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We have a good time eating. The food is filling. Brenna and I decide to get some desserts. Red velvet cake that melts in my mouth, donuts, and some kind of crumble pie.
Needless to say, I am miserable but okay with it. Taking Noah’s hand, we follow Brenna and Abel out of the garden. The walk back to the inn will be much slower than the one coming.
If today is any indication of how this trip is going to go, I can’t wait to see what’s next.
Chapter15
Brenna
Waterford, Ireland. A short two hour drive and we're here. On today's itinerary is a tour of the Waterford Crystal Factory, being Mara's and my choice, of course. Let's hope my man-child of a husband can keep his hands to himself and not break anything. Then for the boys, we're doing a tour of Waterford's Treasures Medieval Museum and Bishop's Palace Museum. Lots of historical toys for the boys. Somewhere in the middle of all the touring, I’ve planned a picnic at Mahon Falls in the heart of Comeragh Drive. Little do my people know, there is a hike involved. They may beat me to death with rocks, but it'll be well worth it. Or at least I hope.
"Now remember, Abel, no touching. This isn't a cheap ass toy store. You break it, you buy it."
Mara gives Abel her best mom speech, and she's rewarded with an over the top eye roll. I smack him and tell him to listen to her for once. The only thing he'll be buying here is an item of my choosing, and I'd prefer it not to be broken. Abel has a thing about touching everything in stores. We seriously have a toddler on our hands, people.
Everything is super gorgeous, and I can't stop the oohs and aahs from falling out of my mouth. The boys look bored as hell, but Mara joins me in my appreciation of everything shiny.
Noah sees the gleam in Mara's eyes, and as politely as possible, he says, "I love you, my gorgeous wife, but just remember Daddy isn't rich. Let's keep our purchase in the low hundreds if possible?"
Abel and I instinctively think the same thing, but I'm the first to blurt it out, "Daddy? Did you just call yourself Daddy? Well, shit, I'm oddly turned on by that."
Smack.
"Get your mind out of that daddy gutter right now, heffa! Noah, when are you going to learn to think before you speak, my love? Especially around dumb and dumber!"
Mara has a damn good bitch slapping hand. My arm is stinging from that one, but I kind of deserved it, so I'll give it to her. Just for a second—could you even begin to imagine if Mara chose Abel over Noah as her man? Oh my god! There would definitely be a homicide involved, and Mara would get her wish of death upon Abel. They really do love each other, I swear it. Then again, she'd be in an orange jumpsuit for the rest of her days, so maybe not such a good wish, after all.
An hour or so into our browsing, we find out you can have personalized items made, right here in the factory. Mara and I decide to get matching crystal hearts with our wedding date etched into the crystal. The boys even get a little misty eyed at the finished product.
"Okay, ladies. It's time for the badass shit now. Off to see swords and guns!" Abel yells. Yes, he even makes his fingers into an imaginary gun, complete with the pew pew sound. Boys and their toys. The town knew what they were doing for their tourism hotspots because everything is a skip, hop, and a jump from one another.
Stepping into the museum, it's like you're stepping into a different era. I must say, like Abel stated, it's badass. Things aren't made the same way anymore. Everyone is in a big rush to make quick cash. You can see the time and detail that was put into each and every piece here, and it's spectacular.
"Bow down to your king or suffer my wrath!" Abel says, as he taps both my shoulders with the tip of a very sharp medieval sword. Maybe bringing him here was a mistake? He seems a little too enthused about his new, very real toy.
"Have mercy on me, my king. I'll do whatever you ask of me." I play along, and the look in his eyes tells me he's turned on. Oh, and I forgot to mention, I'm on my knees in a praying stance. I hope he doesn't think I'm down for some kinky knife play. I like spicing up our sex life, but I draw the line at bleeding for it.
Mara sees our role playing going on, and with laughter lacing her voice, says to me, "Oh, for Christmas sake, heffa! You're going to give the man a dang heart attack. Plus, there's children present. Get up and I'll buy you something shiny?"
She knows shiny things are the way to my heart. Also, who cares if people are staring, wondering why she's coddling a grown woman. Welcome to the circus, people.
I think we've done enough damage here. Mentally and expense wise. We came prepared to cause damage to our bank accounts. I scrimped and saved every dime I could. This trip is the most special adventure of a lifetime, and I wanted to spare no expense and not have to worry about what we could afford to do.
Bishop's Palace Museum is next. We decided to grab a quick snack and make our picnic an early dinner instead, wanting to see the sunset at Comeragh Drive. I hear it's an unforgettable one. Plus, Abel and I have some smexy time planned, if you know what I mean? I wasn't lying when I said we plan on christening each town we stop in. What more romantic place than a waterfall at sunset? Abel had to harass Mara with that info, so she told me to take pics of the waterfall. I think her exact words were,"I'd rather drink bleach than see you two humping like rabbits."I guarantee Noah will get frisky with her when we're out of sight, so she's going to be eating her own words.
"This place is unreal! I can't believe we're so damn lucky to be able to see all these wonderful places together. I love you, heffa. I love all of you. Yes, even you, goofy Gus."
Mara is currently in her feels, as you can tell. She ruffles Abel's hair, after calling him goofy, and he thumps his leg like a happy little pup. Our freak flag is waving proudly today. Not sure Ireland knew what they were getting into when they let us step foot on their land. We're harmless, really.
The Bishop's Palace is so cool. Mara was right when she said it's unreal. So much history here. The best part for me is seeing the mourning cross that Napoleon Bonaparte wore, and it even has a lock of his hair displayed next to it. Creepy? Maybe to some, but I think it is absolutely fascinating. Then again, I'm the girl who loves long walks in cemeteries, horror movies, and ghost hunting shows. So calling me creepy is a compliment in my book. The only exception is that hell bitch Samara from The Ring movies. She can kick rocks for all I care.
"Heffa! Look at the china and crystal. Oh! Look at the wallpaper! Baby Jesus in a manger, what I wouldn't have given to live a few days in the 18th century. Do you think anyone would notice if I took just a teeny tiny piece of wallpaper with me?"
Ummm…seriously?
"Remember what we agreed on, my innocent little flower? No visits to the pokey while we're here? That would get you in a jail cell real quick, so let's not press our luck, shall we? Knowing my mouth, I'd end up in there with you. No, thank you, ma'am."
Mara agrees that staying on the right side of the law is a better idea, so we go hunt the boys down to see if they're ready to head up to Comeragh Drive. I'm ready to eat and have some alone time with my husband. It's been a long day, and eating, relaxing, and cuddles sounds like a perfect ending to a perfect day.
