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Gabe
Seeing Bella on the table, draped in sheets and prepped for surgery made it all so real. This was it; I was going to be a dad.
It felt like time was racing by but also standing still. The moment I heard them say, “It’s a boy!” my heart raced. A moment later, we heard cries and Bella’s eyes filled with tears as our first child, a son was shown to us.
He was so unbelievably tiny, it was scary to see him. How could he survive being that small out in the world? I suddenly understood Bella’s desire to keep them safely inside of her, at least until they were larger and healthier.
We only got a few seconds with our little boy, but we were told his heart sounded healthy and fine. He was not the one with the defect. Our little Elio, a name we’d only picked the night before, but it already felt so right for him. He was rushed away, out of sight, and it broke my heart to see Bella’s face as they whisked our son away. We didn’t get to hold him like many parents get to do because he needed to be in the NICU.
I squeezed Bella’s hand, trying to bring comfort to her, knowing that she wanted nothing more than to hold the baby that had been growing inside of her for months.
I kissed her forehead. “I’m sorry, honey, we will get to hold them soon,” I said.
“It’s a girl,” one of the nurses called out, peeking behind the curtain with a smile. “And she looks healthy.”
“Good, our little Lucy,” Bella said with a smile, already having a nickname for Lucia picked out.
We could hear her crying, and we got to see her for a brief moment. Slightly bigger than her brother, but still so very tiny. So fragile and delicate. She was whisked away just like Elio.
“Soon, Bella,” I said, squeezing her hand and taking a few deep breaths. My own cheeks were wet with tears. I knew it would be an emotional experience, but I had no idea it would affect me the way it did. I couldn’t even remember the last time I cried, but being there as my babies were born was one of the best, most emotional experiences of my life.
“Another girl,” the nurse said with a smile. “She looks to be doing good too.”
They showed us our second little girl, who was around the same size as her sister.
“Our little Ariana,” I whispered, even more tears streaming down my face.
“Sweet Ari,” Bella whispered.
She disappeared from our sight.
“Almost there,” I said. “One more to go.”
Vincent. Our little fighter. The one who would need the most help after birth, who might even need heart surgery. Neither Bella nor I said anything as we waited for confirmation that he was born.
It took longer than the other three. We heard voices, frantic voices.
“Is everything okay?” I called out.
No response. Just more frantic voices.
“Is he okay? Is our baby okay?” Bella’s eyes grew wide.
The nurse popped her head back over to us. “A little boy,” she said.
No crying. No sound from him whatsoever.
“Is he okay?” I repeated louder.
As she opened her mouth to answer, we heard the most beautiful sound in the world—Vincent’s first cries. The nurse smiled widely and showed us Vincent, the smallest of the babies. He was so tiny.
Then just like that, he was taken away from us too.
“Congratulations, Mama,” the nurse said. “Two boys, two girls, and they look to be doing fine.”
“Even Vincent?” Bella asked.
“All of them,” the nurse replied, likely unsure of which one was Vincent. “The last baby, as you know, has a hole in his heart. He is being looked after by the heart specialist now, but he’s crying and appears as healthy as can be expected.”
