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And for what? He'd told her, again and again, that they could never be together, that he'd made a promise, that he risked his life even for this temporary dalliance. But... was it wrong to wish for more? To wish that he would face down the constraints, his Pack and her parents, and demand to have Zorah for his own? Perhaps it was childish to want these things. Perhaps it was petty to throw this in his face, to sketch out the future that waited for her outside the magical confines of his cabin. Perhaps he would end things here and now, toss her aside, or send her back to the village to finish her Heat, alone, in that drab little hut. Perhaps he would hate her the way the Beta boy did.
"I need to tell you something." Her throat spasmed on the last word, but she forced the words beyond the blockage. "But you have to promise you won't get mad."
The soft cradle of his strong chest and long limbs stiffened. Her anxiety ratcheted higher. She'd put him on edge, and she hadn't even begun.
A low growl rumbled in his throat and vibrated against the back of her head. "What is it?"
Uncomfortable all over, Zorah readjusted her seat on his lap, pulse pounding like a hammer on an anvil.Courage, Zorah. She squeezed her eyes shut and blurted, "I'm betrothed to an Alpha in my home Pack, my cousin Nelson. I'm expected to take him as a mate at the end of summer."
A brief, but interminable, pause passed, and then he burst out an incredulous, "What?"
Her words tumbled out in a low, tormented tone. "Nelson's father and my mother are distant cousins, so technically, he's my cousin and we're family. But half the people in River Bend are family so it's not that close of a connection."
He made an impatient noise. "What does that have to do with anything? Who betroths women to anyone?"
Zorah continued, striving to keep her words clear and unwavering. She had to make him understand this, understand her situation and the mess she'd created for herself. "Nelson's father, Harold, is the Alpha of Alphas in our Pack; my parents want a closer alliance with him. You see, I'm the only Omega of mating age, so it's an opportunity to secure a connection between our families that would increase our status and power in the Pack."
Jake sat up and shifted her off his lap. The removal felt like a rejection. But, facing her, his hand found her jaw, and he traced the curve of her chin with his thumb with a tender reverence. She leaned into his touch, soaking up the proffered comfort she desperately needed. Without the light of a candle, the outlines of his brow, cheekbones, jaw, and crooked nose slashed through the darkness in the scant light. His face had become so familiar that she could imagine the concerned folds around his eyes and the frowning divot by the corner of his mouth. She knew every detail, yet it would never be enough. Maybe that's why she'd chosen to bring this up in the deep of night: to avoid the distraction. Or maybe to avoid the memory of the inevitable disappointment marring his beloved face.
"I don't understand," he said slowly. "Is this what you want?"
Mouth suddenly dry, she wet her lips to continue. "No. I could try to refuse, but... they would say I don't know what's good for me, that I'm sheltered and naïve and my judgment isn't good. They would say they know better."
A shudder of humiliation rippled over her shoulders. They weren't wrong, were they? Look what happened when she tried to take her destiny into her own hands. This summer was meant to be her chance at freedom, but here she sat, midway through an unexpected Heat, shacked up with the most unsuitable Alpha in the entire Pack, trying to explain her betrothal, with her parents due to arrive any day.
She sucked on the corner of her lip, defeat infusing her words. "Maybe they're right."
"Why would you think that?" he said with a hint of affront. "Your judgment saved that boy's life —"
"Yousaved Nico. Not me."
"If you hadn't been there" — his tone brooked no argument — "he would've died. End of story."
"So I've done one thing right. I'm twenty-six years old, that's not a whole lot to make my point." Frustration welled up from the buried prison where she sequestered all her failures at independence. "Look at what happened when I snuck around with that Beta boy. He and his family might be dead because of me and my actions. And then there was the time I tried to run away..." Her voice snapped in two; the remembered shame was too much to excavate all at once.
Jake cupped her neck and leaned toward her. "What happened when you tried to run away?"
Unable to look at him even in shadow, she averted her eyes. "I was upset about something; I don't even remember what it was. But I threw a few of my favorite things in a bag, took a loaf of bread, and started walking. I figured if I followed the river, eventually, I'd make it to the next settlement and maybe I could find a 'new family' there." A resigned breath leaked out of her. "But what I didn't count on was the rain. The skies opened up, and within a few minutes, I was soaked to the bone. I tried to find a larger tree for shelter, but that took me away from the river, and I got turned around. Then, the sun started to set and I was lost, cold, and alone."
"Okay," he said, drawing the word out as an invitation to continue. "But someone found you, right?"
"Yes, but..." Zorah twisted her fingers till the joints creaked. "When my father found me, I was almost frozen. Hypothermia. I was sick for a week and my father... he'd fallen while looking for me and broke his arm, but he kept looking, getting colder and colder himself. He was sick, too, after that. Alphas are strong, but... he got hurt. He could've died because of me."
Tipping forward, Jake pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and murmured against her skin. "How old were you?"
"Eleven? Twelve?" Zorah jerked her head up, suddenly irritable. "But they never let me forget it. After that, every time I disagreed with my parents about anything, anything at all, they'd bring it up. 'Remember when you thought it was a good idea to run away? How did that turn out?'" Their snide admonishments scraped a jagged path through her memories.
Jake's head flung back in dramatic astonishment. "Oh, for fuck's sake. You were a kid. Lots of kids get mad about some stupid little thing and fantasize about running away. It's basically a rite of passage."
"They don't see it that way," Zorah argued. "The refrain has always been, 'Little Zorah doesn't know what she needs.' That's the reason I can't be trusted to makeanydecision, let alone one as important as choosing a mate."
Jake scoffed. "That's their opinion, and it's a stupid one. If they can't see how smart, brave, and capable you are, they're the problem. You have good instincts, and you're cleverer than they realize." His voice hoarsened with frustration. "They underestimate you, and if you go along with this betrothal, then you're basically agreeing with them."
A bleak heaviness centered in her chest. "What other choice do I have?" she said miserably. "I came to Morris Hill to find a different Alpha to mate —"
"An Alpha fromthisPack?" For the first time in the conversation, Jake's tone took on a dangerous edge.
She nodded warily. "That was my plan. In a large Pack like this, I thought it would be easy but..."
