AllFreeNovel
Share Us
My mind raced as the minutes ticked by, having nothing better to do than think, going over everything.
I should’ve called Mom and Dad.
I don’t know why I felt guilty in the moment for not reaching out to my parents after leaving. They had known that I was leaving the reservation, and had put up a fight to get me to change my mind.
But I just couldn’t stay.
The two of them were volatile together, and there weren’t any good jobs for me in the area. I’d forever have been stuck in the vicious cycle of poverty that they were in, barely getting by. They fell into substance abuse as a means of coping, which made their relationship with each other not only toxic but also borderline dangerous. And as much as I didn’t have the temptation to fall into their habits...
Depression of being stuck could’ve eventually worn on me.
And I didn’t want that cycle.
They had ruined my childhood, and my mother had neverreallybeen a mother to me, leaving me feeling as though I didn’t even know how to be one myself.
Which is why I can’t have a family.
A strange sadness filled my chest, tears threatening to well up in my eyes the more I thought about it. I had always told myself that I didn’twantit, but honestly, maybe I just didn’t feel like it was in the cards for me.
I didn’t want to be a bad mother.
Leia had a natural instinct, and it had been honed by having to take care of me over the years. I hadn’t had the same circumstances. If someone handed me a child, I would have no idea what to do with them.
Takoda whined in my arms, and I held him a little tighter against my body, wishing more than ever that I’d have brought some sort of jacket. I’d been in such a panic just to find him, that it hadn’t crossed my mind that I might need more in the storm.
Never thinking things through, just like always.
I rolled my eyes at myself, replaying all the times that Ihadn’ttaken the time to think things through. I had believed a half-ass mechanic that the van could make it to Arizona, and if that hadn’t been bad enough, I had willingly jumped into bed with a billionaire cowboy with major trust issues.
And then fucking fallen for him.
I had wanted to deny my feelings, but I wasn’t stupid—I knew myself. My feelings for Wade were growing beneath the surface. That was why I had wanted to talk to him about things after we’d had sex. I didn’t want to lose Wade from my life, though it was silly to think that he’d actually want to maintain some sort of communication after I left for Arizona.
Why would he want to?
I’m just a woman from a dysfunctional family—and not a penny to my name.
Tears welled up in my eyes, my tough exterior melting in the middle of the night, my body completely exhausted and cold. Wade hadeverythingand there was never going to be a place for me in his life long term. I was just a blip in his timeline, a body passing through on the way to Arizona...
And I had to just accept that.
ChapterTwenty-Two
Wade
“What the hell are you doing, Freddy?” I grabbed ahold of his reins, trying to calm the anxious horse. He wassoaked, but the line of mud running up to the middle of his chest caught my attention immediately.
He’s been in flood waters.
My mouth went dry as the realization hit me. If he had been in the water, that meant that Cheyenne had been, too...
And my horse hadn’t managed to bring her back.
“Fuck,” I grumbled under my breath, all the worry I had been feeling now confirmed. Cheyenne was more than likely in trouble—and I needed to get to her. I brought Freddy into the barn, tying him up to the stall door. As fast as my hands could go, I tacked up Roanie, knowing that Freddy was already shivering, worked up, and exhausted.
He’d be useless in a rescue.
I swung up on Roanie, putting my phone to my ear and calling Blake as I rode out into the now-night.
