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“The question is what are you doing here?” The sound of the door opening told her he wasn’t going away. He squatted next to her. His hand came out as if to touch her. A thrill of fear ran through her. She scrambled back. No one touched her anymore. Not even a nice guy—yeah, she could admit he was nice—touched her. “What do you want?”
“Deborah, could you look at me for a second?”
Something in his voice made her heart squeeze in a painful rhythm. It sounded like disappointment. “What?”
His face, bathed in the streetlight overhead, seemed full of emotion. “You’ve been drinking?”
“It’s a bar. Generally speaking, people drink in bars.” She worked hard to keep the words concise. She wasn’t drunk. Just pleasantly tipsy.
“But not you, remember. You gave it up, along with the smoking.”
“What makes you think I’ve been smoking?”
“The smell. At the wedding, you smelled really good. Blush, right?” Luna’s tone softened. How could a guy know about women’s perfume? “Now you smell like a bar.”
“So. I don’t care.” He was a lady’s man, of course. That’s how he knew. “Maybe I just wanted a night off from being good. Just one night. A couple of drinks. A couple of cigarettes. I can do one night. Why are you here? Someone send you to baby sit?”
“Daniel was worried. He said you were upset when you left, and he tried to call your cell, and there was no answer. All evening.”
“Daniel’s foster child is missing, and he’s worrying about me?” She snickered.
Luna’s expression hardened. “He’s got his hands full. Do you think he needs you doing this on top of it? It’s pretty selfish of you, actually. I thought you were his friend. He needs you sober and working the case. Why would you do this?”
It didn’t matter that Luna was only saying what she’d been telling herself for the past several hours. “Nothing’s wrong with me. I’ll be right there on top of the investigation all the way—just like I always am. I’ll find Benny for him. I don’t let drinking get in the way of my work.”
“Really? I wonder if Ray would agree with that.”
He posed the question without emotion, but the words crashed down on her, syllable by syllable, each one piercing her skin like a dozen sharp knives, each one a searing pain that rampaged though her. She knew the answer to that question. She’d been drunk when her partner needed her, and he’d nearly died trying to work a case alone. She could never undo that.
She staggered to her feet. “I wouldn’t mind a ride home, if you’re offering.”
He bowed and swept his arm toward the Altima in a flourish. “Your coach awaits you, madam. Your designated driver at your service.”
She weaved toward the car, trying to examine some thought, some wisp of an idea that kept escaping in the midst of the alcohol haze. “It’s Saturday night. You haven’t been drinking?”Drinkingcame outshrinking. She ducked her head, woozy. Shame slammed over her in another huge wave.
“No, I was working.” The accusation inherent in those words didn’t escape Deborah. He opened the door for her. “Besides, I don’t drink.”
“Come on, Luna. I’ve seen you at parties.” She sank into the smooth leather seat, relieved that the ground had stopped heaving under her. Luna’s car smelled like pine trees—clean—after the smoke-filled stench of Billy Bob’s. “You’re at the bars more than I used to be.”
“I’ll let you in on a secret if you promise not to tell anyone.”
She let her head loll against the seat. “Promise.”
“I get lonely. Most of my real friends are married, so I hang out with guys who aren’t.” He leaned in to talk to her. She could see the red lines that crisscrossed the whites of his eyes. He was tired. Shame wrapped itself around her throat in a chokehold. “And they hang out in bars.”
“So you’re the designated driver.”
She murdered the word designated, but he didn’t laugh at her. He leaned toward her, one hand on the roof of the car, the other on the door. “Yes. But like I said, it’s our little secret.”
“Nobody knows?”
“Just Joaquin and probably Lily. Joe tells his wife everything.”
“Why did you stop drinking?”
“Makes me act stupid, and I don’t need any help in that department.”
If she weren’t so tired and woozy, she’d call him on that. Had to be another reason. There always was. “I’ll let you take me home, Luna, but I’m not giving you anything in return. Nothing. You got that?”
