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“You sent her into the gym?” I cross toward her.
Gabrielle backs up from me, shaking her head, she sputters. “I don’t, I don’t understand. What, why are you mad?”
Inhaling slowly, I focus on exhaling slower. Once I’m in control, I answer her. “My wife isperfectthe way she is. I want you to stop putting her down in any way. Do you understand me? Every way she is, is beautiful to me. Not if she wears more blue, or if she is thinner, or cuts her hair, exactly as she is, is perfect for me. I don’t want to hear you’re telling her whatever she’s eating or drinking has too much sugar or carbs or any fucking thing except not enough if she wants more.”
Her eyes fall from mine. “I was only trying to help her—”
“Itdoesn’thelp her. I don’t give a fuck if someone put limits on your body in order for them to accept you—it has nothing to do with me and my wife. It hurts her, and no one hurts her. Not you, no one.” I dare her to try.
“Yes. Okay,” she mutters before leaving the room at a run.
“Your wife might forgive you for killing her father, but I think her mother would be a different response.” My father isn’t doing a good job of fighting a smile. He’s leaning in the open doorway to the house.
“The woman received a warning I have no doubt she will heed. I hope you did in regard to giving me time with my wife.”
His nod is measured. “Felix is dealing with it now, is he not? You’ll get your weeks off. Both from the children and business.”
“Good. Now excuse me while I go find my wife.” I’m walking away without waiting for a response.
Closing my eyes against the anger churning through my gut at having to hunt Nicolette down in the gym. I fucking said the gym was off-limits. It’s been too many days without her—she better not be losing weight already.
She’s staring out the wall of glass, looking miserable. I exhale slowly, her mother chased her in here. As badly as I want her life to begin with the day I met her—the same day mine truly did for me—it didn’t. Her mother was her only source of love and affection for years. Gabrielle loved her daughter, I believe it. It’s the only reason why she received a warning and not death immediately.
For twenty-two years, her mother has been the god of her life, the one thing she could trust and believe in completely. It’s going to take time for her to trust completely in me—to become her new god. To be her source of peace. I won’t consider the way it stings I’m not already, it seems unfair—since she is for me.
“What are you doing in here? I gave orders for you not to be in here.” I want to know everything going on inside my beautiful wife’s chaotic mind.
Her answer angers me. She should be apologizing for going against my order. Yet the little furrow between her eyes that appears when she’s hurting keeps me from unleashing the anger. I don’t want there to be a further question or doubt in her mind. “I am aware you can be in here without hurting yourself. I don’t want you in here because I like you the way you are.”
I don’t miss the way her eyes glisten, so I don’t understand the lie of her question. I know everything about her. Every habit, from the way she sleeps on her right side better than her left, to how she loves the sound of rain.
Calling her on the lie gets me nowhere. Her question is flippant, yet I feel my answer is gravely important. Yes, there are changes coming—for the both of us. I can’t wait for a single one of them. What will her beautiful face look like with a fine feather of lines around her eyes and mouth? I want them around her mouth first to show off all the smiles I bring to her every day.
I strip her naked, intent on making sure there haven’t been any changes to her body. So fucking sexy. How can she not see herself the way I do?
One day, her breasts will sag, and more fine stretch marks will appear across her silky soft skin. The first touch of her sends the sensation coursing through me—there it is. Sunlight bursting in every cell of my body, from the simple touch of her skin. This is how I know no matter the changes in her body or even her mind, I will never give up the way she makes me feel.
Sinking into her, I’m home. No matter where I am in this world, as long as I am inside my wife, I’m home.
CHAPTER18
Nicolette
My mother stands behind me. In the mirror, I see her blink back tears. A trembling hand smooths the veil. “You are so beautiful.”
“Mommy, please don’t cry. I don’t want her to have to redo my make up,” I plead.
Shaking her head, she sighs. “I’ll stop. But…” Her hands are on my shoulder, turning me to face her. “Mija, you understand I love you, don’t you? I was only trying to help you—”
“I know, Mommy. I do.” And I do. It’s why it hurt so much. To be told you weren’t good enough by your mother who loves you… If she couldn’t accept me as I am—why would anyone else?
“All I wanted was for you to have this. This day, this man. Someone who will love you and take care of you. For you to never experience what it’s like not to know where your next meal will come from or wonder where you’ll sleep. The world is so unkind when…” Another sigh from the bottom of her lungs.
I nod. Now, I understand the difference of why I would have never been able to be Carina, Celia, or Lydia. They loved themselves as they were. For them, they were the prize, not a man. The thought never even crossed my mind I was a prize. I was too fat. Fat meant I couldn’t wear the best clothes, fat meant there would always be women more beautiful simply because they were skinnier. I was raised to be what my husband would want, to please a man I had never met.
A shaky sigh of relief comes out of me. I’m lucky beyond words Manuel didn’t expect me to be anything but who I was the moment I met him. His vow to make me more selfish was his only thought—to think of myself before others.
Even that was for me. He wasn’t trying to mold me into something to please him. All he cared about was that I was happy, nothing more. Because me happy made me glow like his own personal sunshine.
