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“You’re right. I have every reason to be angry and bitter, to feel like my life is over, like there’s nothing left for me. The thing is, I nearly died in that car accident. But I didn’t. It was a miracle I survived. Instead of feeling bitter, I feel thankful every single day that I’m still alive, that I have a second chance to live. I choose happiness. It’s a deliberate choice. Simple as that.”
I ponder her words. “Even without Dex?”
Her eyes wander out to sea. “He’ll be back. I know he will. I sit out here every day waiting for his return. It’ll happen. And I’ll be the first one to greet him.”
“I don’t doubt it.”
“I’m staying in his childhood room. The pictures of me and him on our adventures cover the walls.” Joss shrugs. “People say I need to move on, that he’s not coming back. They’re wrong. He would never leave me. He just needs time to heal.”
Wow. I love how she believes in Dex. “Blu won’t be coming for me,” I mumble.
“Maybe not. But you’re alive, you’re healthy, and you have your entire future ahead of you. My mom always told me to replace anxiety with gratitude. It works for me. Try looking at life through a different lens. There’s a lot to be grateful for if you take the time to notice.”
She’s right. I’m alive, and I’m healthy. How could I think my life is over because of a man? I need to change my perspective. Why is that so hard to do?
I know anattitude of gratitudeis healthy. But it’s hard to find when life has knocked you down a few pegs.
“You’re pretty darn amazing, Joss. Did you know that?”
“No, I forget all too often. Thanks for reminding me. It’s something I need to hear.”
She smiles again, her sweet, angelic smile. Underneath it all is one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. She’s rock solid in her convictions. I love how she deliberately chooses happiness every day of her life.
I’ll never be a Joss. But I can learn from her.
“Will you sit with me for a while longer? I enjoy the company.” Joss’s eyes are bright and friendly.
“There’s nothing I’d rather be doing than sitting right here with you.” Truth. She’s amazing.
After a few moments of silence, Joss says, “Marin, don’t hurt Slade, okay? Promise me.”
“Slade?” I pretend I can’t imagine how it could happen. How could she know? Did I stare at him for too long?
“Sparks were flying between the two of you when you were checking in. You were crying over another man, and still it was obvious there was a connection between you. Anyone with eyes could’ve seen it. A blind person could’ve felt it. Slade never checks guests in. He always leaves it to me. He always honors our waiting list as well. Yet he gave you one of our best rooms indefinitely. Besides, neither one of you could stop staring at each other. The entire time. I’ve never seen Slade do that.”
Was I staring at Slade during check-in? I don’t remember staring at him. “But…I mean…that’s not…I’m here because…”
“I know,” Joss says.
Not sure how she knows what I meant, because I didn’t say anything coherent.
“Not saying I don’t approve of the two of you, because I do. Just don’t hurt him, okay?”
Her meaning is clear, even though she didn’t spell it out. Don’t use him as a rebound relationship. I wasn’t planning on it. My imagination is guilty of using him as therapy for a broken heart. But not in real life. It wouldn’t be fair to him.
“Okay.” I’m confused by my feelings for Slade. I’m still mourning Blu. “Why isn’t Slade taken already?”
“He dates. About a year ago, he was engaged to Kelly, the lady who owns and operates the merry-go-round on the boardwalk. Because of the location, she makes a good living.”
Another job never mentioned as a possibility in life. I feel cheated. “What happened?” Curiosity is sometimes my downfall.
“I don’t know all the reasons, but they ended things. It was amicable; they’re still friends.”
“Did you like her?” I ask.
“I did. She’s a sweetheart. I wish I knew what went wrong. At any rate, he’s still looking for his person, the one he’ll marry, the one who’ll be the mother of his children.”
“Is that what he wants in life?” My question is tentative as I wait to hear what I want to hear.
