casting shadows all around like something out of an oil painting. They were so serious as they sat me down too. I swear, for a quick second there, I thought they were breaking up with me.
Instead, they walked me through their reasoning for letting the bio dad pick the baby’s name. I was so relieved—and hormonal—that I broke down crying and Jake had to calm me down with ice cream while Cay rubbed my feet.
Before Tess can respond, there’s a sharp tap at the door. My nurse comes in, heading to the sink to wash her hands. She’s a lovely older black lady with kind eyes and a big smile. “Hey, mama. How’s our boy doin?”
“Good,” I say, shifting him a bit in my arms. “All he does is sleep.”
“That’s good. A well fed, sleepy baby is what we like to see. His tests all look great,” she adds. “The jaundice has cleared beautifully. And you’ve been okayed too. Doc is ready to discharge you both.”
“Yay,” says Tess, coming around to sit in the chair again.
“And we have the paternity test results back,” Nurse Kelly adds, her gaze locked on her tablet as she flicks and taps the screen.
Tess and I both go still, exchanging a glance.
“I…umm, well my guys aren’t back yet,” I say quickly. “I don’t really want to know without them being here too.”
“Ohmygod,” Tess cries, digging her fingers into her curls. “I’ve been waiting nine months for this, Rachel! I can’t wait any longer.”
I slow turn to her, eyes narrowed. “You have a bet on this too, don’t you?”
Her pouty pink lips open as she bats those lashes at me. “I—no—”
Yeah, she’s a little liar. I’m sure the whole team has bets going. They did with Jamie too. If I wasn’t so tired, I’d have the energy to be more annoyed.
At least everyone is acting in good faith. They’re just excited to welcome the new baby. The Rays have been amazing. Sure, there were questions in the beginning.Lotsof questions. The guys took most of that heat. But once we were all married and the deal was done, everyone settled. We’re Team Price now, and no one who knows us bats an eye.
Tess huffs, arms crossed under her breasts. “Fine. Okay, yes. I’m in the pool, alright? I didn’t win the due date bet. But I could still make a little money on the paternity results.”
“How big is the pool?” I say, handing Lil No Name over to the nurse.
