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Slade walks out of the kitchen. “You did it, Mom. You’re a…”
“Please don’t tell me I’m a warrior,” Lauren interrupts.
“Fighter. I was going to say fighter.” Slade picks up a plate and glass from the coffee table and takes them to the kitchen where he proceeds to do the dishes. “Your favorite chicken pot pie is in the oven for you, Mom. The timer is set. There’s a salad in the fridge as well. Before I go, I’m gonna sweep off your patio. I know you love sitting out there.”
I begin to wonder if Slade has any faults. Any? At all? Is he real? Did I just imagine him? Maybe I’m still dreaming. No, my fantasies of him don’t compare to the real thing. The real-life version is a thousand times better. When does that ever happen?
Honestly, never. I’ve met my imagination’s match.
He closes the patio door behind him, and now I’m alone with Lauren. I watch Slade for a minute, and I think I fall in love with him just a little bit, if that’s even possible after knowing him for two seconds.
I really don’t know him at all. But today tells me so much about him.
“He fusses over me all the time.” Lauren smiles, her eyes large and liquid. “Mind you, I’m not complaining. I secretly love it. Don’t tell him. He’ll start sleeping in my guest room and never leave me alone.”
We ease into smiles, then laugh, knowing it’s true. I think about my mom telling me to watch how a man treats his mother. Then you’ll know how he’ll treat you. If it’s true, Slade’s a keeper.
“You’re doing the right thing, Marin, taking time for yourself, pushing the pause button on life. There’s so much power in giving yourself a break. We’re all so busy with day-to-day tasks. At the time, they seem so important, as though the universe will collapse if we don’t keep going. There’s one thing I’ve learned after going through cancer treatment. Sometimes in life, we just need to pause. Stop. Jump off the roller coaster of life. Take a deep breath. Notice every little thing around us we’re grateful for. The taste of good food and being able to eat it. Sunshine on your skin. The blueness of the sky on a clear day. Uncontrollable laughter. Love that takes you by surprise. Naps on rainy days. The times when chocolate is a cure-all. The wind on your face. A loved one’s touch. The feel of your chest rising and falling as you breathe life into your body. A spoonful of ice cream on your tongue. Knowing family are our truest friends in the world. All the little things in life we take for granted so often.
“Until something life-changing happens, we often don’t even realize how grateful we are for the little things. But it’s the little things that make life so beautiful. It’s the little things that are really the big things. Like something as simple as a son sweeping a patio. Or stocking a refrigerator. It fills me with happiness.” Her eyes glisten with tears, but none fall.
The concept of pausing my life during or after a traumatic event resonates with me. In essence, this vacation is me pausing my life. I can’t move on until I’ve come to terms with everything that’s happened.
Just like Joss, Lauren is happy and at peace, even though her life is in turmoil. I wish I could find that kind of peace. I wish I could grasp onto a perfect perspective and keep it. It seems elusive.
“I hadn’t thought of it like that until now. I’ve been feeling like my life is over, like there’s nothing left for me. What you just said—it makes me look at life so differently.” I bite my lip, holding back tears. She’s making me miss my own mother. “Thank you.”
Lauren points to a sign on her wall. “I don’t know if you’re religious, but this is my favorite scripture. You don’t have to be religious to appreciate its meaning.”
It’s a plaque done in a beautiful script from Psalms Chapter Thirty, Verse Five. It says:Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.
“That’s beautiful,” I whisper, because the moment feels sacred.
“You’re weeping inside right now, Marin. But this night will end,” Lauren says thickly. “And you will find joy again in the morning. Try to hold on to that thought. It’s gotten me through some tough times.”
I lower my head and wonder why I can’t find peace during this hard time in my life. Why is this concept so hard for me?
“Anyway, I think a little sunshine has entered your life. You just haven’t realized it yet.” Lauren’s thoughtful eyes are on Slade as she says those words.
Her hint is about as subtle as a boulder crashing into her condo. Does Lauren see something between us? Something we haven’t admitted to ourselves yet?
I glance at him meticulously cleaning every speck of dust from his mother’s patio. I watch him for several beats too long, giving my inner feelings away, I’m sure.
I look back at Lauren and she smiles a secretive smile. It makes me wonder what she’s thinking. She hums “Here Comes the Sun” as her fingers play with the blanket on her lap. “Everything will be all right, Marin. I’m sure of it.”
I have no idea what to say. I’m a little overwhelmed by her insight, so I change the topic back to her.
“It sounds as though everything will be all right for you too. I’m so happy you’re done with treatment. Is there anything else I can do for you while I’m here?”
“I’d love my pillow from my bed upstairs, but I’m too tired to tackle the stairs. I sleep on the couch more often than not. Don’t tell Slade. He’ll show up every night to carry me up the stairs. Would you mind?”
We share a smile as I hop to my feet. “Not at all. And your secret’s safe with me.”
chapter thirteen
MY PHONE DINGS, letting me know I have a text.
Hey! We’re out on the beach watching the bubble show. You have some splaining to do.
