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Suddenly, I felt that my presence was more harmful than helpful, and I turned to John. “I think I should go.”
Behind his calm look, John was incredibly strained. I could see it in the tight crinkles around his eyes and the grim set to his mouth. “I’ll walk you to your car.”
“You don’t have to—” The stiff look he gave me made me click my mouth shut so quickly that my teeth clicked. I relented. “—okay.”
It was cool midday, and one or two tufted clouds dotted the endless blue Texas sky. Multicolored birds fluttered from the trees around, and a soft breeze filled my lungs with the myriad smells of wildflowers. The crunch of gravel under his boots was the most predominant sound as we walked to the car.
At the door, I turned. John hugged me and stroked his hand up and down my back. His eyes squeezed shut, and I melted into him, my head rested against his chest. His warmth seeped into me as I fit against him perfectly, my soft breasts pillowing against his lower ribs. The smell of his sweaty, spicy citrus-musky cologne flowed through my nose, and it was a powerful moment that I couldn’t explain to anyone.
“I think you know our plans were splintered today.” He sighed, nosing at my ear. “I’m sorry.”
As big as John was, I knew he needed someone to lean on, and I had a feeling he’d been needing it for longer than right now. “Plans change, I know,” I reminded him. “And something like this is a huge shift.”
“I’ll get it back on track,” he murmured, kissing my cheekbone and pulling away. “I promise.”
“Call me,” I replied before slipping into the car and returning to town.
* * *
When my alarm blasted off the next morning, I slapped my hand out hard enough that it tumbled to the floor. I then turned over, trying hard to grasp the fleeting memories of my dream.
I remembered John kissing me, holding me, caressing my skin while whispering sweet promises in my ears. Some of them were too sweet because I distinctly remembered him sayingtogether forever,and I knew that could not—would not—be possible. Aside from the scintillating sexual tension we had with each other, we were worlds apart.
Forever for was just that…a dream.
And as for my dream, it faded away into nothingness, and I had to let it go. Turning onto my belly, I sighed and dragged a pillow over my head. Even though I knew he was not there, I reached out for John…and I had expected the other side of the bed to be empty.
I flopped on my back and sighed. John had not called or texted me since that incident with the calves three days ago. Every day, I saw Sam, and while I yearned to ask her about her dad, I had to hold back. She didn’t need to know—or get a hint of—what was happening between me and her dad.
It was Friday now, and by noon, I was off duty. The kids would be out playing their hearts out on Sports Day, and then, two weeks from then, we had the town’s center Daddy-Daughter dance that I hoped John and his girls would attend.
For now, though, I had to get to work and, after that, run some errands. Grumbling, I slid out of bed, stood, and hustled to the kitchen to put the coffee maker on, then went to the bathroom to shower and dress.
All week I’d kept my eyes on Sam, and while she still played with the boys, I’d seen her talk to a few girls and have lunch with two. I didn’t know if she was trying to see if she and the other girls had a few things in common or if she were just that different.
I took time to moisturize, something the tomboy I used to be would have scoffed at, but now, I knew it was wise to take care of my skin.
Skin soft and silky, I had my makeup on and dressed in a soft powder blue blouse and pencil skirt. I got my travel cup of coffee and grabbed my handbag and some folders before heading to the school.
Pulling to the intersection, I paused at the stop light and reached for my cup of coffee. The light turned green, and one-handed, I turned to go right when a big jeep came out of nowhere and almost t-boned me.
Frightened, I stomped on the brake and jerked the wheel, bringing the car to a dead stop, flashing the coffee onto my blouse and lap, but the burning pain didn’t even register as I watched the jeep rush on. With shaky fingers, I settled the cup back in the holder, eased my foot off the brake, and drove to a soft shoulder, sucking in air to calm down.
Hunched over the wheel, I tried to recall what had happened. Had I checked my rearview mirror? Yes, but I knew I had not seen that monster jeep anywhere near me.
Sharp knocks on my window had me looking up to meet a few concerned gazes. The passersby must have seen the almost-accident and were checking on me. I rolled down the window.
“Are you all right?” A young man holding a cup of coffee and a box of bagels asked.
“That jeep came from nowhere,” someone else added.
A blond lady with a frou-frou puppy in her handbag asked, “Do you need to go to the hospital?”
“I’m fine, thanks, and I appreciate your concern, but I’m not injured, just a little rattled—” I looked down at my clothes, “—and covered in coffee.”
“You sure you don’t want the police?” the first man asked.
“I’m sure, thank you,” I tried to assure them.
