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“I didn’t know. It was before I found out about the affair.”
“He’s in love with you?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Tell me he’s not the man you were talking about earlier.”
I can’t speak. My mouth is suddenly dry. Yes. He’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to spend my life with.
“That’s why you’re so upset.”
Oh, Mum, you don’t even know the half of it.
She turns away from me and purses her lips as she watches the technician get back to work. I continue watching my mother, waiting, but we finish having our treatments in silence. Anna’s friend leaves as soon as her nails are finished; she looks like she can’t get away fast enough. I wonder whether that’s because the tension around us is palpable, or whether she’s desperate to get out of here and share her new gossip.
We leave the salon and if I had driven my own car, I would drive away from this mess. But my mother drove, so I’m walking behind her and Anna like the black sheep again.
The manager of the French restaurant my mother has already chosen holds open the door and welcomes her and Anna by name, kissing them on both cheeks.
“I’m afraid I had to move you over here,” he says, guiding us to a table set for three. “Your preferred table is only for two.”
Wow, even people I don’t know want to kick me in the gut today.
“That’s fine, thank you,” my mother says, still not acknowledging my presence but taking a seat at the table.
We look over the menus on the blackboards around the Parisian-feel bistro, still in silence. My mother orders a bottle of Burgundy without asking my preference.
“Are you going to ignore me for the rest of the day?” I snap, unable to keep a lid on my temper.
She raises her eyes to me but doesn’t speak.
“You’re the one who kept everything from me, Mum. How was I to know Laytons are forbidden?”
She puts down the piece of bread she’s picked out of the basket in the middle of the table. “This isn’t just about the Laytons. This is about my daughter sleeping with a practically married man.”
I open my mouth to retort but her words resonate. She’s right. It was reckless to sleep with Clark. I was stupid to fall even deeper for him than I already had. I was an even bigger fool for believing he wanted me and that I wasn’t just a rebound.
“For what it’s worth, we’re not together, and I’ve hurt no one more than myself.”
She glances at me, her eyes fleetingly full of sympathy, then she looks away to taste the wine brought to the table.
I stay and eat the coq au vin I’ve ordered, but I don’t drink the wine. There’s only one place I’m going from here and that’s home, with another rip in my heart because I let myself believe I could have my mother back.
