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Ava snickered. “That makes a lot of sense now. At the time, I thought he just hated me.”
“Nah, they never hated you,” I said.
She was quiet for a long time. “Yeah, I remember when I got older, Dante was really protective of me, so I guess you’re right. It just always felt like the three of you were super close and I was set apart as the baby, or maybe because I was the girl.”
“I think the age difference definitely affected things,” I said. She was right though, my brothers and I used to be super close. I always adored Ava and we were all protective of her, but it was hard to bring an eight-year-old into some of the activities we were involved in as teens.
“You miss them, don’t you?”
I looked over at Ava. “Of course. Don’t you?”
“All the freaking time,” she said. “Every time Roman calls, I’m tempted to pick up. Speak of the devil…”
She pulled out her phone and stared down at it.
“You know you can answer it if you’d like to,” I told her. “I never said you couldn’t have a relationship with them just because I chose not to.”
“I know it’s my choice but considering the field I’m going into and all that, I can’t be associated with their activities, but—”
“But they’re still your brothers.”
She nodded and sighed as the ringing stopped.
“I’m going to head to bed, it’s been a wild night.”
It suddenly hit me; she’d been out on a date. She got home pretty quickly, which wasn’t a good sign.
“Bad date?” I asked.
She groaned and rolled her head back against the couch. “I don’t get how these grown ass men can be so fragile. Once he found out I was going to be a lawyer, he clearly became uncomfortable because he said, and I quote, he was ‘looking to be the breadwinner in the family’. Like dude, we aren’t even talking about marriage yet, but what a red flag.”
“None of that will matter once you find the right guy, I promise.”
“If he even exists,” she said with a sigh. “Oh well, I think I’m going to lay off dating for a bit and get back to focusing on my degree.” She stood up and headed toward the stairs.
“I’m proud of you, Ava.”
Those words stopped her in her tracks. I knew that Dad had never uttered that phrase to her, not even once. He never did to any of us.
But I wasn’t my dad. I was working on being better than my father, which meant being a better person to everyone, especially to my sister who’d been through plenty of shit alongside me.
She smiled. “Thanks, Gabe. I’m proud of you too.”
Ava knew my past, knew there was a lot for me to be ashamed of, but what was important was I knew I had come out ahead. I knew I had a lot to be proud of, even if our dad could never see it or say the words.
“Thanks, sis,” I said. “Sleep well.”
She headed upstairs.
Deciding to check on Bella before heading to bed myself, I walked down to the end of the hallway. I knocked gently on her door, which wasn’t closed all the way, and it opened enough for me to see that the room was empty.
She had free rein of the house, was free to go wherever she wanted, so I didn’t think too much of it. But I knew I wasn’t ready to fall asleep. There was too much going on in my head. Truth was, I knew that I was seeking her out not simply to check in on her, but because I enjoyed her company.
I walked back down the hallway and wondered where she could be. A smile stretched across my face as it became obvious.
The library.
As soon as I entered, I saw her on one of the large, overstuffed couches, a book laid open on her chest. Her eyes were closed and every once in a while, a quiet snore escaped from her.
