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He hesitated, aware of the clock banging in his head. He needed to get back to the house and the interviews, but he couldn’t remember the last time he had exchanged more than a dozen words with Phoebe. He’d never been around for the important stuff. If he was ever going to make it right, things had to change. Just a few seconds, a minute, to let her know she counted. “You don’t have a date, do you?”
“No.” A tiny grin scampered across her face—so like Nicole’s—and disappeared. “But I’m working on it. No, it’s about Mom—and you.”
“Try not to be so hard on your mom. You know she loves you, just like I do. She’s going through a hard time, and it makes her mad.” They all were—because of him. “She has a reason to be mad. I ignored her. I ignored you guys. I had my priorities all messed up. Now I’m paying for it.”
“No, Chris and I are paying for it. And Mom won’t even try to work it out. She’s—”
“Wives have a right to expect their husbands to be around, to spend time with them, to do stuff together.” Daniel couldn’t let her criticize Nicole anymore. She was too young to understand how complicated a relationship could be. “That’s not an unreasonable expectation.”
“Kids, too.”
Daniel didn’t know if it were a question or a statement. “Children, too. Are you mad at me because I didn’t spend more time with you?”
“You came to my volleyball games. You helped me with my science fair project. You took me camping for my Girl Scout badge.”
It was almost as if she were making a list. Daniel had a feeling it wasn’t the first time. “You know I love you, right?”
“Yeah.” The emotion had seeped out of her voice, leaving it small.
“Even if I spend time with Benny. Even if Benny is living with me right now, and you’re not.”
She started to cry. Daniel pulled her into his arms. “It’s okay, sweetie, it will get better—”
“What’s going on? Why’s she crying?” The metal in Nicole’s tone as she sauntered toward them on heels that added two inches to her height told Daniel she had a theory all ready. And it involved blaming him.
“We were just talking.” Phoebe slipped away from Daniel, wiping at the tears with the tips of her fingers.
“About what?”
“Nothing, Mom, nothing.” Phoebe whirled and plowed past her mother. “Just forget it, okay?”
Daniel met his wife’s gaze and waited for the explosion.
None came. “What was that all about?” She flipped her dark hair away from her face, her tone soft, but still accusatory. “What did she tell you?”
Daniel shook his head. “Nothing. Look, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Benny and my plan to adopt him.”
She halted a few feet from him, hands on the curve of her hips, her face flushed with the late afternoon heat. “You know I like Benny.”
She’d given Daniel boxes of clothes Christopher had outgrown, offered advice when Benny had come down with the flu, and invited him to family birthday parties. “I assumed you did.”
“I can’t believe you’re talking about adopting a little boy when we’re in the middle of a divorce.”
“You may be in the middle of getting a divorce, but I’m not.”
They battled with their gazes for several seconds.
“Don’t you think Benny’s been through enough without dropping him into a family that’s disintegrating?” Nicole’s voice quivered. “Think about it, Danny. Think about how little time you spent with Phoebe and Christopher when they were smaller. Always on the road or involved in investigations that went on for weeks, not coming home night after night. And now, they’re old enough to know they were cheated. They resent it. Benny will, too—eventually.”
She was right. So very right. All the plays he’d missed and dance recitals and basketball games. Things he could never get back. “I’d like a chance to make up for that. Just let me come home.” Emotion rolled over him in a wave. He cleared his throat. “I could spend more time with them if you would let me come home. And they like Benny. They play with him. They want us to all live together again, be a family. You’re the one who won’t let us do that.”
“Somehow everything is always my fault. Even now you can’t take responsibility for any of this, can you?” She stalked away.
“Yes, I can. I do.” He charged after her. Before he could grab her arm, she whirled around and faced him. He reached out to her. She stepped back. He let his hand drop. “Give me a chance. I’ll do better.”
“I don’t think so.” Tears gleamed in corners of her hazel eyes. “I’m not sure you truly are capable of doing better. You’re too driven. You’re the guy who can never give up and never give in. The guy living in his big brother’s shadow. You’ll always have something to prove.”
“Can we talk about this with Pastor Wilson on Monday?” She might as well have stabbed him and gotten it over. The counseling session with the pastor had been painful, but never this raw. “Benny’s life is on the line right now.”
