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Maywin was aghast when she found out what I’d done.
“The King put her there for a reason,” the servant warned me. “He won’t like being undermined.”
“She’s miserable in the north wing, and it’s my fault that she’s there,” I insisted. “She’s still out of the way.”
Maywin didn’t argue my decision, but it was written on her face that she thought the move wasn’t a good one. I’d been unable to shake my guilt since my discussion with Stralia. Cade had managed to assuage my fears about him, but Stralia’s feelings toward him still lingered in my mind. She didn’t deserve to have her life turned upside down because of something beyond all of our control.
“No one needs to know about Stralia,” I told Maywin firmly. “Cade doesn’t get involved in the staff’s gossip. He likely won’t even hear about it.”
“I will pray to all the gods that this doesn’t backfire on you. Your heart is in the right place.”
I hoped so, too, but when I dismissed her and turned in for the night, I found it impossible to sleep. For all the closeness that had occurred between Cade and me, he still hadn’t set a date for the wedding, even though his birthday had passed now.
Cade was officially twenty-five and therefore eligible for the throne—if he married. We had celebrated his milestone birthday together, and he refused to make a big deal about it. We binged a new true crime series, shared a small cake, and then had wild, passionate sex until the wee hours of the morning.
It was much more intimate than the large celebration that was originally planned, and he’d told me the night was perfect.
But still, I had no idea when the wedding would take place, and it wasn’t a conversation that I wanted to rouse with everything that was going on.
This was how I spent my nights now, lying awake, worrying about what was to come. It wasn’t what I wanted for my future.
Tomorrow, I have to speak with him about the wedding. He has to commit or let me go.
Knowing that it was bound to be yet another sleepless night, I swung my legs over the side of the mattress and located a pair of slippers tucked beneath the bed. Wrapping my long tresses into a loose, unfastened bun over my head, I found a robe and crept toward Rufus’ room, prying open the door softly.
My driver’s soft snores met my ears, and I exhaled with relief. I didn’t want to explain to him why I was using his room as an escape, but Stralia’s advice to avoid the security guards had proven sound over the past weeks, and while there had been no further threats, the security remained posted in front of my suites, much to my chagrin.
Cade would not hear about having them dismissed.
“Leonid wasn’t cursed, but Aradia is convinced that there is dark magic lurking in the palace,” he had insisted. “You will have enhanced security for now. This is not up for discussion.”
“And how long will that be?” I had demanded in exasperation.
“As long as it takes,” Cade replied.
Closing my door at my back, I honed on my fae senses to guide me through the darkness of Rufus’ room toward his door, careful not to wake him. I bumped into the chair next to his bed, and the snoring stopped abruptly, causing me to freeze in place as Rufus stirred in his bed, but to my relief, he didn’t wake.
I remained in place to be sure, but after a moment, I saw that he wasn’t about to get up, and I continued toward the door, pausing to look in the hallway. The guards were not visible from Rufus’ door, and I headed in the opposite direction of my suite toward the back stairs, leading into the kitchen.
A stroll in the night air would do me good this evening. I contemplated visiting Cade’s room, but the hour was late, and I didn’t want him to wonder how I had managed to evade my guards.
No. A walk will do tonight. Tomorrow, I will visit with Cade.
I should have had Maywin make me a sleepy tea concoction before she turned in for the night. Going forward, I would ensure she made one for me every night until I could be trusted to sleep on my own—or at least until Cade and I were married. If we ever did get married.
Careful to listen for any noises in the palace, I made my way to the main floor and out through the back of the kitchen, but it seemed that the entire household had retired hours earlier. I was the only one still up at that hour, my thoughts keeping me from ever truly enjoying a proper night’s sleep in the walls of Ironhelm.
Will that ever change? Will I ever feel fully at home here, even if Cade does decide to pick a date for the wedding?
These were the kinds of questions that kept me up and would continue to keep me up, it seemed.
Moonlight gleamed off the night blooms, their petals outstretched to the blue-black skies, the shooting stars overhead raining down in a meteor shower as they did most nights. But I was too lost in thought to notice the beauty of the darkness.
For a moment, I found myself wondering what my mother was doing at that moment. Surely, she would also be asleep, like the rest of Carrottrove and Ironhelm, but a sense of nostalgia pierced through me as I missed my home and parents. As exciting as this adventure had been, the affection I had for Cade growing every day, the palace was still not my home. Instinctively, I reached for the compass hanging from my neck, but it didn’t give me the guidance that my mother had promised.
They’ll come for the wedding, too,I reminded myself, brushing aside the melancholy before I could wallow in any regrets.I just need to be patient.
A tingle of cold air rushed down my spine suddenly, and I whirled around, the hem of my robe swirling at my ankles.
