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"Have I mentioned how much I love Ireland? This is beyond everything! If we ever renew our vows, Abel, this is where I want to do it. It's like a hidden gem in heaven."
I've always been fascinated with the majestic nature of waterfalls. It may sound stupid, but they bring out the kid in me. The one who believes in unicorns and pots of gold at the end of rainbows. Mara and I hug while the boys splash each other. We all feel it right now, and it's the best. I love that we're all creating unforgettable memories together that we can look back on years from now.
We spend another hour just hanging out and enjoying the nature and beauty of the waterfall and woods, then make our way back to town. The time got away from us, so no naps will be had before the Ghostbus tonight. Caffeine is a must, so Mara and I head over to a little cafe outside the meet-up area for the tour.
"This caramel triple shot cappuccino is straight nectar from the caffeine gods! I think I'm going to need another for the bus."
Mara just laughs, knowing if I have a second cup, I'm going to pee myself, and I'm pretty sure the other participants on the tour won’t support that.
"One is enough, heffa! This coffee is a lot stronger than our stuff back home. I swear, I can feel hair growing on my chest from it already. Plus, there's no bathroom on board, and we all know you have a baby bladder."
See? What did I tell you? The wise one knows all, dammit.
"You're right, oh wise one. Let's get back before they leave without us. I have ghosts to hunt."
The sheer excitement I have for this tour is ridiculous. I live for all things spooky and out of the ordinary. Halloween isn't just a holiday for me, it's a damn lifestyle. We find our seats on the bus, and the fun begins. There's actors who tell the stories of haunted Dublin, and they go all out with props and everything.
Mara is too busy whispering sweet nothings in Noah's ear, when out of nowhere, fake bloody guts are tossed onto her lap. The actor has a huge blood stain in the middle of his shirt as he falls into Mara's side, screaming about a bastard doctor who illegally removed his organs. Said doctor is creepily lurking behind the man, who's a few organs short now.
"Jesus be a whole damn chainsaw because I'm about to kill someone! Is that real blood? It smells like real blood. Why did I agree to do this? Holy hell, I need a drink."
I don't need that second cappuccino to piss myself. Mara freaking out is plenty good enough. She's definitely going to kill me for this one. She keeps smelling her shirt and scrunching her nose. This is comedic gold!
"It's not real blood, my little weirdo bestie. That'd be a whole other tour. A tour to jail, probably. Calm your tits, woman, and enjoy the rest of the tour."
The bus stops at St. Audoen's Church, where the ghosts of Darky Kelly and lepers still roam the medieval quarter today. You can sense the darkness as you walk up the steps of the church, and it's a creepy cool vibe. We're given a demonstration of medieval torture implements, and my little black heart is skipping a beat.
"Am I the only one who thinks this is kind of kinky hot? Yeah? Okay."
There's a guy talking to Abel, and I overhear what he says to him and snicker to myself. "Does the little dark vixen belong to you? Lucky man." See? Not everyone thinks I'm mentally disturbed.
"Only you would blurt madness out of your mouth, heffa."
Oh, Mara. If you only knew what I made Abel do to me behind closed doors. She'd probably shrivel up and die of embarrassment. Embarrassment of having me as a best friend. There was this one time, Abel used a spreader bar on me. Let's just say it was the first and last time. He spread me apart a little too fast, and I pulled muscles I didn't even know I had. Just sayin'.
St. Kevin's Church on Harrington Street is our next stop. It's one of Dublin's most haunted graveyard sites, right in the heart of the city. Hell yes!
Noah breaks his silence and joins in on the fun, questioning Abel's and my sexcapades.
"Please don't tell me you two have ever fornicated in a cemetery? I'd feel sorry for the spirits who might've been around for that dumpster fire."
He sounds like an old geezer from the sixties.
"Fornicated? What are you, eighty? Brother, no one uses that term anymore. To answer you, no, we haven't fornicated in any cemeteries. That's a little beyond my type of kink. Give me some credit, will ya?"
Some of the headstones here are so old, you can barely make out the inscriptions. They have cracks from old age, and some even have literal chunks taken out of them. It kind of saddens me, in a way, because it makes me think there's no family left to take care of them. As if their whole lineage is gone. I'm sure the weather, over time, had a part in the destruction too.
"This is a hauntingly beautiful place, B. Even though I was splattered with fake organs, red dye, and corn syrup, this makes it all worth it."
I knew Mara would love this place. She has an old soul and loves cemetery-hopping with me. I don't know how our fascination with cemeteries started, but it's one of our most favorite things to do together.
"I'm making notes of the weird shit you two like to do together. It may be evidence someday, especially if I happen to disappear. Are you listening, brother? We need to stick together, my man."
My husband's got jokes for days. He's also pretty smart to take notes of my excursions. Never underestimate the power of a goof because they're probably smarter than you think.
"Yeah, yeah. You got me. Mara isn't the only one plotting your demise. Now let's get back on the bus. Momma's tired and hungry, so you better tend to her needs, if you know what's good for you. My dear, sweet husband."
Chapter20
