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The grin that pulls on her face lifts her cheeks. ‘Go tell her.’
I shake more hands and thank people as I leave. When I’m finally free of the boardroom, my strides turn to a jog. I leave Lexington Tower and run to Edmond’s place.
I’m panting when I pull open the door to the restaurant. The kitchen looks busy, and staff are already behind the bar and setting tables, but the first diners aren’t yet in.
The restaurant manager, Beatrice, is looking at a computer screen at the hostess station.
‘Drew. Are you okay?’
‘Yeah. I think so.’ I’m about to put myself out there and see whether the woman I don’t think I can live without feels the same.
I rub my hand across my chin, suddenly wondering whether this is insane. I could lose her. I could scare her away and I don’t think I can take it.
‘You look pale, Drew. Do you want water?’
I shake my head. I also can’t keep going with this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. The hell of not knowing.
‘Could you get Becky for me?’
‘She isn’t here. Some kind of emergency came up this afternoon.’
‘Emergency? Is she okay?’
‘I’m not sure what happened. I think maybe she was sick. Edmond sent her home.’
My thoughts are so erratic, it takes me a beat to process the conversation. ‘So, she’s at her apartment?’
‘I believe so.’
I release my held breath. ‘Okay.’
Well, if she’s sick, that’s not ideal, but in the history of mankind there must have been declarations of love less timely.
I thank Beatrice and outside the restaurant I flag a cab.
I thought waiting for the partnership vote was agonizing. That was before I sat in this cab, going over the words I want to say to Becky. Everything sounds ridiculous, or just not enough to make her understand how I feel.
‘Can we make this any faster?’ I ask the driver.
‘Sorry, man, it’s seven thirty. This is Manhattan.’
Tell me something I don’t know. The night seems to get warmer as we sit in traffic. I loosen my tie, then take it off and undo the top buttons of my shirt. When we’re a few blocks from Becky’s place, I can’t bear the waiting any longer. I pay the driver and walk the rest of the way.
I slip through the door to her building behind another tenant and go up to Becky’s floor. I’m frantically trying to string words together, and I’m still trying when I knock on her apartment door.
‘Drew.’ She opens the door in yoga pants and a sweater. She’s surprised but doesn’t look sick.
‘Hi.’
She steps into the hallway and pulls the door shut behind her. ‘I thought you were at the partners’ meeting.’
My brow furrows as I consider the closed door, but I concentrate on her, on getting out the words I need to say.
‘I am. I was. I got voted in.’
Her face breaks into a smile and my entire body aches to hold her. ‘I’m so happy for you, Drew.’
I force my arms to stay by my sides and take a calming breath.
