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Sienna took it like whatever it held inside was about to wound her.
Minutes later, we were leaning against her car with the letters in our hands.
“One, two, three,” she said.
We both ripped open the papers.
The first line I read in my dad’s handwriting was, “I love you.”
My heart constricted.
I love you. You don’t need a letter. You need a change of life.
I don’t want you to stay here and pine over me. I want you to find a place, make it yours, and live your life the way you want to live it.
The life insurance I left behind should give you more than enough to open a restaurant. It should also start you off well somewhere that’s not here. I advised your sister to leave in her letter, just like I’m advising you.
I want you to find a place that’ll make you want to stay there forever. Somewhere where you can envision raising your kids and their kids raising your grandkids. Then, when Sienna is ready, I want her to come to you. Make a new home. Don’t think about the place you’re leaving behind or the memories.
Find you a woman. Make lots of babies. Be happy. Don’t endanger your fingers.
Love you lots, boy. You were always my favorite.
Sienna laughed, drawing my attention to her.
“Did he say you were his favorite?” she asked.
I handed her the letter and she handed me hers.
But instead of reading hers, I started to get lost in ideas.
Where would I want to go to open a restaurant?
I couldn’t think about a place, but I could think about a person.
The thought occurred to me and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
The longer I gave it thought, the more that thought felt like it was the perfect plan.
I could apply for the job at the circus.
I had no other life plans.
Dad left me an inheritance. I had no reason to work right now. There was no rush to open the restaurant or make any hasty decisions.
I handed her back her letter when she handed me mine.
She folded hers as I did the same, tucking it into the inside pocket of my leather jacket.
“Why do you look like you have a plan already?” she asked.
I shrugged. Because I did.
“Come on,” I said. “I’m going somewhere to eat. I’m craving Subway.”
Her brows rose, but she walked around to the driver’s side and got in.
When she settled inside and rolled her window down, she leaned out of it and looked at me.
“Are you really going to Subway?” Sienna asked.
I smiled. “I heard that Carron is working at Subway now. I’m going to run by there and have her make me a sandwich for old times’ sake.”
Sienna’s mouth fell open. “You are not.”
“I am,” I said. “And I need to let her know a few things.”
“Like what?” she asked.
“Like, I’m selling my house, and she needs to have her ass out of it by the time I get ready to leave.”
“You’re what?” Sienna shrieked.
“I’m leaving,” I said. “I found a job with a traveling circus. They need a new chef that cooks for all the entertainers and staff. I’m in the market for a job.”
“I thought that you would be using your money to open a food truck or a restaurant or something. Not leave!” She raised her voice. “You can’t leave!”
“I can,” I said. “I’m not married anymore, so there’s nothing tying me down. I have no family besides you, and you have Bob. I haven’t been happy with my job in a while and it’s going nowhere. There are even fewer prospects in this town. It makes sense for me to leave. I need to find a new place where I want to actually own a business. Heartsway is just not big enough to support a restaurant like I want to open.”
My sister looked stricken. “But I need you.”
I pulled her into my arms, dropping a kiss on her forehead. “You need Bob, sis. Not me.”
She laughed. “I will miss you if you go.”
“I’ll come back,” I said.
“Are you serious about a circus?” she asked.
I nodded against her forehead and rumbled out a “yeah.”
“It’s because of that girl that crashed Dad’s funeral, isn’t it?” she asked.
I didn’t see a point in lying to her.
“Yes,” I answered. “Partially. But Heartsway only holds bad memories for me now. Dad only stayed because this was the last place he was happy. But Dad’s not here. You’re planning on following Bob the moment that he gets his duty station. So yeah…I have nothing here anymore…and truthfully, neither do you.”
She scoffed. “I didn’t think you’d leave until I left.”
“I’ll wait until you leave,” I offered. “Want to go to Subway?”
Sienna scoffed. “Of course I’m going to fucking Subway.”
I got on my bike and led the way, pulling right up to the front door in the closest parking spot to where she could see out.
