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So many things. I couldn’t tell him all of it.
I hated that I was going to say this, but I didn’t like the guilty feeling. I sighed. “I should probably try to sleep in the other room again. See if the nightmares have stopped. I haven’t had any in here with you.”
He frowned. “Do you want to sleep in there?”
No. Not even a little bit.
“I don’t want to abuse your kindness. I can’t stay in your space forever.”
Levi said nothing, and I started to worry that he was going to agree with me.
“I’m not sure I could sleep without you in my bed at this point.”
Oh. I stared at him. Slightly in shock. He wanted me in his bed. That made the crazy tingles awaken and begin to taunt me.
“Do you want to leave my bed?”
I licked my lips and shook my head.
His neck flexed as he swallowed. “Good.”
I pressed my thighs together in search of some kind of relief from the achy feeling he had caused between my legs. That was the one thing I wasn’t sure I could take much longer.
“Get some sleep, sweetheart,” he whispered.
If it were only that easy.
I needed to stop looking at him and turn over. This was something that I had to get control over and accept. But I was growing more and more desperate. Deciding to step out of my comfort zone, I took a deep breath and hoped he didn’t kick me out of his bed for this.
“Can I ask you something and you not get mad?”
“You can ask me anything, and I won’t get mad.”
Okay. That was good.
I closed my eyes tightly. This had been easier when I said it in my head. Right now, I was struggling to get it out. “I, uh … Kye has been flirting with me, right?”
I opened my eyes and looked at Levi. By the way his jaw was set, I knew his teeth were clenched.
“Yes.”
Okay, keep going. You can do this.
“Well, he seems to be the type who does things with girls and stays friends with them. I mean, he doesn’t seem to mind it. He can be sexual with a girl without feeling anything more than attraction to her.”
The dark look on Levi’s face made me stop talking. “Has Kye touched you?” he asked me.
I wanted to laugh. I shook my head. “No, but that’s what I am getting at.”
“You want to fuck Kye?” he growled out, looking furious.
“No! God, no! That’s not what I am trying to say.” I sighed, frustrated. “I’ve never had an orgasm. I’ve been kissed a few times by the same guy. No touching. Nothing. I just … I want to get to feelthat.I’m not someone who has a relationship. I can’t—” I stopped, not wanting to say that I was broken. Not to him. “I’m twenty. I want to know what it feels like.”
Levi rolled onto his back and rubbed his face with his hand. “Fuck,” he muttered.
“I shouldn’t have talked about this with you.”
I had made things awkward. He didn’t deserve this.
