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Finally, he stops and we just stand in front of Frankie’s, each of us unsure what to do next.
“I guess this means goodbye,” I laugh wearily.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Marky shoots me a wan smile, the intensity of the evening taking a toll on both of us.
“Look, let’s just keep it to ourselves, or at least just our parents for now. I really don’t want to deal with everyone. Just give me a few days.”
“Okay, yes, of course. Just let me know how you want to handle it. I’ll do whatever.” Marky hugs me earnestly, and the embrace startles me. But I let myself melt into his strong arms for a blissful moment, cherishing the moment. We were engaged, after all.
But then I pull away.
“Marky, I wish you nothing but happiness. I mean it. But for now, we can’t be friends, we can’t… I can’t see you, okay?”
He nods thoughtfully. “I understand, whatever space you need.” We face each other for another semi-awkward moment. “Okay then.” Marky pulls out his phone to message for an Uber.
But before he can order the car, a sedan pulls up and the passenger side window lowers. In the dark recesses of the car, I see Brett Cunha’s handsome face in the driver’s seat.
“Hey. I figured you still be here.” Brett’s deep voice is kind. “Need a ride, Marky?”
Immediately upon seeing him, my ex-fiance’s entire face lights up with happiness. It feels like a punch in the gut, but at the same time I have never seen him so happy.
Marky starts to get into the car but then turns toward me at the last moment.
“You’ll be okay, Cora?”
Taking in Marky’s now happy face and Brett’s eager one behind the wheel, I smile wanly at the two handsome men.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine. You two go ahead.”
With that, the two men drive away and I’m left alone in the cold quiet night.
I take a moment to breathe in the fresh air, processing everything that has happened over the last several hours.
Well, my gaydar was spot on, I think ruefully. Oh my god what am I going to do?
I spot my car still parked in the lot but shake my head. You may feel stone cold sober, Cora, but you’re not.
With that thought, I message for an Uber to take me home.
As I wait outside Frankie’s for the ride, the absurdity of the entire night hits me all at once and I laugh manically for a solid minute. But just as quickly, a cold breeze snaps me out of my hysteria and I stand quietly, feeling more alone than I ever have in my entire life.
5
Cora
Around 1 a.m., I crawl out of bed and head downstairs to the kitchen. It’s the third night in a row that I haven’t been able to sleep, and I’ve learned that the only way to handle my insomnia is to just get up.
I tiptoe downstairs as quietly as possible so I don’t wake my parents. I avoid the second to last step on the stairs – its creaking sound could wake the dead – and cross into the kitchen.
As I put the bright red teakettle on the stove, I let my mind wander.
Three days.
It’s been three days and nights since I learned that my fiancé, the man I was supposed to marry, was not only not in love with me, but that he is in fact gay and in love with someone else. It’s crazy.
I shake my head as I stand at the counter waiting for the water to boil. I can’t be mad at Marky, and I know in my heart I’m not. But I am sad for myself, and I decide that’s a perfectly acceptable reaction to this insane situation.
Life, sucky. Mood, crappy. Cora? Miserable.
Sighing, I rummage through my mom’s tea chest looking for something soothing to calm me. Hibiscus, green tea, chamomile. Chamomile, that’ll do. I pull out a pack and grab the honey from the shelf. Just as the kettle starts to wail, I’m startled by a noise behind me.
“Mom!” I whisper loudly. “You scared me!”
Marcia smiles sleepily.
“Sorry sweetie, I just heard you come downstairs and thought I should check on you.”
“I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“Please. Your dad’s snoring woke me up.”
“Want some tea?”
My mom smiles at me and pulls two mugs from the cupboard. I place a teabag in each cup while my mom pours the steaming water over them. Immediately her glasses fog up and we each laugh as she pretends her fingers are mini windshield wipers.
“There, that’s a good sound, kiddo.” My mom pulls me into a warm hug. “I feel like you haven’t smiled in days.”
I step away from her embrace, not sure that I feel like talking. “I need to take care of the tea…”
“Cora.”
Uh-oh, she has her “mom” voice on.
“We both know the tea has to steep,” Marcia says gently. “Now tell me, what’s going on? You’ve been moping for days and while I know you’re an adult and you need privacy, it’s my job as your mom to notice when something seems strange.” She takes my hand and leads to me to the table. “So spill.”
