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“Yes.”
“I got my church pants dirty. I-I-I’m-m-m sorry. They got a hole in them. I’ll work and pay for new ones, okay? Only . . . can you not call the police?”
A retching sob wafted after the words. The rough wood under Daniel’s hands bit into his fingers. “Benny, I don’t care about the pants. I only care about you. I’m not calling the police. The police were looking for you to bring you back to me, that’s all.”
“They aren’t going to arrest me?”
“No. No!” What was going through his traumatized head? “Why would they arrest you?”
A huge hiccupping sob. “The man—Mr. Juice—my-my-my—he said the presents I took to the guys for my mom—they had crack in them. And then, then I . . . I didn’t mean to . . . . but I think I killed Mr. Juice.”
“Benny, nothing you did was your fault. You’re a kid. Your mom and Morin—Mr. Juice, they’re responsible for everything. They’re the adults.”
Another sob. “My mom’s really dead?”
Daniel bit his lip so hard he tasted blood. “Yes, she is.”
The silence stretched, taking Daniel’s decimated nerves with it. He stuck one foot on the second rung. Nicole’s grip on his arm tightened.
“Was Mr. Juice really my dad?” The disbelief and disappointment in Benny’s voice tumbled through the air and landed on Daniel’s shoulders, heavy.
“We don’t know yet. There are some tests they can run to find out.”
“Is-is-is he really dead?”
“Yes.”
“Mr. Daniel.” The boy’s voice, filled with anguish, rose. “I didn’t mean to kill him.”
“Benny, you didn’t kill him. The car crash did.”
“He grabbed for the gun. He was supposed to hold on to the wheel. He wanted me to shoot at the guys in the other car. They were shooting at us. I was too scared. I had the gun, but I couldn’t. Mr. Juice was supposed to be driving. He drank a bunch of stuff before we left, and he had needles. I didn’t think he should drive. They always say don’t drink and drive. I told him I’d do it, but he didn’t believe me.”
The rush of words ran faster and faster until ended with hysteria-laden sobs. Daniel searched for words that would bring Benny down—into his arms. “It’s not your fault. He was an adult. He should have known better.”
“Maybe I killed my dad. I didn’t mean it.”
“Nobody blames you. I promise. No one.”
“What happens to me now?” Sobs fractured the words.
Determination gripped Daniel. This was his child in every way that truly counted. “I’m your foster dad, Benny. I’ll fight for you, but first, I have to take you to the hospital.”
“No.” Outright hostility. Fear.
“Benny, you have to put the gun down so I can come up there and get you. I’ won’t let anything bad happen to you. I want the doctors to look at you to make sure you’re all right.”
“What then?”
“I’ll take you home with me.”
“For good?”
A flutter of hope in his voice. Maybe. Daniel couldn’t be sure. Hope would be better than the angry defeat of a few moments before. “I can’t promise that, not yet, but I do promise that I’ll do everything humanly possible to make it happen.”
Daniel shut his mouth and forced himself to swallow.
More sobs. Daniel gripped the ladder rung harder. Nicole patted his arm. He eased up a little.
