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“That didn’t go exactly as planned.” Lauren grants me a watery smile. “I knew it wouldn’t.”
I stand, Slade’s distress calling to me. I need to go to him. “He’ll come around. He loves you. Just give him some time.”
“You’ll be there for him?” she asks.
“I will.” He’s been there for me during my hard times. Now it’s my turn to be there for him. I look down, feeling shaken. Will he want me? “I’d better go. Do you need anything before I leave?”
“I’m fine. Thank you, Marin. May I ask, you and Slade, are you two . . .” she trails off.
“Yes. But it’s very new between us. Fragile.”
“I wanted to tell him when he had someone to comfort him. I suppose this wasn’t good timing for your relationship. I’m so sorry.” Lauren’s face is riddled with anxiety.
I shift from foot to foot. “I don’t think there’s a good time for the kind of news he just received. It would’ve been hard no matter what. Don’t beat yourself up over it. For the record, I think you did the right thing. He deserves to know.”
“Thanks, Marin. He’s going to need you.”
“I’ll be there for him. I’d better go. I need to find him, make sure he’s okay.”
“Wait. You don’t have a ride.” Lauren starts to get up, as though she’s going to drive me.
Uh, no.
I pull out my cell phone. “I’ll get an Uber. Don’t worry about me. Get some rest.”
She sits back down, looking relieved. I give Lauren a hug before I go. “You did the right thing,” I whisper, reassuring her one more time. Then I take my leave, hoping I can find Slade. He must be shattered.
I don’t get an Uber. I walk the streets of Misty Gray, my thoughts in turmoil. I don’t blame Slade for taking off the way he did. Without me. It hurts, but I get it. I can’t imagine how he’s feeling right now. I’m not sure how this will play out when it comes to our relationship. Is he going to be so upset that he won’t be able to deal with us? I don’t know what to expect. I’m ashamed of myself for worrying about us as a couple. This isn’t about me. This is all about Slade.
Truth is, I don’t know him well enough to know how he’ll deal with this. I’m not sure any person would know how to deal with this kind of news. I was able to move on from getting dumped by Blu, um, kind of fast. Slade’s issue is an entirely different beast. How do you move on from finding out your father wasn’t your father? I don’t know.
Will he turn to me for comfort? I don’t know the answer to that question either. Our relationship is so new. Does he even look upon me as someone he can turn to?
Everything was so perfect. We had a plan. We were going to give ourselves time to see where this thing between us would go.
A huge wrench just inserted itself in our best laid plans.
Am I really about to have my heart broken for the second time in a little over a week? Oh my gosh, I am. I just know it. I already miss perfect, happy Slade so much. I hope that person is not gone. I hope this doesn’t change him forever. I hope this doesn’t change his view of marriage the way family drama changed Blu’s thoughts on marriage.
My wandering thoughts fill the time it takes me to walk back to Sheridan House. Slade’s car isn’t there. Joss isn’t even out on the patio. She’s spending time with her father. I seriously doubt Slade will be doing his bubble show today.
I run upstairs, seeking the safety of my room. I throw myself on the bed and burst into tears. This is now the room of sorrow, the room where I cry over men, not just Blu. Now I’m crying for Slade.
How did that happen? Once again, my life feels out of my control, and I don’t like it one bit.
As I sob, it dawns on me, something I didn’t realize or expect. It’s not a feeling I’m familiar with.
I’m not crying for myself.
This should not be a foreign emotion. As a single woman, has my life been all about me? College, career, finding the right man to marry. I don’t think about other people enough. I mean, after my shift, I volunteer at the library to help tutor children who need help with reading. Literacy is a subject I’m passionate about. I’m not a total monster.
Still, my tears are not for me.
They’re for Slade’s pain.
chapter nineteen
ALIGHT KNOCKon my door wakes me up. I fell asleep fully clothed, stretched out sideways on the bed.
