Page 4 of Don't Puck Him


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A wave of relief passes across his face, and he smiles. “I was starting to think you had passed out.”

I stare at him until his eyes start to shift. He fiddles with the clipper in his hands.

“Uh, I just want to get a bit up top. Then you can get back to… your… book.”

My eyes don’t leave his. My stare is blank. When he gulps, I give myself an internal high-five and drop my head the same way I brought it up. Slowly.

He grabs a small step ladder and finds a way to finish up in my preferred position.

I wonder if this kid has amnesia. I’ve done this three out of the six times I’ve been here. Oh, well. At least I’m a great tipper. A little token for the trouble I give.

I’m at the register now. I stand by the wooden front desk and run my fingers through my hair. Still long enough to grasp a handful of it, but not so much that it requires daily maintenance. I can skip the comb for a few days and still look fine. It’s perfect.

An over-excited employee I’ve never interacted with helps me to check out. I hover my phone over the payment terminal as she blabbers on.

“Next time we should try something new. We’ve refreshed our website with new styles, and there’s a few that would look great on you, I think.”

She punctuates her sentence with a giggle and her braces sparkle.

I half my tip.

I don’t pay you to make small talk.

The old me would have pissed all over their bathroom floor for making unsolicited suggestions. I’m not sure if I should pat myself on the back for growing up or kick myself for becoming weak.

She’s the kind of girl my friend Cash would like, only because he gets off on ruining self-esteem and she’d be putty in his hands. He’s a jerk, but the kind of jerk I like.

“I’ll check it out.” I give her a measured smile then cock my head. “My best friend, Cash, would like you. He’s about my height, hair messier than mine. I’ll bring him next time.”

She glances around and lowers her voice. “You can give him my Snap. It’s…”

I zone out but pretend to type whatever she’s saying into my phone.

“Got it.”

She waves me off, and I exit the barbershop.

It’s afternoon, still a bit warm, but fall is hot on our heels. The air has started to bite slightly.

I jump into my all-black Maserati Ghibli and cruise back to my off campus studio apartment, a few blocks away from school. The car makes it easier to get there whenever I decide to show up for class.

I’m lucky enough to have a place with covered parking. I press the remote and the garage door rolls up.

The garage itself has a door that leads directly into my kitchen. I almost lose my composure and bolt in because I need to pee so bad. I slip in through the kitchen and leave the bathroom door wide open.

“Stunts like that can get you shot,” I yell out halfway through urinating.

“Bro, how the fuck did you see me? You didn’t even look this way.” Cash’s perplexed voice comes back from the living room.

I shake off my dick and flush, wash my hands, and exit.

Cash is sprawled on a sofa. I flop on to a beanbag next to it.

“I picked up your scent,” I say to his raised eyebrows.

His mouth falls open. “Picked up my scent?” He breaks into a fit of laughter. “Dude, you’re a fucking creep. I haven’t been here long enough for my smell to still linger.”

I smile at him and shrug. “I don’t know what to tell you. What are you doing here, anyway? I gave you a spare key for emergencies, not to break in when I’m not home.”

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