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“I will. I promise.”
“If I hear different—mmpf.” He doesn’t get a chance to finish. I dive into him and kiss him. He kisses me back, gently, even though his eyes are chips of ice.
“Thank you, Jud.” But what Rev said makes me uncomfortable. “Is that true? Are you only giving me more freedom because I made you feel good for a few minutes? That’s not why I did it.”
“Isn’t it?” There’s no heat in it, but I still don’t appreciate the question.
“No,” I insist. “It isn’t. I did it because Icareabout you. I care aboutallof you. And for your information, if I didn’t care, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at all. I’d just do what I want and ignore your rules. But I’m not ignoring them, because I know you have them for a good reason. But I have reasons, too. I just want you to listen to me.”
Jud narrows his eyes. He looks unconvinced.
“She’s not Miranda,” Rev says so quiet I can barely hear him. “She’s not a club bunny. She’s ourheart.” He emphasizes the last word.
Jud sighs. The sound is one of giving in. It should feel like a victory, but it doesn’t. Not if he thinks I’m trying to “lead him around by his dick.” “I know,” he says. “I know.”
But I don’t think he does know. I think, maybe, Jud has baggage, and he’s been “led around by his dick” by other women, like…Miranda and club bunnies, whatever all that means.
I make him look at me with hands on his bearded face. “No. It’s not worth this. We keep things the way they are.” I won’t have Jud feel like I’m trying to use my body to usurp his authority, not when he’s been in this position before.
I refuse to do anything to weaken the leader of Eagle Peak, especially remembering what they were discussing when I interrupted. There’s danger headed our way. How selfish for me to be worried about silly things like my sexual freedom when Jud has a settlement to protect!
I’ll have to be content with one man per night. And so will they. That’s all any of us get. It’s not enough, but at least it’s fair. What’s more important is our protection. Our survival. Jud needs to focus on that, not on my wants and desires.
“If things stay the way they are, that means no more of this,” Rev says. “Fair’s fair. No more fun for the Judge unless it’s your night with Cora.”
If looks could kill, Rev would be dead at the end of Jud’s glare.
“Remember what we were talking about when our little one stopped by,” Rev adds. “Be a shame to limit our pleasure when we’ve got something unknown on the horizon.”
Jud’s body goes tight. “Enough,” he says. His voice is quiet, but his tone is iron. “Cora’s got the freedom she wants. She’s earned it.”
I gasp. How rude! That was low, even for Jud. “I didn’t do it to get my way!”
“Not like that,” Jud growls. He wipes a hand over his face and curses, and I can tell he didn’t mean it the way it sounded. His eyes find mine, and they’re sincere. “You earned it by being you. I know you’ll be fair, and—fuck, but I’m proud of you.” Quietly, just for me, he says, “You let Rev inside. That’s beautiful, baby. I’m so proud of you.”
Oh. Wow. He could be jealous of Rev right now, but instead, he’s proud of me for the progress I’ve made. I feel myself smile. “Thanks. It’s all of you,” I say. “You’re fixing me.”
“You’re fixing us, too,” Rev says. He looks pointedly at Jud. “All of us.”
Chapter 23
Cora
I thought I’d seenevery part of the camp, but this is new. Once the others finished dinner and made their way “to church,” Grim escorted me by flashlight around the gym and down a winding trail. Now, we’re at what I can only describe as a natural amphitheater. A rocky wall curves like a sickle moon, rising with three steps of ledges that look to have been roughly hewn out of a sloping cliff to make seating for a few dozen. In front of the rock wall are two smooth logs positioned like pews with a wide aisle between them.
The focus of the amphitheater is a small stage built like a deck without a house. It’s only about two feet high, but it’s big enough to host a low-budget playhouse production. Or a church service. This is where Rev preaches to the guys. And now, to me.
Along the perimeter of the stage, Shep is lighting tiki torches. In front of the stage, a campfire surrounded by rocks tosses sparks into the night sky. Brawn adds a new log to the blaze before taking a seat on the lowest rock step. He’s not far from where Jud sits back, manspreading with a bottle of beer in one hand. Doc sits near the fire on one of the log-pews and starts some Spanish-sounding fingerpicking on his guitar. Scrap sits like an uninterested lecture-attendee way up on the third step, inspecting his fingernails.
I look to Grim, who has a secure arm around me. “I had no idea this was here. It’s really cool.”
“Da. This is church.” He smiles indulgently at me, and I remember him calling me hiswife.Every time I think of that Ukrainian word he uses for me my insides leap and flip over like I’m on a roller coaster with a loop de loop.
The others have names for me too. To Doc, I’mchér. I’m Jud’s kitten, and Rev’s little one. Brawn calls me Petal, and then he does whatever I say. Shep calls me his flower, and to Scrap, I’m babe.
I’m going to give myself to all of them. I have seven boyfriends, and I have feelings for all of them. There’s always someone to hold me or joke with me or help me with whatever I need. There’s always someone wanting to spend time with me. I keep waiting to feel overwhelmed by the attention, but it hasn’t happened yet. Sure, I enjoy some alone time now and again, but I’m always eager to seek out one of my guys—or more than one—after I’ve had my fill of me-time.
It’s like I was made for this. Made for all seven of them.
