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“And you’re sure it’s not pregnancy hormones fucking with both of you?”
“We’re sure,” we both said at the same time.
“Well, I mean, you don’t need my permission to date, so I’m not sure what this meeting is all about.” There was a dryness to her tone. Ava stared down at her plate as she pushed the food around on it. It reminded me of when she was young and I told her I was moving out to pursue my other interests, back when I had moved to California for a short while. She later told me that she felt abandoned, like the only person in the family who cared about her was leaving her behind. It had broken something inside of me to know that she had felt that way.
I didn’t want her to feel that way again.
I tried to find the words to reassure her. “Ava, we’re not here to ask permission. We’re telling you because we both love you, and we don’t want you to feel like your feelings were never considered in any of this. They have been, and we want to reassure you that we will both always love you and be there for you, no matter what.”
“And what happens if you split up? Am I just supposed to choose between my best friend and the only family I really have?” Tears welled up in Ava’s eyes, but she wiped them away and held her head up high. “I’m trying not to be selfish here, I want you both to be happy. I do. I’m just—”
“You’re scared. I know that feeling all too well. You’re scared of losing yet more people you love, but I can assure you, Ava, as your big brother, I’m not going anywhere, ever. No matter what happens between Bella and me, we will never make you choose between us.”
Bella added, “We’re all adults here, Ava. And no matter what happens between Gabe and me, we have four little lives depending on us being civil and at the very least, co-parenting amicably. We will make it work, and like Gabe said, we will never make you choose or desert you.”
Ava looked across the table at the two of us. Both Bella and I seemed to wait with bated breath for her to say something, anything. She took a few moments to gather her thoughts. “I appreciate the two of you coming to me and talking to me. I’m happy for you both, I really am. I would love nothing more than for the two of you to have your babies and raise them together, happily ever after. I’m just nervous,” she said. “But I know you’re both good people, and I trust you to not tear our family apart.”
I felt my lips peel back in the biggest smile ever. Jumping up from the table, I rushed over to my sister, pulling her up into a hug.
Once our embrace ended, Ava went over to where Bella was sitting and hugged her best friend. There were some tears shared between them but from what I could make out, they were happy tears. I heard Ava tell Bella, “I’m so happy for you, I know how much you’ve wanted this.”
My heart swelled inside of my chest, knowing that my family—the family I had carved out for myself—was strong. Nothing could tear us apart.
17
Bella
Thirty-one weeks. With quads, it was normal to deliver at the thirty week mark, and while it scared me that we weren’t going to make it to forty, or at least a bit closer, my doctors all assured me that it was best for the babies to be delivered then. We had a scheduled C-section where there would be a lot of medical staff on hand. Not just the obstetrician for myself, but a doctor for each one of the babies too, including the heart specialist for our little boy with the defect.
The night before the procedure, I was anxious as hell. I was excited to meet our children but scared too. They were safe inside of me, still growing, and soon they would be pulled out into the world and placed in incubators until they were big enough and strong enough to come home. It could take months.
I couldn’t walk upstairs to see the nursery for myself, but Gabe wanted me to know it was ready and waiting for our little ones. He video called me from the room.
“Aww the little monkey lamp is so adorable!” I said. “You didn’t tell me about that.”
“It was a surprise,” Gabe said, grinning from ear-to-ear.
He moved the camera around the room. It was painted light green with trees and little monkeys swinging from the branches. The cribs were lined up against the far wall, matching the color of the trees so they blended in very nicely. There were two changing tables and a nice, large sofa along with a rocking chair for when we were taking care of the babies, or in case we wanted to sleep in there with them.
“It’s perfect,” I said, tears filling my eyes as I pictured our children in the cribs or playing on the floor when they got older. Our children. I would be there with them, to raise them. I hadn’t planned on being a mom when I originally agreed to be Gabe’s surrogate, but I couldn’t be happier.
Gabe had gone all out on the nursery and every gadget you could think of was there. From diaper systems to bottle warmers to top-notch cameras and baby monitors, he really did try to think of everything we might need. I couldn’t ask for a better father for my children.
I yawned and checked the time. We had to be up super early to get to the hospital, to get checked in and everything settled before the procedure. Gabe saw my yawn and said, “I’ll be right there.”
Since we’d had the talk with Ava and had decided to take our relationship to the next level, Gabe had been sleeping beside me. He also helped me to shower, to get dressed, and other daily tasks that were no longer easy for me to do. He could have had staff help me but no, he was always there by my side helping me with whatever I needed.
Within a few minutes, there was a knock on the door.
“Gabe, you really don’t need to knock anymore,” I said with a laugh.
He came inside the room with a sheepish look on his face. “Probably not, but I just want to get your permission before entering your private space.”
“Such a gentleman, but seriously, come here.”
He stepped over to the side of the bed and kissed me. Thankfully I had done everything I needed to do before the tour of the nursery, so we could just go to sleep now. He climbed into bed beside me and wrapped his big, strong arms around me. I would never grow tired of being held by him.
“Tomorrow is a big day, huh?” I said, tired but unable to sleep.
