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I pause, gathering my courage to ask these people about their private lives. But that’s why they’re here.
Writerchick: I’d like each of you to tell me which types of BDSM activities you engage in.
Kinkyboots: I’m submissive.
Kitten: Me too.
Godfrey: I’m a Dom.
Well, pretty much what I expected. According to what I could find online, most women are submissive and most men are Dominant. I would’ve liked to hear from a female Dom or a male sub.
Writerchick: Are you comfortable sharing your sexual orientations?
Kinkyboots: Straight.
Godfrey: Straight.
Kitten: Bisexual.
Again, pretty common. It would have been nice to see a different orientation, but I’ll work with what I’ve got.
Writerchick: Okay, thank you. I’d like you to answer the questions I pose in the order you came into the chatroom, so Kinkyboots first, and then Godfrey, and then Kitten. How did you first find out that you were interested in this kind of lifestyle?
Kinkyboots: This is going to sound strange, maybe, but my dad spanked me when I was a kid. It wasn’t a sexual thing at all. I hated it then, and he never sexually abused me. But for some reason, I’ve always wanted my boyfriends to spank me.
Writerchick: That’s very interesting. It may not be related to your abuse at the hands of your father at all.
Kinkyboots: That’s what my shrink says. Though she also says it could be.
Writerchick: Anything else?
Kinkyboots: It took a while to find a boyfriend who was willing to spank me.
Kitten: You had trouble finding a boyfriend willing to spank you? Man, most of the ones I find love it.
Kinkyboots: Really? It wasn’t that way for me. Most of them weren’t willing to do it. When I finally found one who was willing, he wanted to do other things as well, like tie me up.
I wait for her to add more, but when she doesn’t, I type again.
Writerchick: Godfrey?
Godfrey: I guess I’ve known since I was young. At least since puberty. When I started becoming attracted to girls, I imagined them in all these compromising positions. For a long time, I repressed those urges. It wasn’t until I was an adult, a couple of years out of college, before I realize that my impulses were normal as long as I had a consenting partner.
Writerchick: And you, Kitten?
Kitten: Kind of the same as Godfrey. I always had the fantasies, but I never acted on them, not until I was an adult, and then I read some erotic novels that went mainstream, and I realized, hey, this isn’t abnormal at all. It’s just different.
Writerchick: Thank you so much for your answers. Do you have a partner that you play with exclusively?
Kinkyboots: I recently got out of a relationship. I’m not comfortable with playing with someone I don’t know.
Writerchick: How do you deal with that?
Kinkyboots: There are online sites where you can find potential partners who share your interests and who are willing to get to know you before you engage in any kind of play. That’s where I am now. Looking for potential partners, meeting people for coffee and stuff.
Godfrey: I’m married, so my wife is my playmate. We’ve been together for five years.
Kitten: I’m in a relationship as well, though we’re not married. And yes, he’s my Dominant.
Writerchick: Excellent, thank you. Do you play in the privacy of your home? Or at clubs? Or anywhere else?
Kinkyboots: I prefer to play at home. I’m not really comfortable going to a club. This part of me is private.
Godfrey: My wife and I have been to clubs, and we go on occasion. Usually when there’s some kind of theme night. She enjoys that kind of stuff. But we also have a dungeon in our home. That’s where we do most of our play.
Writerchick: Theme night?
Godfrey: Yeah. It can be as simple as a holiday theme, or it can be more involved, like a Star Wars theme or something. One club does foam parties. They actually blow soapy foam onto the dance floor and everyone gets naked.
Oh my. I wait a minute for Kitten or Kinkyboots to weigh in on foam parties, but neither does.
Writerchick: Any other thoughts on clubs?
Kitten: Clubs for me. I like the club atmosphere. I go clubbing a lot at regular clubs, and I really love leather clubs. They’re a feast for the eyes.
Kitten’s not wrong. Black Rose Underground is sensory overload.
Writerchick: Next question. How do you keep your private life private?
Kinkyboots: It’s just not something I talk about to people at work. My closest friends know, and I trust them. But I’m not ashamed of what I’m into, so if someone found out, it wouldn’t be the end of the world.
Writerchick: Are you comfortable telling me what you do for a living?
Kinkyboots: I’m a flight attendant.
Writerchick: Thank you. I appreciate that.
Godfrey: I’m an attorney. So is my wife. We practice law together in a boutique firm with a couple of associates. So we keep it private. It’s no one’s business. Even when we go to the clubs, we don’t worry about being seen because the people who go to those clubs all have an understanding.
