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“You okay?” Kye asked me.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
The door beside me opened, and Levi climbed in, causing me to slide over.
“I thought you’d sit up front,” I said tightly.
He slammed the door. “Not when you’re back here,” was all he said. He didn’t try and touch me again.
No one spoke on the drive. Kye turned the radio up, and I laid my head back on the seat and stared out the window. I should have expected this. When he hadn’t come home, like Huck had, I should have known this was why. Getting hurt was ridiculous. I’d let myself care about him in a way that was dangerous.
His hand touched my thigh, and I jerked. I turned my head to look at him. His hazel eyes were studying me.
“I’m sorry.” He didn’t even try to whisper it so Kye didn’t hear him.
I blinked back the moisture in my eyes. “Okay.”
I started to turn my head away, and he reached up and cupped my face to stop me.
“Don’t hate me.”
As if I could. That was a pointless request.
“I don’t.”
He leaned down and kissed right beside my eye. “Please don’t cry,” he whispered.
I was trying not to. I took a deep breath and nodded.
He kissed in the same spot on my other eye. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
I knew that. That was what hurt the most—knowing he hadn’t done it to hurt me. He hadn’t thought I would care. He had no idea what he meant to me and how I felt about him.
When I said nothing, he moved away. I felt cold without him and started to look away again until I realized he was taking off his shirt. I stared at him and his glorious chest. He threw it in the back. Then, he put his arm behind me and pulled me against his side.
“I smell like me now,” he said simply.
He really hadn’t smelled like her. I’d just wanted to say something mean. But being against his naked chest felt good. I let myself enjoy it. The rest of the ride, he caressed my arm as we stayed quiet.
Once Kye parked us in the garage, Levi took my hand and opened the door. I let him help me out, and then I took my hand back. He stared at me with a small frown on his face.
“It’s been a long day,” I told him. “I’m going to bed.”
“In my bed.”
I shook my head.
“Aspen,” he started, and I stepped back.
“No. I can’t. I’m sorry. I just … I can’t, Levi. I don’t know how to explain it to you. I wish I could, but I can’t.” I turned and started for the door. When he didn’t grab me, I knew he was going to let this go.
Just last night, I had been curled up in his bed, thinking about him coming back. Having his warm body wrapped around me. I’d played several fantasies in my head about what we might do. Maybe that was it. All the things I’d hoped we would do had been ruined by what I’d heard at the shop.
Thankfully, no one was in the living room, and I was able to escape without more pitying glances andare you okayquestions. I glanced at Levi’s bedroom door as I passed it, and the pang in my chest was so strong that I thought I might break down and start sobbing. I hurried into my room, closing and locking the door behind me, then began stripping off this stupid sundress I’d worn for Levi. I felt silly now. How naive could a girl be?
Taking out the pajamas I hadn’t worn in a while, I slipped them on and went to brush my teeth. Looking at the bed, my eyes filled with tears, and I gave in, letting them fall. I’d wanted to cry all night. I might as well get it out. I crawled up in the bed and covered up, then buried my face in the pillow to muffle my cries.
It took some time, but they finally slowed, and I was left with a sniffle. I wiped at my face and closed my eyes. Just before I started to fade, I heard the doorknob jiggle. I wasn’t unlocking it. This was just the way it needed to be.
