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“Abbie?”
Her lips wobble as she raises her teary eyes to me. “I’m sorry, Noelle. I know I shouldn’t have listened to them, and I tried, I tried so hard but they wouldn’t stop talking. Their voices were in my head a lot.”
My breath quickens. “Whose voices?”
“Eden’s.”
That whispered word knocks the breath out of me. Exhaling sharply, I lean back in my seat, staring at Abbie. “And her friends?”
She hesitates, then nods. “Wh—when I was in the bathroom, I... I’d just finished cleaning up when she walked in with Kathryn and Delaney. You... you remember them?”
I nod. These are the people that constantly bullied Abbie and I. They were seniors, and they enjoyed picking on us. My fists clench in fury and I swallow hard, knowing what’s coming next.
Looking away, Abbie continues, “They laughed when they saw me. Eden called me all sorts of names. Said... said I was a fat loser and I was better off dead.” She pauses to catch her breath. “Of course, I’d heard all that before, but for some reason, that particular moment was a paradigm shift. I can’t explain, but I never felt the same after she said that.”
“What happened next?”
Abbie swallows hard. “It... it all happened so fast. When they left, I got back into the bathroom and I... I did it. I stuck my finger inside and everything came out. I remember feeling... powerful,” she whispers. “Like I was in complete control of my body. And the gripes, they– they just disappeared.”
Gazing at her, my mind goes back to the moments when Abbie always disappeared in the middle of whatever she was doing. After gym, during classes, or too frequently, after lunchtime at the cafeteria. I never questioned it because I didn’t quite see a reason to. I always assumed it was a typical standard to use the bathroom, especially after a meal.
Nine years later and I’m now discovering the truth.
Without a word, I reach over and embrace Abbie, hot tears burning through my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
She circles my back lightly, sniffing back her own tears. “Don’t say that, Ellie. It wasn’t your fault. You’ve looked out for me too. All these years, even when my family didn’t want me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have told you, Noelle. I’m so sorry.”
She’s crying as she’s talking, her tears soaking through my blouse. When she pulls away, her eyes are red and her cheeks are wet. “Again, I’m so sorry for what I said to you before, at the house.” She sniffs. “I remember everything. And… oh God, it was so stupid. I should never have even said that.” She expels a shaky breath. “It’s… it’s not true. None of it. You’re nothing like that, Noelle. Nothing.”
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I pull back the bedcover and gingerly ease myself next to Abbie. Luckily, I don’t weigh much so I don’t take up a lot of space. I wrap my arms around her and kiss the top of her head. “You don’t have to apologize, Abs. It’s fine.”
“But—"
“Shh.” I flick away a lone tear sliding down her left cheek. “No more words. I’m not mad, I swear.”
After blowing her nose and cleaning her last few tears, she smiles up at me weakly. “Best friends forever?”
Stroking her hair, I smile back. “Best friends forever.”
She gazes at me, a gentle smile playing at her lips. Then she buries her face into my chest and hugs me tight. When she doubles up, she asks, “How’s Maverick?”
My smile dies a bit. “Good. He’s, uh, good.”
Abbie tilts her head and gives me a knowing look. “Trouble in paradise?”
“No. I mean, I don’t know. I’m not sure.”
“What happened?”
I sigh, lifting my eyes to the ceiling. “I think he’s falling for me.”
Abbie’s face morphs into a large grin.
“Oh, god,” I hit her arm lightly and groan. “Don’t do that!”
“Why?” she asks, a bit puzzled. “It’s good news.”
Bringing my palm to my face, I let out another groan. “No, it’s not.”
