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“Sorry.” Win dropped into a nearby chair with a sigh. “Jairo needed me. I couldn’t get away sooner.”
Mathieu didn’t want to hear that. He didn’t want to hear about another man—fucking Jairo Beltran—needing Win. Mathieu needed him. Never stopped. He swallowed all those words crammed into his throat and jerked a nod.
“I know who your bodyguard is.”
Win leaned forward, expression eager. Mathieu stared at him until it got to be too much, looking without touching, so he broke their gaze, sitting on the edge of his desk.
“Who is he?”
Mathieu smiled. “Not for you to worry about. Just know he won’t be an issue anymore.” A man with secrets will always recognize the same in another. And a man with something to hide was a man Mathieu could control. Linc, Win’s new bodyguard, came with a closet crammed full of skeletons. Unlucky for him, Mathieu could sniff that shit out from miles away.
Unless the person worked for him…
He pressed his lips together. Another thing he couldn’t afford to focus on.
“Mathieu.”
He blinked at Win.
“At least give me something. He’s in my house. He’s watching me.”
“He’s not a threat to you,” Mathieu reassured the other man. Linc would already be dead if that was the case. “He just has secrets I can use.” And Mathieu would, without a second thought.
“Of course.” Win rolled his eyes, sitting back. “As long as you can use them.”
Mathieu ignored the sarcasm. There were still some things Win didn’t like about the way Mathieu did business. They’d clashed on that a whole lot, but he’d always liked fighting with Win. It made him laugh and horny in equal measure. He’d thrown away all rights to feel that way though. Thrown away a lot of things that he missed now as he took in the sight of the man seated before him.
There’d been a very brief time, immediately after Mathieu rescued him from that hotel room, that Win had been scared of him. Of his father. Of the life Mathieu dragged him into. But his fear didn’t linger for too long and that had been the catalyst for Mathieu’s father’s declaration that Win had to die. The old man preferred fear from the people around him. Respect he accepted, but fear was what he craved. He’d thought Mathieu should be the same way, but it had never been about fear for Mathieu.
Maybe it should have been, then he wouldn’t still be reeling from the back-to-back betrayals that had been revealed while he’d been in New York.
“What’s wrong?”
He narrowed his eyes at Win, who gazed back with his head cocked, still seeing too much even when they weren’t as close as they’d been. Mathieu didn’t bother denying it. He could deflect. It was the last thing he wanted on his mind now, but this was Win and Win had always been his sounding board.
“Some things happened while I was in New York.” Win hadn’t come to hear his bullshit and Mathieu hadn’t planned on airing it out, but they were there now. And Win asked. So Mathieu told him, “Chantal—” His voice cracked and he shook his head, glancing away. “One of my men took advantage of her.” A tame phrase for what he’d allowed to happen. He barely heard Win’s gasp.
“What?”
He turned back to see Win had gotten to his feet, murder in his eyes.
“Who?”
Mathieu wanted to touch him. Instead, he folded his fingers into his palm. “Doesn’t matter. He’s dead now. What matters is he wasn’t afraid of me. He felt justified in doing it, right under my nose.” And the worst part… “And my sister didn’t trust me enough to tell me. She didn’t think I’d care.” When Win didn’t speak, Mathieu stared into his eyes, his heart sinking to the soles of his feet. “You think the same.” Why that thought devastated him, he couldn’t really say.
Win shook his head and came closer until his left thigh brushed Mathieu’s knee. “I have no doubt you love your sister.” He pressed his lips together, glancing away before bringing that brilliant gaze back. “You became somebody different when your father died. A stranger.”
Because it’d been a blow, unexpected and wrenching. Mathieu had found himself lost and incapable of functioning. No matter how hard Win had tried to help him course-correct, he couldn’t. Maybe Mathieu hadn’t wanted to. So he’d turned away. Found Bishop. Did dumb shit, made reckless mistakes, and lost so much in the process.
Chantal.
Win.
He had so much to atone for and he didn’t know where to start to get his sister back in his life. To get Win to love him again.
“Mathieu.”
Win whispering his name cracked something in his chest and Mathieu grabbed him around the waist, yanking him into his body. The move threw Win off balance and he clasped both hands onto Mathieu’s shoulders, making a low sound of protest.
