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LARA
Today,I’m saying goodbye to two of my companions. The bat I’ve been caring for is moving to his new home, and Mallory is leaving. My nocturnal buddy is going to be dropped off first. He’s well enough to join the bats at the Butterfly Garden in Leeds. I pack up his things and fasten his cage.
“Are you ready to go?” I ask Mallory once my flying friend is secure in the car.
“Yes. Any chance you’ll do me one last favour?” she asks.
“Sure.”
“Once I’m at the airport, I’ll have to manage my bag, but will you take it down the dirt track?”
“Of course.”
We lock up and drag Mal’s bag down to the car. It was my decision not to go with her, but I’m still sad about her departure.
We’re silent as we make our way across Leeds. Mal waits in the car while I deliver the bat. I don’t even want to let this little guy go, never mind my best friend. A tear falls down my cheek as I hand him over. Once I’ve signed him over, I’m back on the road, wiping my tears away.
“I’m sure you’ll have other animals to care for,” Mal says.
“Yeah. I know. I just don’t like to let my friends go.” I burst into full-on crying and can barely see the road.
Mal rubs my leg as I blot my tears away. “I’ll be back in a couple of months. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Goodbyes just make me emotional. I’ll be okay.”
We fall back into silence for a few more miles and I manage to turn off the water works.
“You’ve been a truly amazing friend these past two months, and I hope you know how much I appreciate you,” Mallory says.
“That’s what friends are for.” Talking about our relationship in a platonic way is painful.
“It’s more than that. I’ll never love anyone as much as I love you.”
“Stop or you’ll set me off again.” I wipe my cheek.
“I just want you to know you’re a very special lady.”
“Well, thank you. I’m pretty fond of you too.”
We fall into silence again. I wish I could say yes to Mal and uproot everything to be with her, but I’d be sacrificing everything else I have. My home, my job, and my friends. Everything I’ve ever known is here. The idea of giving that up is terrifying.
The journey takes less time than I wanted it to. Everything I should have said and everything I have said swirls around in my head. I drive into the car park and find a spot close to the airport building.
“Stay,” I say, closing my eyes. “Stay with me.”
“The magazine is my dream job, and there’s nowhere like that in England. As much as it breaks my heart, we can’t compromise such big things for each other, so let’s not make this any more painful than it has to be.”
I nod, unable to form the words. She gets out of the car, and I lift her suitcase to the curb. We hug goodbye and she starts to walk away. I watch her until I can’t see her anymore before climbing back into my car and sobbing uncontrollably. It takes me a while to come back to my senses.I’ll be getting charged extra if I don’t get my ass out of this expensive car park.
I cry the whole way home, and when Mr Hatta sees me, I can’t even muster a hello. I pour a glass of wine and raid the freezer.
Home alone with a big bowl of ice cream, I sit and watchFriends. My house feels empty now, even with Moggy on my knee. “It’s just me and you now, big guy.”
He meows and I stroke under his chin. By seven p.m. I take my sorry self to bed and more tears spill on my pillow.
* * *
I feel numb the next day as I feed the kittens at the cattery. The joy I normally feel doesn’t come. I’m sluggish on my feet, and nothing seems to cheer me up. Bella and Sophie enter the cattery as my shift is coming to an end.
