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“Yes. I’m done with the pity party now.” She puts down her fork and pretends to dust off her hands.
My best friend is back and everything is starting to feel a bit more normal. Including my unrequited feelings. I reach across the table and give her a high five.
Here’s to hiding my crush and enjoying the time I have with her. “I’m glad to hear it.” We smile at each other.
* * *
“Shall we go up to bed?” I ask after too much ice cream and hours ofFriendsepisodes.
“Yeah. We probably should. What are we doing tomorrow?” She drops her spoon from the sofa arm into the dish.
“Usually, on my days off, I feed the ducks in the park and go for a walk.” I look at her busted-up leg. "That’s not going to be an option.”
“We could feed the ducks if you want to.”
I pick up both dishes and spoons, ready to put them in the kitchen. “You really are converted. Next, you’ll be telling me you’re considering getting a real home so you can settle down.” I probably shouldn’t have said that, but a girl can dream.
“I wouldn’t take it that far.”
I get rid of the dirty dishes and return to the living room. “One can always hope.” Holding out my hand, I offer to help her up. She takes it, and I pull her to her feet. We’re close enough to kiss for a moment until I lean down and grab the crutches. I follow her upstairs and she’s already found a way to tackle them more confidently. One crutch wedges against the step, and the wall supports her weight. She passes me the other one to carry. She goes into the bedroom and I use the bathroom first. We swap, and I change into my pyjamas before we climb into bed and face each other.
“Hey, Lara… why have you never had a long-term girlfriend?”
I put my hands under my head and ponder the answer. “I’ve never met anyone better than my cat that I’d want to share my living space with.” I laugh at my lame joke.
“Be honest with me for a second.” Her face turns serious.
I’m not sure what has brought this conversation on, but I try again to give her an acceptable answer. “I’ve never met anyone who shared the same interests as me and that I could have a deep connection with.”
She thinks about my answer and a wrinkle forms on her forehead. “That makes sense. What do you mean by deep connection? What do you want?”
I bite the inside of my cheek. This is a difficult topic for me because the truth is, I’ve never met anyone who measured up to her. I’m single because I’m hung up on someone I can’t have. But I’m not dwelling on the truth. “This is heavy talk for so late at night. What’s on your mind?”
“I’m curious, that’s all. Are you avoiding the question?” She nudges me playfully with a smile.
“If I committed to someone, I’d have to go all in. I’d want to be looking for a long-term partner. That kind of person might only stumble into my life once. It’s not like I haven’t had opportunities to date. I just want it to be right. Sophie at work keeps asking me out, but she dates lots of girls and she’s not my forever.”
Mallory’s face falls. “Oh. I didn’t realise you had someone wanting to take you out. If she cleaned up her act for you, would you consider dating her?”
“That’s not going to happen.” I shake my head. Sophie can only change for herself, and I’ve not liked the ugly that jealousy has brought out in her lately. She’s a nice girl but definitely not for me.
“But if she did?”
I’m not sure why she’s pushing this. Could she want more from our friendship?No.That can’t be it. “I guess we’ll never know.” I shrug. “How come you’ve never found a travel buddy?” I flip the question, trying to take some of the heat off me and change my thoughts. Mallory likes travelling and being a free spirit. We’re complete opposites and I need to remember that.
“I’m better alone. That way I don’t have to worry about anyone but myself.” That’s such a Mal answer, but I’ve noticed the changes lately. She likes Moggy, even if she won’t admit it.
“Cheers to self-loving.” I lean over and switch the light off. My eyes are heavy and I’m ready for sleep.
“Yes. Cheers to that.” We’re both quiet, and I’ve almost drifted off when she adds, “And vibrating toys.”
My eyes fling open and I stare into the darkness. I try to look at her expression but all I can see is her outline. There’s not enough light in the room. A soft snore leaves her lips and she doesn’t stir again. Is she still thinking about my flower? And if she is, what does that mean?
CHAPTER10
MALLORY
The bed isempty when I wake, and I’m alone in the room. There’s a tiny gap in the curtains and a beam of light is shining through. I rub my hand across my face, trying to pull some of the sleep away.
