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AFTER THE GYM, I picked up a box of Budweiser, had a quick shower, and now I’m walking the short distance from my apartment to Jay’s. I can’t do much about the joint venture tonight. After fighting with Teddy over it, again, I’m done. After everything — the weekend, going out of my mind wanting Dayna, finding her in a heap after Caspar threatened her, a flight home thinking about nothing but Dayna and whether a joint venture would really mean we couldn’t be together — I’m spent. I want a cold beer, and my best friend, if he’ll still call himself that, likes cold beer. I’ve figured I need to work on my other issues. Dayna’s right; I’ve got a lot of fucking mess to wade through, whether fixing it means she’ll have me or not. Mending my relationship with Jay might as well be number one on my list.
I dip my head to Andy, the stocky concierge in Jay’s building, and hand him one of the Buds. “Pass me up, Andy?”
“Sure thing, Clark.”
I could have called Jay or hit the intercom, but I’m going for the element of surprise. It’s after nine on a Wednesday night. Chances are he’s home, and I want to look him in the eye if he sends me away.
I knock on his apartment door then lean to one side, out of view of the peephole. As he opens the door, I move in front, one hand resting on the frame, the other holding up my friendship offering.
He’s in sweats and a t-shirt, his hair wet. He stares me down, neither of us speaking. I bite down on the inside of my cheeks, waiting. Eventually, he moves away from the door. He doesn’t invite me in exactly, but he leaves the door open as he heads to the kitchen.
I follow him, planting the box of lager down on the kitchen bench. He rests back against the oven, and I watch him from the other side of the work surface.
“I didn’t go to Verbier with Camilla Normen, and I didn’t fuck her.”
He unfolds his arms and steps forwards to take a Bud from the box. “I know. Connie told me.”
I take a beer for myself and put the rest in the fridge while Jay opens both bottles. We stand in the kitchen, both resting back on the units, both taking a glug.
“She also made me promise not to let your monumental fuck up come between us.”
I lift my head quickly. Connie might have saved my friendship. “How is she?”
“How do you think?”
“I really didn’t want to hurt her, Jay. I swear that’s the last thing I’d want to do. Whether she realises it or not, I did what I did to protect her, from me. I don’t want to be the guy who breaks her heart years from now, and I think I would have.”
He takes a swig of beer and walks past me to the open-plan lounge. He throws himself into a chair and lobs a foot up onto the coffee table. He hits the remote and unpauses a rugby game he must have already been watching.
I follow him and sit on the sofa, kicking off my trainers and putting my feet on the coffee table.
“You look like hell, by the way,” Jay tells me.
I scoff into my bottle. “You don’t look like a fucking portrait yourself.”
He laughs. It’ll take a while, but I might just get my friend back.
“You gonna tell me who you were in Verbier with?”
“Teddy invited Spencer and me.” I shake my head and run a hand through my hair. “He didn’t tell me I was crashing Dayna’s birthday.”
“Dayna Cross?”
I nod, exhaling heavily.
“Fuck.”
I lean my head back against the sofa and close my eyes. “Don’t ask if you don’t want to know, Jay.”
“You slept with her.”
It’s a statement, not a question, but I still say yes. “I’m losing my fucking mind.”
“And this is the truth? This is why you ended things with Connie?”
“I love Connie. She’s amazing. But Dayna… she’s in my fucking head all the fucking time… she makes me crazy.”
“Were you ever like that with Connie?”
