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He has no idea.
“I’m okay, thanks, Spence. How are you?”
He responds, but I don’t hear him. I’m watching Clark make his way towards us. My blood pumps harder. My chest tightens. I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.
He moves in to me, his hand on the small of my back, his scent filling my nose. “Can we talk?”
Rachel is off her stool and moving between us, planting her hand on Clark’s chest. “Whoa, whoa, Clark, leave her alone, alright? We’re having a night out to take her mind off everything. She doesn’t need this.”
He looks from Rachel to me. “You don’t have to. I don’t want to upset you.”
That lump I’ve become too familiar with is back in my throat, and I can’t speak past it, so I nod. I see Teddy rise from his seat in the distance, but I hold up a hand to tell him it’s fine. My protectors are out in force. Maybe I’m not as alone as I’ve let myself believe.
We move to a corner of the rooftop where it’s quieter but where the heaters aren’t as effective. I fold my arms across me, and before I can rub my skin, Clark’s blazer is over my shoulders. “Thank you.”
He’s looking down on me, despite my heels. “I just want to know how you are.”
“How do you think I am?” I snap and instantly regret it. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’ve been through the mill. Thanks to my family.”
I glance away from him because I can’t bring myself to look when I say, “My father hurt your family, too.”
He scoffs. “It doesn’t compare, Dayna. So I appreciate the sentiment, but you don’t have to apologise.”
I find myself watching my toes curling in my peep-toes, because I can’t look in his eyes. It’s too painful, too dangerous. “I, ah, I didn’t bid. I guess you know that.”
He lifts my chin. “Don’t look down, baby. You’re not that woman.”
My breath catches at his use of the word “baby”, or maybe at the force of those silver-blue eyes.
I’ve had a drink. Too much to drink. I have to get out of this situation.
“I know, and I’m pleased. It must have been hard for you to withdraw. I know how much the well meant to you, but I… I couldn’t protect you the way I wanted. This is for the best. Kahn got his well, and he paid way over a safe price for it.”
I nod twice. “He’ll make a loss.”
“It’s not enough for you, is it?”
“I can’t answer that, Clark, not for you.”
“Because now you want revenge against him and my father.”
I don’t speak. Clark takes his hand from my chin, and I feel absurdly bereft at the loss of contact.
“For what it’s worth, I’ve quit the business. I’ve cut every tie I can with him. If you… if you wanted to try to press charges against him…”
I pull his jacket off my shoulders and throw it at him. “I always fall for it, don’t I? You want to know if I’m going to press charges, Clark? No. Think about it. If I had evidence against Kahn, I would have used it by now. Every research study about the explosion says my father is to blame. It rubs his name in the dirt, says he was a cost-cutter who killed people. I’d like to see your father behind bars. More than that, I’d like to rip his fucking head off. But I can’t. So there’s the answer to your question, now fuck off back out of my life.”
I barge past him, only to be pulled back, his grip so tight on my arm it hurts. “That’s not what I’m doing, Dayna. Listen to me.”
I glance around, feeling the stares from people around us.
“I want nothing to do with him. I’ve walked. I’ve left everything I’ve ever known and worked for because I hate who he is and I hate what he’s done. I came to talk to you to see how you are.”
I struggle, trying to pull away but he keeps hold of me. “Now you know, Clark. I’m better off without you and your fucking shit. I already knew you left Layton Oil. It’s industry gossip.”
In a flash, Teddy is between us, pushing Clark away from me and pulling back his fist. Clark does nothing to defend himself; he just looks at me.
