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But it doesn’t take away the devastation of losing everything I’ve worked for, though. Not even close.
Zane runs his fingers through my hair, smoothing it out. I’m grateful he’s at my side. I love his touch, the way he expresses his love through his ministrations.
“Leave her alone, Zane. Let the poor girl get some rest.”
But I can’t deal with Ryker’s constant barrage. Can’t he let it go for the moment? My life is a disaster and he doesn’t have the decency to cool it.
This is too much.
Zane and I need time alone. I need him to explain his silence earlier today. Or was that yesterday? I don’t even know what time it is, much less what day it is. I need to think things through. I can’t do it with a fuzzy head.
“I called your parents,” Zane says, his voice soft. “They’ll arrive this evening, only two days earlier than planned. Your brother’s coming too.”
Thank goodness. I need them. “Thank you.”
The pity in Zane’s eyes overwhelms me. He knows, like I do, that this is probably a career-ending injury, the closing of a chapter in my life.
I can’t do this.My hand is throbbing, but not as much as my heart. It’s aching in a way I’ve never felt before.
I turn onto my side, my back to Ryker and Zane, and burst into bone-wrenching sobs, the kind that physically hurt, the kind that involve every muscle in my body. I don’t want to break down, but I don’t seem to be able to control myself. I blame the drugs, even though I know the current circumstances are really at fault. My entire body shakes with the force of my sobs. I cry so hard I can barely catch my breath.
Zane rubs my back, a show of comfort that I desperately need. Even though I feel and appreciate his comfort, I can’t stop weeping.
I. Can’t. Stop.
When my convulsing cries don’t end, when it’s clear I can’t control my emotions, I hear Zane say to Ryker, “Call the nurse.”
The nurse rushes in, slightly alarmed by my mental state.
I am too. I’m overwhelmed with waves of anguish that are washing over me as regularly as the waves hit the shore.
She puts something in my IV. I feel it hit my veins as it trails up my arm in an icy path. It brings me the relief I need. The world around me disappears and fades away, giving me a blessed respite.
~
I’m awakened by my mother’s sweet voice.
“Hello, you must be Zane. I can’t tell you how happy I am to meet you. I wish it was under different circumstances, though.”
I open my eyes to see Zane engulfed in a motherly bear hug. I’m presented with my mother’s sweatsuit-covered backside. Zane is facing me, looking like a man who won a gold medal, but can’t believe it’s true.
It hits me that he’s never experienced motherly love. Not that he can remember, anyway.
Awkwardly, he lifts his hands from his sides and wraps his arms around my mother, returning her overexuberant hug. Perhaps I should’ve warned him. If he’s with me, my family will accept him wholeheartedly and love him as though he’s one of us. I don’t know if he’s ready for so much love and acceptance.
No need for him to remain silent here. This is a safe zone.
Ryker’s nowhere to be seen. I’m relieved he finally left.
My eyes are so swollen, they hurt, and my throat is scratchy. The muscles in my neck are strained from crying so hard and my head is pounding. I think the loss of a dream deserves a little pout. I’m allowed.
I’m the next one to be embraced by my mother, followed by my father, and Martin, my brother. They surround my bed and cry with me.
Mom runs her hand over my forehead. “You’ll play again, Mila. I know you will. Nothing can stop my baby girl when she’s determined to do something.”
“Are you kidding? Remember that summer she wanted a treehouse? Our Mila hounded me until we built it together. It took us days, but she never gave up or said she was too tired. When she wants something, she works until she gets it. If she’s told it’s impossible, my girl will find a way.” Dad holds my good hand, patting it softly.
“Seriously. A whole lotta babysitting hours went into that baby grand of hers. I still can’t believe she saved up enough to purchase it.” Martin rubs my arm. “You got this, Mila.”
